Does he think I'm desperate?should I back off?

[Emjane123]

I met this really nice guy about 2 weeks ago and straight away we got on. We had a phone call one night, that lasted for hours and we were on about the films we'd like to see. I said that I'd like to watch a film out in the cinema and he suggested that us 'Besties' should go watch it together. We saw it and he was flirting outrageously with me and by the end of the night we kissed. He did seem like he was coming on way to strong and my friends have heard things about him, which has given him a bad reputation but I'm one of those people who doesn't judge a book by it's cover so I didn't care what they had to say. The problem is ever since then I've text him at least 3 times and a few times he said he was working. But the last time I text him I asked him if he was bothered about me and that I don't like to be messed about .. His reply was very blunt saying that every time I've popped up he said he's been working which is true but I'm confused as to why he hasn't text me back yet. He kissed me so surely he's interested?Im annoyed at myself because I feel like I'm acting desperate and that I've completely turned him off? What should I do?

[mhowe]

You are acting desperate. If you text someone, wait for them to reply before texting back.

And asking if you bothered him --- sounds insecure. Which it is --- you don't like to be "messed about". You have known him 2 weeks, had a date/movie and

a kiss.

 

Back it down and wait for him to reply. Many people cannot text while at work.

[Emjane123]

Thank you what should I do if he doesn't text back? I really like him and I feel like If I hadn't of texted him first .. He would at least be thinking /wondering about me.

[savignon]

Not judging a book by its cover is one thing....not judging someone based on their reputation can be unwise. I think you're coming off a little desperate and given what you've probably heard, he's just being who he is...someone that runs hot/cold/ plays around/whatever.

Telling someone you don't like being messed with isn't as effective as taking yourself out of the equation so that you don't get messed with.

[Emjane123]

Yes that may be true but he was only like that in his teen years and he's near enough an adult now. Could this lead to a relationship or shall I just remain friends with him or completely stop talking to him altogether ?

[mhowe]

It's been a week. Wait to hear from him

[Emjane123]

Okay and if he doesn't reply then he's not interested right? When does a guy usually text back?

[DancingFool]

You will never have to chase a guy who is actually interested in you. I don't care how busy he is, how long his hours are, etc. he'll find a way to reach out to you, BUT you need to give him that opportunity. Right now you just seem desperate and insecure and chasing hard someone who is not that into you. Couple of things - many workplaces are banning cell phones at work, precisely because of all the texting nonsense that is going on with people. No employer is paying money for people to sit around texting all day. Two, kissing, even sex within a date or two means absolutely nothing. It's too early for that to mean anything at all other than having some fun and satisfying a craving.

 

Nobody has a crystal ball as to what will happen between you and him in the future. One thing for certain, is stop contacting him. He knows how to reach you if he wants and if he is not reaching you, he is not that into you.

[savignon]

Yes that may be true but he was only like that in his teen years and he's near enough an adult now. Could this lead to a relationship or shall I just remain friends with him or completely stop talking to him altogether ?

 

How old is he?

It sounds like you're leaving it up to him to decide if he wants to date/be friends/not talk at all. Just keep living your life and you'll see if he wants to be a part of it. I agree that a guy who really likes you will make it more than obvious and there won't be any guessing involved. No amount of "busy" keeps a guy away when he's really into you.

[KarenC]

I think that he's giving you the silent and ignore treatment for a reason...Pay attention!!!

[Emjane123]

he's 17 which is nearly classed as an adult I suppose. He goes to college and works most week ends.

[Emjane123]

Pay attention?

[savignon]

17!? You said his bad rap is from his "teens"...he's still a teen.

Anyways, it sounds like he's not all that interested. I'd keep your options open for other people.

[Emjane123]

Okay thanks for your help..my new motto ; all boys are pri*#ks until they prove me wrong

[mhowe]

As teenage boys can be pretty flake, I would say that motto.ought to keep you single for.a while.

[savignon]

Teenage boys (and some adult men) have the attention span of a fruit fly. I'm sure he enjoyed the date as well...and then went on to another enjoyable date/flirt and then another and then another.....

[Emjane123]

Haha yes the fruit fly thing I can definitely agree with that .. I understand boys will be boys .. And I know I'm young and I've got my whole life ahead of me so I guess I shouldn't feel obligated to be in a relationship now especially as I'm in the most important year of my education.

[DancingFool]

Haha yes the fruit fly thing I can definitely agree with that .. I understand boys will be boys .. And I know I'm young and I've got my whole life ahead of me so I guess I shouldn't feel obligated to be in a relationship now especially as I'm in the most important year of my education.

 

Sheesh, don't get bogged down with relationships now. Head to college or wherever you are going, enjoy life a bit and live a little. Discover who you are as an adult. You might be shocked at how many changes will happen rapidly and how many I thought I wanted this but now I realize I want that you'll go through in rapid succession in the next few years. Embrace, have fun. There will be plenty of boys down the road for relationships. Make sure you live a little first though.

[Emjane123]

Yes okay it just sucks a little because many of my friends are always asked on dates or are in a relationship .. Seems like I'm the only one who's missing out.

[mhowe]

At 17...you're not missing out on much.