Jump to content

I need Help...


Recommended Posts

Hi. I'm 26 years old. Male.

And I'm dealing with some serious spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental issues.

 

It all started 4 years ago when i decided to take a drug for hairloss.. I was 22 .. I took a drug called propecia.. needless to say not only did it not stop my hair from falling out.. but it crashed my endocrine system and caused all sorts of life destroying symptoms...

 

My body no longer feels like my body.. My life doesn't seem real.

I cannot experience joy or any deep emotions very well.

My penis and testicles suffer severe damage due to the drug and sex no longer feels the same as it used to.

Man... i won't even go into all the symptoms because its just brutal... I've suffered for 4 years now numb to life.

 

My girlfriend left me during this time.. man since i can't feel my body and don't feel real i havent been able to emotionally release it all and im stuck in a cycle of missing her and loving her. its been 2 years since we broke up and to tell her all of this now just seems wrong... i have all these feelings for her repressed and stuck in my body.. And my self esteem is barely here.. id be embarassed to even see her... i feel lost and ed up and not myself..

 

I feel like i have no point in being here.. I have people in my life that are here for me.. but i just dont feel anything towards them.. I've turned into a borderline alcoholic to avoid myself even farther... I can't believe this is me and my life now... I had an amazing girlfriend.. was finishing my career training as a paramedic.. things were moving.. and now its all upside down and surreal.

 

And to make matters worse... My third eye opened up and psyche expanded during this mess so now i get all of these psychic occurences and spirits coming to me and messing with me... and since my heart is so blocked i can't deal with it. It's just brutal.. I feel like a borderline schizophrenic.

 

Any advice or encouraging words would be much apreciated.. I just want to be my normal motivated healthy self again..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

link removed

 

Nonprofit group specifically for people who have had issues with propecia that persisted after discontinued use.

 

They may have support groups as well as information, there were a lot of links I didn't have time to go through. They do have a discussion forum on the site as well as study recruitment and class action information.

 

I do wish you luck - maybe they can refer you to a doctor more familiar as well who can suggest some things to ease some of the problems associated with the drug.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your energy to help. I'm well aware the site and am already part of the class action. Doesn't change a thing. I'm still where I am regardless of any monetary gain. Yes there are many other men decimated as well.. I've read their stories and can relate.. sorry if I seem egotistical. I just feel so stuck, defeated, betrayed, and fed up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is a saying I live by, "when one wants help bad enough, they will find it. Sometimes in unusual places." In the early 90's, I was so in a deep dark pit. I had taken a new job as a supervisor, working for the state of NY. I was in my mid 20's, very young to be in that job as far as others were concerned, and I myself was not very mature, was very naïve about how I should be. While this situation is very different from yours, what happened to me put me in a similar place. My behavior, my way of thinking, my non-social personality, all clashed with the "who I needed to be." I failed and failed, I lost a lot of respect, and I considered quitting. I felt something was very wrong with me, so I decided to take a new direction. I began to study books on witchcraft, and I drank it all in. What I learned about was how to strengthen my "will" into a tool that could be used to fix things. So many areas of my life were in shambles, self-esteem right up there on the list, it was overwhelming. The easy thing to do would have been to quit, and just go on medication, chalk it all up to mental illness. Instead, I stayed on the job. I decided to fix the fixable, take myself, my whole life and compartmentalize everything. I kept a log book, and wrote everything down, all the tools I created, and the trial and error with them. As much as possible, I withdrew from everything and everyone, with the idea I was "resetting" things. At work, my withdraw was to "shut up and work" - dismiss the fact I had lost respect, and work these changes out, using trial and error, NO MATTER WHAT. This work took me ten years, and in the end I have reclaimed respect of myself, and of others. I am not the man I used to be, and I am truly thankful to be in this place in life.

 

Back to "the system" - in witchcraft I took some of the things I read that fit, and discarded the rest. I created a formula; will + faith + purpose = power. Power redefined itself for me in this "personal reform" to be "the ability to cause changes to happen at will" - not to be redundant but Will is the key to it all. Faith is the confidence in that ability, and in the beginning, I had almost zero faith. But faith grows with each success. I started with little areas that were easy to fix, such as telling the truth. I used to lie a lot to cover for myself. Lying does so much personal damage, that even if you get away with it, you don't. So I started telling the truth, "no matter what." I began to pay attention to my thought life, and my mouth. I stopped talking negatively, withdrew from all gossip, even in private I stopped talking negatively. When we speak negatively, it affects us just like lying does...it takes away confidence, it takes away personal faith.

 

All that work has made me a secure, trusted, and confident man. I am still on that same job, 23 years later, with even greater responsibilities and greater trust and confidence. I trust myself.

 

All this talk about me, is to share with you that I know what it's like to feel trapped in your own personal swamp, quicksand. All those "spirits" who are bothering you, probably are doing so because you are weak. Dismiss them, resist them, and they will leave you alone. Set yourself a course of change, stop agonizing over your lost girlfriend, and start worrying about fixing yourself.

 

Fix the within, and you'll fix the without. Just another saying I learned along the way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...