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Can I sort this out?


Emjane123

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Basically I haven't talked to my two ex bestfriends for over a year! Let me start from the beginning...

It was the summer holidays just before me and my best friends were going into year 10 and I had been invited to see one direction with one of them.. In the summer they both went on holiday and I had kept in contact with one of them but the other one I didn't .. I then found out at the end of the summer when I stayed round the girls house who I had been in contact with , that my other friends family friend had passed away . I was being very supportive to her and asked if she wanted some time alone . She said yes so I kept to that .. A few days before school started I invited the girl I had kept in contact with round to sleepover as a way to repay her . My other friend found out and got annoyed at me for not inviting her.

I thought she wanted to be alone because she had only just lost someone very close to her and I've never experienced bereavement myself so I didn't know the best way to help her through it. During that sleepover I could see in the corner of my eye that they were both bit&@ing about me and it really crushed me to pieces .. I apologised to her for not inviting her and she said it was okay so I assumed it was okay.

When school started, I noticed that both of their attitudes had changed towards me . And so I tried my absolute hardest to make things better.

Unfortunately things didn't work. They took a turn for the worst. I started to feel like one of the two most important people in my life were fading away and there was nothing I could do.

I began to get depressed and started having panic attacks in and out of school. The one direction ticket was taken away from me and I wasn't so much fussed about that it was the fact that they both didn't spend time with me in and out of school and even on my birthday. Even though I got a really lovely card off of one of them . A few more weeks passed and the friend that was presumably still my friend said she was worried about me. I told her ever since the argument it feels like they both have been treating me differently. According to them I turned into a bi@ch and that they no longer wanted to be friends with me.. This was the breaking point for me. They were near enough the two only genuine friends I had and without them I was on my own. I couldn't concentrate on my school work which then affected my grades which were awful.

Also other people started to act differently towards me too. I started getting paranoid about people talking about me and I was literally scared that something bad was going to happen to me. The

One thing that made me realise I needed help was when an innocent young 11 year old was staring at me and I screamed in her face wanting to know whT she was staring at .. I was with one of my ex best mates and she was laughing at me like I was some sort of physco.. I also wanted to avoid busy areas because I was scared like 24/7 that people were saying things about me . I always cried every night for at least 2 months .

My mum took me to counciling I was literally to the point where I wanted to end my life which I hate to admit because of how differently I think about it all now but after a few sessions I started to gain confidence in myself again and I went on a trip to France with school where I rekindled my friendships with people I was in primary school with the thing is ever since me and my ex friends fell out we haven't spoken at all since then and that was nearly a year and a half ago .. I've been able tolerate them since there in most of my lessons but now that I think back all I feel is anger and hurt from what they did by turning people against me and if I'm honest if all of that hadn't of happened then I wouldn't be the strong person I am today .. The only reason I want to sort it out is because their friends are my friends and it's very awkward having to be at least 3 yards away from them let alone in the same room.. Is there any point in trying to talk to them ? I don't want to hold a grudge but they never gave me a valid reason as to why we stopped being friends .

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There's certainly a possibility this can be sorted out. Does one of them seem more open or like they'd be more willing to talk w/ you? If so, you could approach her and just ask to talk. Let her know you'd like to be friends again, you miss what you had and see what she says. It never hurts to try. They may want to be friends again too but now that it's been so long they aren't sure how to go about doing it.

 

I'm really glad you rekindled friendships so you aren't alone. i'm also impressed you have recognized how it's made you stronger as a person and that you've grown from this painful experience.

 

I don't think it would hurt to give it a try. Best of luck!

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Thank you.. And no they don't seem like there willing because ever since we haven't been friends they have been very horrible I suppose . Childish but I get evils off of them and I hear they talk about me behind my back . I don't ever want to be friends with them again but I feel like I have to for our friends sakes

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Well you don't have to be friends with them if you don't want to. It sounds like they still aren't being very nice. Although it's uncomfortable, you've gotten along w/ having mutual friends this long so it's possible. Perhaps over time it'll get easier and they'll get less nasty.

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