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Opinions wanted: Can someone love two people at once?


anjel737

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Is it possible for a guy to actually love two people at the same time? I don't think it is possible as I've never been able to have strong feelings for anyone when I already had them for someone else, but maybe guys are different? So, what do you think; is it possible or does the guy not truly love the first person and therefore was able to fall in love with the second person?

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um, i think it is possible for example if a man was in a polygamist relationship and had multiple partners he could love them both. I know i have always loved multiple things as well, like my dog, my mom, etc. I think the question you're asking is if a man like equally distribute his love over two people and the answer is no. There are only 24 hours in a day so unless he is equally spending time with both those individuals then i suppose he can't equally love both people.

 

Also, i think you are trying to compare men to women and i think that's okay but the problem is your comparison, its based on your own experiences which i feel may be limited. For example, have you ever had multiple partners or been in an open relationship? Just because you can't love two people doesn't mean that other females can't as well. This question really has nothing to do with whether a man or woman can love multiple people does it?

 

Maybe some more details are important as this is very vague.

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I'm not necessarily comparing men and women but as a woman, I only have my own experiences to rely on (so yes I am very limited that's why I decided to post on here to get a more comprehensive idea of the matter). To be more specific, I have only ever loved one person and over the years I have never been able to fall in love with anyone else and I believe it is because I still love this person. He has claimed to have loved women other than me over the years and he recently broke up with a person he loves and tells me he loves me and wants to be with me again (we have been off and on for a very long time). I just wonder if he really does loves me because I just don't understand how someone can love another fully if they also love someone else. I don't understand how he could fall in love with her in the first place if he truly loved me. I wonder if this is just a phenomenon I experience (not being able to love someone when I already love someone else). Hopefully this clarifies things a bit.

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I'm sure it's possible. For me it's not the same kind of love though. Like delacrank was saying, you love many people, family, friends, but the romantic kind of love is different. I love my children differently than I love my parents. I love my ex-boyfriend differently than I love my current boyfriend. I have told my ex-boyfriend that I love him since we've broken up but it's not the same kind of love and I have no desire to be in a romantic relationship with him again. I just love him for who he is and what we had together. Maybe it's something like for him, too? I personally don't know anyone who's been in love w/ more than one person romantically at the same time. I'm not saying it isn't possible but maybe it's different feelings of love for different people.

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He has claimed to have loved women other than me over the years and he recently broke up with a person he loves and tells me he loves me and wants to be with me again (we have been off and on for a very long time).

 

This is simple and more to the point. The answer is short, he may have loved you as a friend or as much as he could love an ex girlfriend but not as a lover and certainly not as a partner while he was dating this other women. There are different types of love, i think you the love you are trying to get from this man is different from the love which he is describing. It would seem that you wanted him to love you as passionately as he loved this other women, and in truth he did not love you as much as he loved this other women because if that is the case then why did he leave you for her.

 

Love is just a word, it seems as though this guy is just lonely and wants to get back with you because his relationship didn't work out. I think you should not take him back and instead you should just find love in someone else who is more reliable and trustworthy as a partner. Discovering new people and opening your self to new opportunities is a part of growing and taking chances, its scary but you will see that it is also worthwhile in the long run when you find a partner who you can grow with and maybe start a family with one day.

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I don't believe that you can. I've heard statements made over that.

"If you love more than one, you love neither enough"

 

As for loving a pet.. a friend.. a partner? I think that is 'different' kinds of love.

 

I feel IF you do love someone at one point, you cannot love the other one in the proper manner. In regards to 'relationships' you DO need to go in 'whole hearted'. IF you are still pining over an ex, then you aren't into this other 'new' relationship properly at all.

This is why it is often stated you NEED to be able to 'let go' of the last one, in order to be able to 'move on' in a healthy manner. Mentally/physically and emotionally.

If you're still hanging on to the other relationship, that is not fair for yourself or new partner. That could lead to some more serious damage to you both. (you and new one).

 

Love.. comes from deep, within. Love is giving your FULL attention to someone. Giving, caring, sharing, trusting, respecting, communicating and wanting to be with them.. always and no one else.

 

I feel many out there today, do not understand what love is, nor do they know how to express it. There just seems to be way too many issues & obstacles in the way. They 'rush' things way too fast, bringing all to a head and then falling again.

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Is it possible for a guy to actually love two people at the same time? I don't think it is possible as I've never been able to have strong feelings for anyone when I already had them for someone else, but maybe guys are different? So, what do you think; is it possible or does the guy not truly love the first person and therefore was able to fall in love with the second person?
Yes, it is possible. You can love someone romantically and another platonically, and/or you can have strong emotional feelings and affection akin to love for more than one person. Entirely possible and I can relate and have been in such a situation.
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Yeah, I think that is being rather fast n' loose with the phrase " I love you".

 

What you are talking about is the kind of love that is whole hearted and devoted and committed. That has been what you have felt towards him and have chosen to give him - even while he has been with someone else.

 

Has he returned it? No.

 

So when he is saying "I love you" , it means something very different than when you say it.

 

You don't need to figure it out but just know that he doesn't love you the way you are wanting him to.

 

I think you should let him go.

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