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Self-conscious about going to some places alone


kevin715

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So I currently have a full-time job and a part-time job, and as such, I hardly have any time for myself. But tonight, I do have the rest of the day off, and at my part-time job, there's an end-of-the-year holiday get-together. The thing is that other than my immediate supervisors, I barely have any contact with any other co-workers in the job that I have, and because I'm a generally shy person, I fear that I'm just going to be that guy who doesn't really say anything and doesn't know anyone there other than his supervisors. It just seems like during times like these, everyone seems to be in conversations with everyone else while I just go somewhere near the food and eat or drink so that I don't just stand there idly where everybody notices.

 

There's also a happy hour at a bar that my high school alma mater and a few other sister schools are hosting tonight, but I'm self-conscious about being alone there as well and, once again, not knowing people and everyone else seeing me as some loner. The last few times I've been to get-togethers involving my high school (networking, parties, sporting events, etc.) I've always gone with my older brother so I didn't feel pressure to stand out, but now he's in the military and it's just me and I don't know too many alumni outside of the people who were in my graduating class, and I wasn't too close to many of those people, either.

 

And this also isn't exclusive to these situations, but it also seems to apply for other things like the movies, sit-down restaurants, bars and sporting events, because since I graduated college a few years ago, I've only been to any of these places with friends, family, etc.

 

In either case, how can I make it feel less awkward from my vantage point and make it at least seem that I'm enjoying myself?

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Well, your body language betrays you. If you really aren't comfortable, it will show in how you cross your arms, or stand around, or look around.

 

Those aren't great situations for anybody. But if your goal is to have fun, watching something interesting or have friendly chit chat, then just go. No one will judge you.

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@guynextdoor: That's another thing. I don't really have many real friends that I talk to or even see on a regular basis. The only one I've had recently was my then-girlfriend about a year ago.

 

As for the work event, it went pretty much as I expected it to go. I got there, and there were a lot of people, many of them talking to everyone else; most had a beer in hand. I didn't drink, not because of some moral reason, but I just didn't want to do so. I essentially resigned myself to getting some food and standing and watching other people talk. Yeah, some people introduced themselves to me, but other than asking for food, that was the extent of me really having anything to say. I had a feeling that this was going to be tough since everyone who works in my department works with very little supervision or interaction with others, so even if people were talking about work, I wouldn't have anything to connect with them about. And the thing is, this stinks because the part-time job is in an industry that I want to work in long-term and hopefully get a full-time job at this company. I have no idea, to be honest.

 

I didn't bother going to the happy hour because by the time I would have gotten there, it would have been halfway over. I guess shy people simply don't have a place in this world, and I still don't know how to get over it, so why waste my time?

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