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VKimmyV

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Hi all, I've just recently gone through a break up with a girl I love so much. She knew always how to touch my heart in the right way. We both talked about the future we would have together and it did seem like she loved me. She did so much for me, our parents both hated how we loved eachother but we didn't care. We'd always call and video chat each other; she lived in Washington State while me in New York City.She told me she doesn't love me the same anymore a few days ago. I already accepted that she doesn't however she still remains my friend. I want her back so badly, I don't know what I should do. Can anyone give me some advice?

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To get her back? There is nothing you can do. It's up to her. The best thing to DO, however, is to go No-Contact. ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT...

 

If you want her back this is your best chance. Because this way she will miss you...But NC is so you can move on. If you stay in touch with her you'll only hurt yourself more. If you really accepted things, start NC and move on.

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I always here about the no contact rule but what is it suppose to accomplish? How long am I suppose to wait?

 

To get her back? There is nothing you can do. It's up to her. The best thing to DO, however, is to go No-Contact. ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT...

 

If you want her back this is your best chance. Because this way she will miss you...But NC is so you can move on. If you stay in touch with her you'll only hurt yourself more. If you really accepted things, start NC and move on.

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It doesn't accomplish really anything but gives you what you most surely need but don't ever realize that you need: perspective.

 

A new way of seeing things. Evaluating yourself, her and your future. The added benefit is that yes, she may miss you and come back to you because she gains perspective as well.

 

Sadly, it's hard as everybody, myself included, succumb and break the NC rule and often makes things worse. Trust in NC.

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I really hope she does miss me enough to come back. She said she still loves me however not on the scale she use to; more of a friend. I hope that it'll bud into something more. Should I try not to talk to her for a while then?

 

It doesn't accomplish really anything but gives you what you most surely need but don't ever realize that you need: perspective.

 

A new way of seeing things. Evaluating yourself, her and your future. The added benefit is that yes, she may miss you and come back to you because she gains perspective as well.

 

Sadly, it's hard as everybody, myself included, succumb and break the NC rule and often makes things worse. Trust in NC.

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I am exactly at a same situation...my gf is in Sweden though (maybe better to say ex!)...I have been on the NC for almost 15 days; but I was asking about her feelings through her close friend who I know her as well...She loves me, but not on the scale she used to...it is exactly similar to your ex's feeling

I deeply want to have her back, but after reading so many threads here, I believe the NC is a must for we both...doing NC gives you a chance to build yourself mentally...although my ex told me about the break up and we did not have talked for almost 15 days, but she is not sure yet to have it as her final decision...This is something I found out through the her close friend...I am trying to go to Sweden, not for pleading,...but just to say to her that you are that important to me that I have missed everything to come here to be with you...however, I am trying to find a job over there, but I am sure I would not have the same situation I have here till maybe next few years over there!!!

as a summary, go with the NC...keep in touch...and think about the reasons that lead to this break up...I know I have a very low chance of having my ex back, but I make this risk, just bc I believe our love is unique and I will never ever find the same love with anyone else...so, I said with myself, why I do not make the final attempt...if it works, if we get back together, my life would be brilliant...otherwise, I never blame myself that why I did not go there etc...I will have a new job there and make my future...

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I always here about the no contact rule but what is it suppose to accomplish? How long am I suppose to wait?

 

What it accomplishes? You get to move on. You're not supposed to be hopeful right now. She broke up with you. The best thing to do for your own sanity is to give up and move on.

 

There is a slight chance that she will miss you enough to want to get back. But it's rare. Very rare. So don't hold your breath. Move on...

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I really hope she does miss me enough to come back. She said she still loves me however not on the scale she use to; more of a friend. I hope that it'll bud into something more. Should I try not to talk to her for a while then?

 

No, don't agree to be friendzoned in hopes it'll turn into more. That hardly ever happens -- like, never.

 

Once her feelings have changed, your best course of action is to disappear from her world while you try and accept that what you had is over. In time, you'll either come to accept the breakup and heal from it, or she'll change her mind and want to get back together. Usually, they don't change their mind, though -- so it's best to proceed as if that's not going to happen.

 

Here's a guide that will explain a bit more about going No Contact: link removed

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Man, that's rough... I'm sorry to hear that; best of luck to you. It hurts a lot, I know; specially when you think you've found the perfect one. The one you want to spend your whole life with. Sometimes they tell you forever but sometimes 'forever' lasts only a few seconds. I understand your feelings...

And to everyone,

Thank you for all your help, I will hope for the best. I hope one day she'll love me again for now, I should try my best to give up on her and move on. It's probably for the best.

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