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She wants me back after she cheated on me and we broke up.


Xin

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This girl cheated on me with her ex and we broke up. She had been living with him, I had enough of this BS so I cut it off and it has been a month now. The whole situation beforehand was stupid, but to say the least, you could say she was having 2 guys around, and I dealt with it because I tried to be understanding. She had some crazy reasons for staying with him, but they were irrational and stupid reasons. In the end I just say screw it and went off to do my own things.

 

In the month I have been away and out of contact, minding my own business and keeping things low key, she has approached my apartment over 10 times, rang the doorbell enough times that I almost wanted to call the cops to make her leave, had all of her friends contact me and they all told me she misses me and loves me, posted a bunch of stuff on her FB about me, went drinking and cried like a hundred times with her friends (that are also my friends), stalked me, and I'm even in contact with her mom who also asked me to be with her. She showed up my parent's house, my apartment, asking where I am. She got IN to my apartment and talked to my roommates when I wasn't there. She's tried calling and texting. Her friends have been trying to contact me and asking me to "understand". I have been staying away, and almost zero contact besides the constant pressure from everyone that is telling me she misses me.

 

Seriously, I would be in denial if I said I didn't have feelings for her still, but I already have trust issues with people that have never done anything behind my back, so I am not sure what to do. I could easily go get another girl and smother it in her face if I want. Not only the next day I met up with a girl that I hadn't seen in a while (by chance since we were getting off the bus) and we talked for like an hour and it was really great. Unfortunately I still care about the girl I just broke up with so I don't want to do that. I'm not really sure what I should do. Right now I'm just staying away because it still hurts and I have negative feelings, and I feel a lot better when I stay around my friends or the long list of girls who I've known for a while.

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So this girl was actually cheating on you? Well, to be fair, she was actually cheating on her ex because she never gave him up like she said she had (which I think was obvious anyway).

 

Is she still with him?

 

Now you say her friends are calling you? I thought her friends were going to have nothing to do with her if she gave up her boyfriend/ex/whatever he was for you! That was one of her excuses for not giving him up but stringing you along at the same time.

 

You said may times this girl was unstable and some of the things she said certainly showed that she was. I would continue to stay away from her because, amongst other things, it seems she has fed you a lot of lies. She would have lied to him too. She is not to be trusted.

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So this girl was actually cheating on you? Well, to be fair, she was actually cheating on her ex because she never gave him up like she said she had (which I think was obvious anyway).

 

It is really all confusing in the first place so I don't even know. Even if she knows what she is doing is wrong, she is not the type to admit she is wrong to anyone. I'm pretty sure she'll figure out since she likes to talk so much about how she's been suffering for the past half decade... Gee I wonder why.

 

Is she still with him?

 

I don't know, not really concerned. If she starts telling me she loves me and misses me (which she has, and her friends have) then I might get pissed off because no one who seriously does would do something like that. But as far as I know, she has been staying at one of her friend's house (a guy who is her best friend that I know as well) but I'm not really concerned about him because he is a manlet (like 5 foot 4) and he's been friendzoned for the past 2 years. Although every night he messages me (or is she using his account?) because she apparently gets drunk every night and cries and gets pissed off and wonders why everything is going wrong when... I wonder who was doing things wrong? Of course she won't admit it to him or anyone. But he keeps asking me to meet up with her and I'm like.. uhh no.

 

Now you say her friends are calling you? I thought her friends were going to have nothing to do with her if she gave up her boyfriend/ex/whatever he was for you! That was one of her excuses for not giving him up but stringing you along at the same time.

 

There were two groups of friends remember? There's the ones that are in this state from her country. They hate my guts. I don't really like them either, but I don't really know them. Then there are her friends that live back in her home country, and in other states, as well as her "American" friends.

 

Basically there's multiple groups and they all think/know/feel different things. Her friends in her country/other states is one group. Then her friends in this state that are from her country. Then her American friends. Then me. Then her. We all know different things and I guess you could say that is twisted and manipulative because she tells different groups different things as it would work according to her favor.

 

You said may times this girl was unstable and some of the things she said certainly showed that she was. I would continue to stay away from her because, amongst other things, it seems she has fed you a lot of lies. She would have lied to him too. She is not to be trusted.

 

I don't trust people easily in the first place but why does she keep on trying to see me when I've made it clear I want to be alone right now? Like I said once, I live 40 miles away from her, and she came and stayed outside my apartment for 4 hours. That among all the other things I mentioned, she is even talking to me friends and asking me where I am. Well, I don't want to be cocky and say that I'm pretty good to the girls I am with, but I am starting to wonder if she is obsessed with me or something.

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Well you certainly seemed to have wisened up to her.

 

The reason things keep going wrong for her is because she lies and manipulates people to suit her needs. It is bound to catch up with her eventually.

 

From what you have said it seems to me this is more about her getting her own way for her own benefit than anything else. Life with her would be full of drama.

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Send her a text telling her to get out of your life. Make it clear its over and then ignore her.

 

dont go looking for a replacement so soon. Work on your trust issues, take the time to get over her and then move on. No point hurting someone else to ease your pain-that is selfish

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Send her a text telling her to get out of your life. Make it clear its over and then ignore her.

 

dont go looking for a replacement so soon. Work on your trust issues, take the time to get over her and then move on. No point hurting someone else to ease your pain-that is selfish

 

agreed.

she is a liar, a cheater AND she is stalking you now.

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Whoa, she's done enough that you could and probably should start documenting all the stalking incidents then file a complaint with the police. Or just send it all to the guy she's currently with, that'd probably get her to back off really fast. The woman is mental and upset that you won't play her little game of two guys fighting over her any more.

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