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Why cant i get over him?! Please help!!


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I met this guy in 2011. We were both 21. I am now 24, him 23. He lived in a city about 45 minutes away from where I lived. We met on Twitter, then found out we went to high school together in Houston but didn't know each other then. Cute, right? Well, it has since been 2 years and during the course of these 2 years, things were fine, I'd get upset sometimes if I saw him flirting with a girl online or if he ignored my text. We saw each other when we could. He sent me songs and sunset pics I loved. Idk why I fell in love with him, well I do, just wish I didn't. Things never got official. I eventually had enough after seeing him: in a pic with another girl online, and seeing him join forces with other females in business. I support his entrepreneurial spirit but I guess I just wished he supported me thee way he does them. I threatened to leave a few times and he'd usually say something to make me laugh. The last time I got upset, he told me "plz let me to. Take that love and love yourself" THAT. BROKE. ME. That was on 11/11/13 and I have cried EVERYDAY consecutively since that day. I know it has to be some type of personal problem why I can't get over this but I don't know what to do? Wait out this pain? I've been so depressed and even suicidal but don't want to do anything so permanent. Sometimes I'm ok but I always cry and get sad again, especially at night. I've tried two love spells, prayer, everything! I recently started my own business and is trying to use that as an outlet but things aren't picking up as fast as I expected so I have time to be sad. I really wish I could stop this pain. I'm so afraid I will kill myself just to escape the pain but I have a daughter I just can't do that to. I just don't understand how he could not care and I care so much?! I don't know what I did to deserve this. I don't have time, what can I do now?! I've been depressed in this situation way too long! Not even God cares, I have since become an athiest because I was so sure God sent him to me to help my healing after my mom passed. He was the best thing that happened to me since she died, then when it started going south I prayed so hard (never prayed about a guy EVER) and nothing! I am so lost....PLEASE HELP ME!

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I am with you on this one. I honestly used to be a funny, laid-back, confident guy. And my last relationship + the break-up broke me down emotionally. I became depressed and started getting panic attacks. I also have the suicidal thoughts. It even got to the point where I had to admit myself to the hospital because one day I got a panic attack so bad I couldn't control myself. It's rough....

 

I'm about 30 days into being dumped and I can say it hasn't gotten much better. BUT it has gotten a little better and here are the things I've done: I started seeing a therapist twice a week and she helps out alot. I went to the doctor and he put me on Zoloft and Xanax and that helps control my moods. I started seeing a personal trainer and he is kicking my butt into shape, I feel so much better afterwards (elevates your Serotonin levels). I started joining clubs in my area to put myself out there and just meet new people. I started to write, write, write.....emails to her that I will never send, journaling my feelings, poems etc. I started taking multivitamins because all the "B" ones help fight against your anxiety/stress/depression. Oh and most importantly....it's ok to cry and scream into pillows, do it as often as you can...you need to get it all out. Just think that everytime you cry your releasing a part of him and healing little by little.

 

That's about all I got. Time is going to have to take care of the rest.

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We here, understand your pains....

I KNOW how low you feel right now with your loss. This is not easy.

Im on month 8 of a 5 yr relation and it still hurts me.. a lot Sadly, it is just something WE have to come to 'accept', and it all takes time.

Yes, you will experience MANY emotions for the next few months. The hurt, lonliness, anger, confusion, denial, etc...

 

I also felt so low- I didnt care what happened to me. I just felt so awful! I am now on something to deal with my anxiety that got the best of me for a good 2-3 months. It's called Cipralex. IF it's really bad for you, maybe you can get in and talk to your dr to see if this can be eased off some to 'help you out', for a while?

 

As for thinking of 'suicide', like I said, i thought that low too. BUT- we have to 'learn' how to accept and be 'happy' again without them and satisfied with ourselves. We were okay before them.. we can be okay, after them too.

Might I suggest some therapy? That might help out right now too. I've been in therapy for 5 months now. Never hurts to talk about our problems...

 

Even though you've 'thought' something like suicide. You can come to 'over look' that. YOU have a child who is depending on you and counting on your time & love. Remember this!

I find.. no matter what I feel.. at the end of the day, It is very refreshing I have my boys to see and I KNOW they need mom.

 

Give it all some time. Time is all you've got. Take care of YOU now..work on your emotional & mental health.

 

Take care.. you're not alone.

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yikes, I'm sorry you are going through this. If someone ever told me to "please love myself" I would take it as an "aha moment". I think you should turn around this sorrow and sadness you are experiencing and focus on YOU! This person is obviously moving on, and wants you to do the same. I know it's easier said than done, but you might want to reconsider next time and not make a man the center of your universe, I don't mean to sound harsh, really, but seriously, it will make your life so much easier. If he helped you after your mom passing (I'm sorry about your loss as well), then take that and cherish it as a positive memory. He helped you get up so now continue with your path towards recovery. Believe me, I just made the same mistake, I dropped everything for a man who in the end is no longer there for me, and mislead me for two years and I'm back to broke and living with roommates because I let myself depend on him so much. Unfortunately, from what I've learned in life is that no matter who is around us, we are at the core, alone. As an atheist myself, self-reliance has always been the way to get through life, and disappointments are just part of it. If you feel like "god doesn't care" then this is your opportunity to practice self-reliance. aaand believe me, there is nothing hotter than a person who takes care of himself/herself first... work on you, take your time, heal, do the things that interest you. I hope this helps and good luck

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