What are friendships worth having?

[bulletproof]

But some people seem to be just too selective about who they keep in regular contact with. People seem to maintain friendships or even relationships with others living far away, but can't seem to do the same to me. That's what hurts the most.

 

You're looking for logic where there may not necessarily be any.

You don't know their reasons for keeping in touch with some and not others.

You say they seem "too selective" but that's their right and their choice. It's not up to you to judge whether you think they are selective.

Overall, stop fighting it and trying to get people to behave a certain way, and find others who live up to your expectations.

[stuka80]

I dont think you're materialistic at all, but you have to know the differences between friends and acquaintances. Just because you guys hang out on weekends does not mean that you guys are friends. I personally have multiple invites to parties/events/etc nearly every weekend and i usually take up those offers but i know that out of all those people that constantly invite me out, i can only say with certainty that 3 out of those 10+ people are friends, the rest are acquaintances and i treat them as such.

 

"You will know who your real friends are when the crap hits the fan", that saying is thrown around so much and yet people still do not understand. The older i get the more i realize how valuable to friends are because there are so few out there that will understand and be there for you in your time of need that when i do consider one a friend, i make sure not to ever betray or let go of that friendship. You have a good grasp on what friendship means but unfortunately not everyone of your friends takes it as seriously as you do.

 

You should read Cicero's "Laelius on Friendship", it's an extensive analysis on what being a friend means. Quite an interesting read, you can find it online just google it.

[mhowe]

Next time you move --- call all your friends and ask for help. See who shows up!