Doubt if I will ever find someone

[Reflective82]

What about online dating, work? U should try and go out to some bars. Men don't definitely all want a barbie. What about appearance- are you well groomed, in shape?

[Silverspring]

While physical attractiveness is definitely important, I think dating and finding mutual attraction is just plain HARD! I happen to be on the slimmer side and have other friends in their 30s who are also slim, or friends who are in their 20s and have youth on their side. However, we ALL suffer through the same dating issues. It's hard to attract men we find attractive, who are also decent and in the right frame of mind (looking for a relationship). But I do see that once they find that one right guy....things just work out. I live in a pretty large city and most of my friends found their boyfriends online, I might add. Some of them really put themselves out there by going out every night, joining sports leagues, etc. but they all ended up finding guys online lol.

[mfan]

Hi! it sounds like you're doing what you can, and that's good. I admire your courage to eat solo at restaurants, because a lot of people would feel "afraid" to when they shouldn't. The online dating experience is a challenge, and most of the challenge is weeding out all the people who are inappropriate for you. And there's lots of reasons people are inappropriate. It doesn't even matter if it's because their statistics aren't what you want or because your statistics aren't what they want -- bottom line, X% will be potential dates for you and Y % won't be. Usually X is about 1% and Y is about 99% on dating sites. This is why I use several dating sites at the same time. It "drastically" increases the odds from 1% to 3%. Online dating is annoying, but it's a good portal to keep open. I do want to wish you the best, and definitely keep going to meetup groups and other places where there are people. One thing: you mentioned you go to the gym every day. I hope you don't spend too much time at the gym, because that's a solo activity that doesn't provide a chance to meet people, and so unless it truly makes you happy or truly increases your confidence, I'm worried it could be time better spent looking for other social opportunities. Best of luck.

[Kendahke]

Plan something that you've never done before in life and let yourself get wrapped up in doing that. If it's taking sky diving, going to the other side of the world, learning to cook a particular kind of cuisine-- think of something that you've always wanted to do with your life and make a plan to accomplish it. In the energy and excitement of executing this plan, the energy you give off will be attractive and the people with whom you will become involved during the planning of this and the doing of it will put you in a different pool of people that you otherwise would never have met. Being grateful for the journey can bring about the kinds of people you want to be around.

 

If all you do is sit around waiting for the perfect guy to land in your lap, then you're going to be alone for a long, long time to come.

 

It may just be that right now, you're not going to attract the right kind of guy to you because of the energy/vibe you're giving off. The perfect guy for you may just so happen to have a child, but he wants to make room in his life and heart for you.

 

If you can't bend, you will break.

[GaiaGoddess]

I can't believe how many of you are making a big deal of extra 20 pounds! It isn't like she is obese. I have ALWAYS been between 110 and 120 pounds and I still can't attract a relationship and i'm 41!

[LoveSoDeep]

I can't believe how many of you are making a big deal of extra 20 pounds! It isn't like she is obese. I have ALWAYS been between 110 and 120 pounds and I still can't attract a relationship and i'm 41!

 

The OP said she needed to lose 20 pounds...if she thinks she does then that's her choice. We didn't just pick that number out of the air.On some people 20 pounds isn't a big deal (especially taller people). On my frame 20 pounds is equal to at least 5 dress sizes. It also depends on how you carry it...some people look great with 20 extra pounds but those people love the way they look and if the OP is saying she needs to lose those 20 pounds then she's not happy with her current weight....weather it's 5 pounds or 50 the only person that matters is the one who steps on the scale or looks in the mirror every day. and in this case that person wants to lose 20 pounds. So unless she has an eating disorder I say go for it....whatever makes her happiest....that's all I think those of us who say losing weight helps were saying.