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In a FWB thing.. Cannot stop thinking about my ex


Ztw

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I'm sorta seeing someone. More like a friends with benefits thing than a relationship. It's random when we get together & it's only sex. I don't want a relationship & neither does he. I've know him for years. & he just got out of a relationship too.

The problem is I cannot stop thinking about my ex. When I'm with this other guy, I wish it was my ex. The other night I slept with him & his face seriously looked like my ex to me. I had to look away. It's creeping me out. Is this normal? It's been about 8 months since the breakup. We were together 8 years. I've only been with this other guy a few times. My ex did reach out to me a few weeks ago via email but that's it. He left me for another girl. I'm trying so hard to move forward. No matter what I do I think about my ex. I thought seeing someone else would help but it's actually making me feel guilty...Seriously what's my problem?..

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You haven't allowed yourself the time to heal before turning over a new leaf. The grief is there, yet you're choosing to ignore it.

 

I'm not ignoring it. I've done nothing but feel agonizing pain & heartbreak for 8 months. I seriously can't even cry anymore. I'm tired of feeling this way. Tired of feeling alone & broken. Tired of thinking about someone who dosnt give a dam about me. No matter what I do it's there. Plus this "new leaf" dosnt matter to me in that way. It's like I'm just going through motions to fill a void. I just was asking if it's normal to feel this way.

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Yes, it is normal to feel that way, especially given how long you were together. Eight months is still fairly fresh and you're still grieving the loss and adjusting. Just be kind to yourself, don't try to live by anyone's deadlines or concepts not even your own. We all take our own time and our own way to heal and move past breakups. Alot of times the change or shift in attitude and mood is ore subtle and the hurt just sort o fades out rather than any huge ah-hah moment.

 

Give yourself time, seek out things that bring you pleasure and if need be take up something like keeping a journal or talking to a trust individual. These all help.

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