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Why is it so hard to propose?


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So this might be a long story but I will try to make it quick. Back in 2009 I met a woman and we ended up falling in love. She had 2 children from a past relationship and I fell in love with them also. In 2010 I proposed to her and she seemed really happy. In March of 2011 she broke the hole thing off and hurt me pretty deeply in doing so. It was the weirdest break up ever, she acted like I had never existed and ended up getting married this past summer I believe.

The break up was hard for me to get over. I lost her and the kids when she left and never got to say goodbye to them. I was so shaken that I ended up going to therapy for 3 months just wanting to talk to a pro about everything. She helped me a lot and I was able to understand that she wasn't "the one" and had the rest of my life to find her.

In December of 2011 I started dating again. I felt reborn and like I had a second chance to really find the woman I am meant to be with. That is when I met Becky. I had never met anyone that I could relate to as much as her. She is a big sports fan which I am as well. She comes from a hunting family which I do as well and she even lived just 1 mile for where I work. I took things really slow with her but before long I was in love again. I still had some demons from my last relationship but slowly they disappeared.

It's now been 2 years that me and becky have been dating and I know she wants a ring for christmas. I too am at a place where I am really thinking about it. I am 34 and she is 27. I want to get married and I want a family with her but it is REALLY hard to bring myself to ask her to marry me. I know I am ready and I know that 2 years is about right for us to get engaged. She is the one for me I am sure. I just can't shake this panic feeling.

I guess my questions and need for advice is this: Why is it so hard to purpose? Am I just worried she will leave me like my last fiance did? Or something else? Anyone else ever deal with this? I would love some advice. Thanks for reading.

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Maybe consider going back to a counselor to work through some of your fears. Being left again is an obvious one but maybe there is more to it.


I would also suggest thinking about what life would be like without her if she felt like your fears were holding you both back and she left. Then visualize what married life would be like with her.

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