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How to attract a good partner?


meowmix88

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My dating history is full of people who put me down or did not treat me well. I am trying to be my best self and do hope that I will meet someone who treats me how I deserve to be treated. This is hard because lately I have found more of the same: people who do not value me or think I am good enough for them.

 

I treat myself better now, but how do you get someone to see your worth? Could it be that I am not compatible to have a partner? What makes a person loveable?

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I think that's a very broad question so it's hard to answer. You might want to look at where you are going to meet people or how you are meeting people. I don't think that you are "not compatible to have a partner" -it sounds like you're working very hard on self-improvement -good for you!

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I do not believe that there is necessarily a way to attract a good partner, but I do feel that there is a way of knowing if a person has the potential to be a good partner.

 

If a man does not value you or thinks they are too good for you, that simply means that they were willing to settle for a person who does not necessarily meet their criteria for a good partner. The idea of a perfect partner is subjective, and you being the wrong person for a specific man does not make you any less of a person.

 

I would say that the entire idea of confidence being a turn-on for women stems from the fact that confidence is a result of being sure. Look for confidence in your future partners. By this, I do not mean to say that your man has to be sure of himself in every single aspect of life. What matters is that he is confident that you are compatible with him. If, in his mind, he is sure that you are perfect for him, then you are perfect for him.

 

Don't play mind games with your man, and do not get carried away with signs, but observe how accepting he is of your expression of self.

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I know it's hard to believe, but this is who you have been attracted to. You're the common denominator.

 

We choose people that mirror our beliefs in ourselves, so when we we have low self esteem, we chose those that treat us poorly and bring drama.

 

Have you assessed your own family history and seen any similarities? Until you get to a healthy place, you will not attract the same. You need to believe that you truly deserve better!

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What matters is that he is confident that you are compatible with him. If, in his mind, he is sure that you are perfect for him, then you are perfect for him... observe how accepting he is of your expression of self.

 

Wow, thank you for this! I never thought of it that way.

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Being positive and seeing/knowing and showing your 'self worth' is important. If you go around in a negative attitude i think others will pick up on it. So keep working on you as you are.

 

I've been trying for the last 25 yrs to have something successful and i've got a cpl of ex's who ended up losers.. to say the least. But i've kept going....

If we do end up with a 'bad' partner, may not always reflect on ourselves. We've just gotten nailed with a negative.

Like in break ups- there's always two sides.

 

What you should try to do re: finding someone of worth is do your best to 'get to know them' by taking longer to study them. Dont just assume this is it! And just jump right into it. As it can take a good while to get to know someone the right way.

 

What makes a person loveable? If there's that click.. that closeness where YOU feel you can be yourself and them the same. It keeps going in positive terms. You have to 'work' on a relationship and many out there today move too fast and then things all fall apart so quickly. They become insecure, neglectful and stop 'giving' or 'reaching out' to that person.

It's a fast paced World.. but doesn't mean relationships have to be that way.

 

Just take your time.. get to know them.. and enjoy them.

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Many who do not believe in their own worth, will ignore red flags and make excuses for losers. It doesn't matter how long you study someone, if you have no boundaries and allow yourself to be mistreated. This is where is comes back to a pattern of dating jerks, one has to look within to understand why they do not deserve better.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sometimes the attraction and love comes quickly, others it can come after a few months of dating someone.

 

If the people you are choosing are not the people you want to be with, maybe choose someone you wouldnt normally consider, you have nothing to lose

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