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Should I go to the party?


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Hi Everyone


Long time since I've been here. I am going to keep it short! Thanks in advance for helping me out


So one of my best and oldest friends invited me to her mother's birthday on upcoming Sunday. Seems okay right? Well, the issue is that I have had my first real relationship with her nephew. He was my first true love and after a horrible break-up we only met one more time at my friend's birthdayparty. That was very awkward. he ignored me the first hour and after I kind of kept trting to talk to him about.. nothing we kind of engaged in a conversation. Everyone told me he was having a hard time. A few days later I asked him through e-mail whether he wanted to talk things out, so in the future these kind of get-togethers would be less awkward. I stated that it was just pure friendliness and that I wanted to clear things up and just move on. He said that he was very sorry but didn't want to talk things out. Which is a huge step for him. When I replied questioning: "that's a shame. Why not?" I never got any repsonse. That was like he broke up with me again and it got me very sad for two weeks.


However my life is completely different now. I am studying, I am in the board of my fraternity, have many friends and lots of hobbies. But still...


I am very close with my friend's mother and her sister and because we both study at a University on the other side of the country I rarely see them and really miss them. This would be a great oppurtunity to see them again, since I was planning going back to my parents this weekend, who happen to live in a town close to my friend's mother. However, I am afraid that I am not yet over this ex enough to see him again. Although he rarely crosses my mind nowadays I am afraid of the emotions that could overtake me when I see him. I can honestly say that I am not in love with him anymore, but he will always have a special place in my heart. I was very immature when I was in a relationship with him and I realise that we both made mistakes. However, after him I have never had a serious relationship again. I have dated some guys and slept with some one every now and then, but things never got serious and I am a little ashamed of that.


I am afraid that he is going to be there. Even worse, maybe he has a girlfriend that he will bring along. I can't get myself to ask my friend, since I don't want her to know that I am not looking forward seeing her cousin. So what should I do? Ask my friend about who's coming? Just go and tell veryone I don't have much time to stay? Or don't go at all?


Thanks for helping me

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Put on your big girl pants and go --- to honor your friends' mother and your friend.

If he is there, be polite and civil. There is not earthly reason to revisit the past with him. If he has a gf, so what?


You go, you enjoy yourself -- you socialize.


Everyone has a first love that they are no longer with --- and most of those breakups weren't pretty as we were young, and emotional and naive.

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