She says she wants to spend the rest of her life with me Next day were ona break

[Sportsman44]

Hello, I am very new to this and never used a forum but I thought nows the time for open opinions. I met a girl this spring, we hung out for a week...she stopped talking to me. Then about 1 1/2 months ago we started hanging out again. Everything progressed very fast. We were going out, spending the night at each other's places. Meeting the parents, discussing our lives.. You think it.. That's it. I'm 24, she's 27. She was married for 2 years, and just got out of a 3 year rocky relationship. You could say we were "dating" but she never called it that. We were having unprotected sex and she was not on birth control. We were pretty sure she was pregnant and I decided it was to early to carry on with it so she got the pill. We were laying in bed and emotions were flying. She told me I'm amazing, perfect, where did I come from? I'm the guy she's looking for her whole life... Then she told me she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, and I can honestly say I could do the same. Everything seemed PERFECT. The very next day, she told me that she's not over her past, we've been hanging out way to much, and she needs her space. Basically she's not over her ex. She doesn't want to get back with him, but she's not over it. I asked her what was up with us? And she said there was never anything... We were only hanging out for a month. A COMPLETE opposite of the night before. Anyways.. We've only talked 2 times since then and she says she needs space.. Which I'm giving her it because I don't want to mess this up. I feel she's confused, scared and doesn't know what she wants. She said she could be over her past tomorrow, 6 months, a year, she doesn't know.. But if I'm around (which I will be). That she'll be back. I honestly don't think there's anyone else she's talking to... I need advice. I have never been this upset, my stomach is in knots, and I'm starting to get depressed. This is the only thing I can think about... Anyone that responds thank you VERY MUCH!

[mhowe]

You balked at her pregancy trap...unprotected sex...what were you thinking!

And she's waited her whole life for you...besides that 2 year marriage and that 3 year relationship.

 

What a crock! You didn't jump at the chance to put a ring on it (rightly so). And she is looking for a sucker. Walk, do not run to the nearest exit.

 

because if she doesn't bag a guy soon, she will give you another chance at the prize. Yikes!

[SooSad33]

You were just a 'rebound'. They happen VERY fast paced and after a long term relationship break up.

Saying you are the best... etc? That happens in rebounds. She is SO not over her past relations. Totally messed.

 

Yes, it could be many months + before she is 'healed' from her loss(es). We all need that kind of break, on our own for a good while to get more stable, mentally & emotionally before we can move on again in a happy, healthy mode.

[HeartGoesOn]

It's your call, but there are enough red flags here to make your head spin. In addition to that, what were your plans if she were to become pregnant? My guess is you would end up having to pay child support for a minimum of 18 years. Either way, why bring an innocent child into this world, with someone whom you barely know?

[ParisPaulette]

Ah crap, rebound-itis all right. That sucks, she likely does like you plenty well enough and she was hoping you'd erase the past hurts and relationships by being there. It's part of why she probably jumped in so fast with you. The problem is though relationships don't end overnight, not the long-term ones anyways and yes she needs time to process and heal. So back off, give her space, date other people and as much as it may hurt the facgt is this one just isn't ready for a relationship.

 

And about the unprotected sex, not to sound like your mom (oh who am I kidding, totally a mom here) but you are risking so many things doing that. You're risking your own health, hers, and pregnancy just isn't something light to be glossed over. All of these things have serious consequences, so please use protection from now on. Please. Go get yourself tested right away, yes I know you won't want to hear that but while you may know her you don't know anything about the guys she was sleeping with beforehand. And since most VDs don't show up right away it's just common sense. Protect yourself, protect the lady you're with, realize bringing a child into the world is not a small thing and you'd be on the hook for 18 years at least to pay for the child if you don't stay with the mother.

[Sportsman44]

Thank you, exactly what I was thinking... I have talked to a few of my friends that are girls and hung out with us, and they do not believe this is a rebound and I honestly don't either. I told her I 100 percent respect her on this and what I want more is for her to get happy. She said she could see her self with me again. I honestly believe we both think we're supposed to be together. I can see it in her eyes.... Can't let this one go

[Ms Darcy]

Total rebound. Rushed, no real foundation to begin with.

 

If and when you experience real love, you will see it burns slow, it is committed, it is secure. This is just the flame of excitement and infatuation. You weren't supposed to be together. It's just the chemicals in your brain lying to you. You had no real, stable relationship to base that assessment off of.

 

It's sad how many nowadays don't really know what love is.

[Sportsman44]

I've had a few people online say rebound, but all my girlfriends don't think so and I can't believe it. Your right.. This was rushed, but it was a head over heels crazy for each other rush. An ex was contacting her with a lot of past strings attached. Not getting back with him, but she has to be honest to herself, myself, and our relationship before she moves on with me... It's one of those where you know she may be the one

[uniqueme]

You were lucky you weren't trapped by her. Move on and forget her.

[Ms Darcy]

She is not the one; you all are not together.