Friends With Benefits..

[sonicfan287]

True, but all I really want is to be with her. If that means just sex, I guess that'll be it, maybe until I find a girl that wants a relationship, It's better then being alone.

 

I don't know why, but I took offense to this statement. Maybe not offense but it just struck me as odd. You seem to be in a lot of distress, not knowing what to do, what to say, worried about this woman you just met and what she may be doing (and probably is doing) and yet you end it all by saying "it's better than being alone". As someone who's been single for almost 2 years, Ive slowly begun to appreciate the benefits from being alone, yes there are benefits.

 

For one, you don't have to worry about what your gf/fwb or f-buddy is doing when you're not around, you don't need to feel inadequate or as if you need to do something to please someone else because there's noone to please, only yourself. Don't get me wrong, love is a beautiful thing and is worth holding out for, and yes, I'll confess that sex would be nice as well, but I'm doing fine without it. I'll keep my sanity any day. I just hope things work out for you, regardless. Just some food for thought

[Hazyillusions]

I'd rather be alone than do stuff with someone who views me as a piece of meat.

 

Work on your self esteem-you're quite passive aren't you?

Why continue when u like her, you're only going to get hurt.

 

And you're actually still alone btw.

[shelty24]

Why are you settling for second best? You want a relationship, she doesn't so you are not compatable..

 

i can already see how this pans out. She will sleep with someone else, youll be hurt so you will, she will eventually develop feelings and get jealous, neither of you will trust each other coz of all this history and then you will have one dysfunctional mess of a relationship that will crush both your self esteem, self worth, self confidence and end up hating the opposite sex for 10 years..

 

i really don't know why people bother with this kinda crap..

[agatha]

about the initial problem:

 

sexclusivity can be dealt both in fb or fwb, as long as you agree on it. fwb's are better for that, because there's the all-time trust issue f'ing everything up. std talks should be mandatory, exam swaps as well.

 

but in your case, I hardly think you are ready for a relationship of any kind. maybe you should get a dog. or a fish, easier to maintain...

 

either way, if you are set on keep seeing her, TALK to her. communication is the best problem solver ever. there will be 3 billion women left on the world for you to choose if she decides to wane away.

[KORG]

about the initial problem:

sexclusivity can be dealt both in fb or fwb, as long as you agree on it. fwb's are better for that, because there's the all-time trust issue f'ing everything up. std talks should be mandatory, exam swaps as well.

 

Yes, people can agree on sexual exclusivity even if they are not in a romantic relationship. STD risk is a perfectly good reason for this that's entirely unrelated to other concerns about romantic feelings or jealousy. Some people do the FWB/FB thing without any discussion of other partners and have no illusions of exclusivity, but this is not always the case. OP, you should indeed talk to her about this.

 

either way, if you are set on keep seeing her, TALK to her. communication is the best problem solver ever. there will be 3 billion women left on the world for you to choose if she decides to wane away.

 

Even if she doesn't want a relationship, she might still agree to sexual exclusivity for health reasons. I think there is no harm in having this talk. If she decides to bail after your talk, then I don't think you are losing anything that was worth holding on to in the first place.

[capilot]

Even people who are just FWB can establish rules. In fact, they should.

 

You want to be monogamous? Lots of perfectly legit reasons to ask for that, starting with health reasons. Maybe you're catching feelings? Nothing wrong with that either.

 

Talk to her about it; you might find out you're both on the same page.