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I'm really worried that I might have ruined things with my girlfriend so I've come here looking for some advice. We've only been going out a few months but the last two weeks have been very up and down. We've had a lot of fun when we've been together but when we've been apart we've bickered quite a bit. It's been mostly my fault and I kept bringing things up that I feel insecure about and getting in stupid moods (I have been very stressed with coursework).

 

We seem to be kind of OK at the minute and I am trying to not bring up our arguments and leave it behind us but she now seems much less keen to see me and has cancelled our plans to hang out on friday because there's a friend's party she wants to go to (she hasn't invited me to it either). I am afraid that the bickering has really put her off the relationship and has started us on a path to breaking up.

 

I wish I could have seen her this week as it would offer a perfect opportunity to have fun and respark her excitement but I don't think I will get a chance until a Christmas party we are both supposed to be going to next week.

 

I am determined to correct things and am trying my best to be totally normal and fun when we speak but I'm worried it's too late. I remember reading somewhere that once a women's interest in a relationship falls below a certain level, there is no way to get it back, it will just die a slow death. Am I worrying unnecessarily? What can I do to try to fix things?

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Tell her that you're sorry about the fighting, acknowledge your part of it, and that you want to start fresh and put all of it behind you and that you won't bring up those things anymore, and don't bring them up. Pick and choose your battles more wisely in the future, and hopefully this can be in the past. All relationships have the occasional argument, but constant bickering even about stupid things that don't seem important will erode and destroy even the strongest relationships. If you are feeling insecure, figure out why and how you can get past it.

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Well she hasn't dumped you yet so it seems she is still interested. My advice is to say 'listen, i'm sorry i have been so uptight lately, i've been really stressed with coursework, i just wanna say thank you for being so considerate and understanding. i'm looking forward to a fun holiday season...and i'm really happy you'll be around with me'...Perhaps she's already made her decision and she's on her way out, but u don't need to worry bout that yet....

 

You are overanalyzing and being insecure. You need to quit this, it's what's causing u problems to begin with...

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I took her advice and called her just now to apologise. She didn't say a huge amount but said it's OK and we're cool.

 

What can I do now? I am still a bit worried that this has eroded her interest as you say.

 

The best thing to do now is just be cool and start fresh. Try to get all the negative and insecure thoughts out of your head and just move forward. Don't bring it up again now that you have apologized, just carry on as normal, and try to avoid fighting over little things. Pick and choose your battles.

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Stop the insecurity ---- that is what is pushing her away. Classes are done --- enjoy the holidays and have fun.

 

Agree. The more you do at this point the worse you look because you are acting really insecure and needy. Just keep it cool and things will probably be fine.

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