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Friends With Benefits..


fawaka

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Hello,

 

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum, I'm new here and I really need advice.

 

I recently met this girl and we've kind of agreed we're both not looking for a relationship, so we're kind of 'friends with benefits' now, we already had sex several times. However, I know this might seem weird but I really hate the idea of her doing it with other guys. I don't know why, but that's how I feel, I like her as a person and I love the sex we have. I never let her know this bothers me though, now my question is.. Would it be bad if I asked her if she was having sex with other guys aswell? I don't feel like ruining what we have, but if she would just have several other guys just waiting around I don't know if I want to continue.. How do you think I should approach this? Our next appointment is in about 10 days, she has to work this weekend, please halp.

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No, you are not FWB. You just met her recently --- you know next to nothing about her.

 

You can hate the idea all you want. You have no say. Well, actually --- you had your say. You don't want a relationship.

 

She is free to have sex with as many people as she pleases.

 

As you note --- you have an appointment --- not a date.

And there may be many appointments in front of yours.

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Honestly I would rather be the only one, know it sounds rediculous to say that since we wont have a relationship. And yeah I would like a relationship if she would want to, but I wont bring that up since she doesn't.

 

It feels like I have feelings for her yes, I think about her a large part of the day, every day >_>

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She didn't want a relationship --- that is her choice.

You do, but said you didn't --- so, your choice.

 

You don't get to tell her to be exclusive to you --- because she has already told you she doesn't want to be.

 

Your choice --- find someone who wants a relationship.

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Honestly I would rather be the only one, know it sounds rediculous to say that since we wont have a relationship. And yeah I would like a relationship if she would want to, but I wont bring that up since she doesn't.

 

It feels like I have feelings for her yes, I think about her a large part of the day, every day >_>

 

Did she say why she doesn't want a relationship? Does she know that you do?

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She didn't want a relationship --- that is her choice.

You do, but said you didn't --- so, your choice.

 

You don't get to tell her to be exclusive to you --- because she has already told you she doesn't want to be.

 

Your choice --- find someone who wants a relationship.

 

 

Seems reasonable...however I don't want to stop seeing her

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If you are feeling like this it mean that at some level you are starting to have emotions for which means the FWB needs to stop.

 

A FWB is someone you have sex with and there is no emotional connection. As long as you guys are being safe there is no reason to discuss if she is having sex with other people. The only reason, and the only right you would have, to bring it is if 1) You were in a relationship with her. Or 2) If you had concerns about your or her sexual health.

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You already started on the wrong foot by telling that you just wanted sex.. So, to backtrack is probably not going to work.. Like mentioned, you are not FWB because you were never friends.. You are a f buddy.. You know practically nothing about that woman..So, it is really not your place to ask her who else she is sleeping with because well, you are just sex. Oh, and, hopefully, since you don't know her, you are using protection..

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You NEVER text a question about something of that nature. It is either in person or in a phone call.

 

You have possibly been on 2 dates/appointments. You don't even know her well enough.

 

You know how she feels. I think you just don't like to think about her with other men --- you don't want a relationship either.

 

Stop seeing her.

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How did you meet her? How did the conversation come up? Did you tell her that you didn't want a relationship?

 

Met her via the internet, I know It's crazy, but she doesn't seem like that type. She said she never went on the internet like that. She is really sweet. She just said via a text shortly after we exchanged phone number she wasn't looking for a relationship. And later I asked her why she wasn't, and she said she likes being alone. I said me neither when she said she didn't want a relationship. which I regret saying now.

 

(Sorry for my bad grammar, my first language isnt' english

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Thanks for all the responds everyone, what you are saying is true, it is none of my business and I should accept the fact that I can't be the only one, and I shouldn't stick my nose in that, the truth hurts, guess I am not the kind of guy that can just sleep with someone without emotions getting in the way. I will probably keep seeing this girl though, probably not the best idea but I feel like I might get over these feelings after a while, hopefully

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Met her via the internet, I know It's crazy, but she doesn't seem like that type. She said she never went on the internet like that. She is really sweet. She just said via a text shortly after we exchanged phone number she wasn't looking for a relationship. And later I asked her why she wasn't, and she said she likes being alone. I said me neither when she said she didn't want a relationship. which I regret saying now.

 

(Sorry for my bad grammar, my first language isnt' english

 

You are making assumptions.. You don't know her well enough to gage her true personality.. You got yourself in a f buddy situation.. This is not going to lead to a relationship, especially since she already mentioned she didn't want one..

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Thanks for all the responds everyone, what you are saying is true, it is none of my business and I should accept the fact that I can't be the only one, and I shouldn't stick my nose in that, the truth hurts, guess I am not the kind of guy that can just sleep with someone without emotions getting in the way. I will probably keep seeing this girl though, probably not the best idea but I feel like I might get over these feelings after a while, hopefully

 

Well, when in doubt, lower your standards.

 

If you want a relationship, find a girl who does as well.

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Met her via the internet, I know It's crazy, but she doesn't seem like that type. She said she never went on the internet like that. She is really sweet. She just said via a text shortly after we exchanged phone number she wasn't looking for a relationship. And later I asked her why she wasn't, and she said she likes being alone. I said me neither when she said she didn't want a relationship. which I regret saying now.

 

(Sorry for my bad grammar, my first language isnt' english

 

The reason I asked is because in the dating world, many women are conditioned to let the man take the lead in which direction the relationship is going. I was going to say maybe she just said that because you said that you didn't want one. If you were a woman making this same post, I would have said, "Stop seeing him."

 

I think you should tell her flat out that you don't want to just hook up with her, that you would rather see her exclusively, and if she doesn't feel the same way, you will need to move on. Don't want to get your hopes up, because she will probably maintain that she doesn't want a relationship. But at least you put it out there.

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The reason I asked is because in the dating world, many women are conditioned to let the man take the lead in which direction the relationship is going. I was going to say maybe she just said that because you said that you didn't want one. If you were a woman making this same post, I would have said, "Stop seeing him."

 

I think you should tell her flat out that you don't want to just hook up with her, that you would rather see her exclusively, and if she doesn't feel the same way, you will need to move on. Don't want to get your hopes up, because she will probably maintain that she doesn't want a relationship. But at least you put it out there.

 

I see your point, but I'm already pretty sure she'll say no, and it might bring what we have now in danger. So I'll just bite the bullet and keep seeing her, you guys posts made me feel better definitly and changed my view of things, I was being rediculous.. I hope these feelings will fade soon and I can just keep seeing her like I am now, thanks everyone

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I see your point, but I'm already pretty sure she'll say no, and it might bring what we have now in danger. So I'll just bite the bullet and keep seeing her, you guys posts made me feel better definitly and changed my view of things, I was being rediculous.. I hope these feelings will fade soon and I can just keep seeing her like I am now, thanks everyone

 

But if you like her and want something with her that is more than physical, continuing a strictly sexual relationship isn't going to help.

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But if you like her and want something with her that is more than physical, continuing a strictly sexual relationship isn't going to help.

 

True, but all I really want is to be with her. If that means just sex, I guess that'll be it, maybe until I find a girl that wants a relationship, It's better then being alone.

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