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my ex left me cold


juniorr

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My ex broke up with me because we had an argument and i said some mean stuff (because i was angry not that i meant them) we didnt speak for 3 weeks because i broke my phone and i was still angry at her (lame excuse i know) but then i spoke to her 3 weeks after the argument and i said sorry and apologised sincerely and she told me that its over and she told me it was because of what i said on the phone ,she said we should remain friends ,we were friends for about a month and we started drifting , then suddenly she started giving me hints that she misses me and want to get back , i didn't wanna jump to it because i wanted her to be clearer and be sure its what she wanted , so i didnt jump to it , i still spoke to her as friends , then a week before her 18th birthday she said she wants to go for a meal with me and she said she wants to come see me , at first i brushed it off and said "i dont think its a good idea because i do not want to lead you on " , just because i wasnt sure if she really wanted to get back , i wanted her to open up to me more and tell me instead of giving me hints. She then said "i really want you to come for a meal for my birthday even if its just as friends" , she also said she wants me to come to her birthday party , so a week after i was at her birthday party and she gave me a big hug , and then on my way home she started sending me messages how she wants ne back and then i fell for it and all my feelings started coming back , she said shr loves me , and i said i love you too , then we decided to meet up , the day we was meant to meet up she gave me some lame excuse and then said maybe we should stay as friends ,and she said she will call me back , she never did , and i kept calling she wont pick up , she eventually gave the phone to one of her male friends on purpose to pick up and he said she will call me back in 15 minutes , she never did , so i kept calling looking desperate , because she had my hopes up and slammed it in my face between minutes , i was so angry that i smashed our photo frame and took a picture and sent it to her , i wrote a letter to her saying howmuch i love her and want her back , but in the letter i told her that i went to see a girl just for a shoulder to cry on (because my ex wasnt replying to me or picking up my calls) , but the girl showed me a bit of interest but i made it clear in the letter that even though the girl is attractive i do not likr her and its her that i love and want to be with and the reason i went to meet that girl was because i needed company and a shoulder to cry on , my ex text me a day later saying she loves me too much to let me go , and she doesnt wanna see me happy with some one else , but if thats whats going to happen then she cant do nothing about it , i told her that she can because i love her , and then i asked her doesnt she want anything to do with me , she said shes not sure that she will have to meet me , we picked a date and another back up date in case she couldnt make it for the first one , on both occasions she let me down and after that told me to move on and leave her alone , and told me to go meet that girl. Then she blocked me on everything , and then a week later i went to her house to speak to her but her mum said shes not in so i spoke to her mum and said sorry for the things ive done in the past that i have already said sorry for , and i started saying for things i did like a year ago because i didnt know what the problem was and then i told her mum to pass my msg to her and she should give me closure at least ,and i went home , after two weeks and i didnt hear anything from her i wrote her a letter to say goodbye and then two days later i saw her at her workplace while i was shopping and i confronted her but nicely and she was just smerking throughout then after about two minutes she just walked off and said leave me alone and "i will get my manager to kick you out" i said wow you have changed , and i left , am confused becasue shes the one that said to mr she wants to get back and as soon as i gave her that attention back she was gone amd since then shes been mean , and the same day i confronted her at work , i got a msg from her mum on Facebook , saying i should leave hef daughter alone and that i should move on which was about a week ago , do you think i should say sorry for confronting her at work or just leave it be...Am just not happy about the way she treated me ,its like she came back to get her ego stroked and then left me . Maybe she has got new boyfriend i dont know , her mum said she hasnt , that she just wants to move on. but i thinkthe way shes goin on about it is not fair .it could be now that shes finally turned 18 and rather party and go clubbing jnstead of putting up with me .

 

I just feel abandoned and confused , i dont want her back nomore , have spent about a month trying to win her back , its been 3 months since the phonecall incident and its been a month and a week since her biryhday , have just gave up now , but i feel like i tried my best

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You're anger was a reaction to the break up. that's normal.

 

Don't agree on being friends UNTIL you know you are over her. Until then you can't be.. may take a while.

 

YOU have to stop & look at 'controlling' your emotions and STOP letting her get under your skin.

first time... you said nasty thing...

second time... you broke a photo frame & took pic of it to show her? Why? do you think THAT will help???

 

You two are playing the jealousy game and NOT letting go. This is NOT healthy- mentally or emotionally.

You both need to stop these games and 'accept the break up, heal'... give it some time to do this.. BEFORE moving on.

 

She's come back & left again- exactly- this is her 'confusion'. Being hot/cold so much!

 

Yes, time for YOU to back away from her... No- no more contact is required!

 

Whether she has another bf no longer matters. fact is.. is it's time for this to all stop! Be the 'better man' and respect this, no more head games and leave EVERYTHING alone.

 

Like I say.. One day at a time, but time for you to take care of YOU. You two are done, sorry to say. Whatever goes on in her life now- is NO longer your problem.

She has her own life and IS allowed to do as she pleases.

 

Yes, time for you to give in. Sorry for your pains.. we know how it feels.

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If you've apologized then I'd just leave her alone because it's nothing more that you can say to change her mind.

 

If/when she's ready to talk to you; then she will.

Am so worried about leaving last impression , the last impression i gave her was confronting her at her work place , days after i sent a letter saying sorry and goodbye , do you think i need to worry about that or just leave it there as it is

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I know i am not over her , but howcan we go from friends to her pesturing me saying she wants to give us another go then when i finally accept she changes her mind and blocks me off totally . And do you think i should say sorry for confronting her at work or just leave it as it is ? To be honest i do not feel bad for doing it , i just dont wanna look like a psycho , but days before i confronted i already wrote a nice letter saying sorry , goodbye and thankyou

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She broke up with me over something i did , she came back and said she wanted me back , i agree and she them changed her mind and when i eventually asked her , she had no reason but to blame it on the thing "i did" 3 months ago , do you think i need to apologise for confronting her about it at work or should i just leave it

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OP, you are not giving us the whole story.. I'm starting to think you did something foul and that is why she doesn't want anything to do with you.. Anyways, respect her wishes and leave her alone because all you are doing is making yourself look like the crazy ex that won't go away..

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OP, you are not giving us the whole story.. I'm starting to think you did something foul and that is why she doesn't want anything to do with you.. Anyways, respect her wishes and leave her alone because all you are doing is making yourself look like the crazy ex that won't go away..
okay i didnt do nothing foul , no cheating none of that , we just argued a lot and keep falling out , (both stubborn and not willing to say sorry) , but she is my first love and i am hers , if what i did was so foul why did she come back to me asking me to get back with her? Then when i accepted she flew off
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Am so worried about leaving last impression , the last impression i gave her was confronting her at her work place , days after i sent a letter saying sorry and goodbye , do you think i need to worry about that or just leave it there as it is

 

I'd just leave it there because it's left up to her in the end (whether she wants to deal with you or not).

 

If she really has heart for you; she'll find it within her heart to forgive you.

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