Can giving misleading information on your profile ever be a good thing....

[Leo78]

Can giving misleading information on your profile ever be a good thing?

Now I've always believed the answer to this would be No.

 

I'm 35 now and my dating history hasn't been that great. I've only been in 3 relationships so far, and the longest I had was 8 months. So as you can imagine my knowledge and confidence is not that great, and have to admit I hate this time of year.

 

I signed up on PoF a few months ago, and so far have had mixed success with it (I'm also on match). On my profile I have correctly stated that my longest relationship was 'less than 1 year'. My friend however had a look on my profile, and he insisted that I change it to '2 years'. I felt annoyed by this and when I asked him why would I want to be dishonest he said 'girls will think there is something wrong with you if you haven't been in a long term relationship by 35.

 

I felt offended by this but realised he may have a point. Would you be put off dating someone in their

mid-30s if they had little dating experience? If so would that be a bit unfair?

[missmarple]

I would wonder about it but if I liked the profile, in general, it wouldn't be a reason for me not to give him a chance.

[savignon]

I would wonder as well...same if you're in your 40s and have never been married. Not b/c I'd think there's something wrong with the guy persay but just that he probably had a short attention span for relationships and wasn't interested in anything long term.

[RachaelRosen]

I don't think you should lie about the longest you have been in a relationship. Those who are specifically picky about being with a man who has had long-term relationship experience over a year will feel duped. The subject will come up at a point, will you continue the lie then? "Oh, yes, like my profile says, over two years."

 

Like missmarple, I would wonder about the little experience but if I liked someone's profile enough it wouldn't be a reason to not give them a chance and check them out.

 

Do you have to list that detail at all on your profile? For that kind of detail, I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving it off the profile itself and letting it come up organically in conversation. Then again, if you're very worried that potential dates will pass you over because of the detail, you could leave it there and weed out the ones who would pass because of it.

 

Regardless, I wouldn't lie.

 

(P.S. People may not necessarily think you have little dating experience, just no long-term relationship experience. The question of if the guy is a "player" would cross my mind.)

[DancingFool]

Why do you even need to state that in your profile? Just an odd thing to bring up on a profile. Also, a year is an ltr. At the end of the day you can't please everyone and you only need to please the woman who is actually right for you. If you pretend to be something you are not, you'll just attract wrong people, which will lead to perpetual relationship failures.

[Clio]

I don't think you should lie. Starting out with a lie is never a good idea. Maybe leave it out if there is that option. If I remember correctly, PoF has plenty of other questions to consider along with that one. Personally, I would wonder about it but if I liked the rest of the profile, I wouldn't let that stop me.

[RachaelRosen]

If you pretend to be something you are not, you'll just attract wrong people, which will lead to perpetual relationship failures.

 

This is so true and something to never forget while dating.

[Leo78]

The reason is because I've never been a confident guy. I was bullied in school and I do want to gain confidence. In fact I've been wanting a proper relationship for over 20 years but never had one. I hate this time of year knowing everyone you know is happy in a relationship except me. So its not so much that I'm not interested. Should I stick with honestly or tell a white lie?

[Leo78]

Ok, I will stick with honesty

[ParisPaulette]

No, no, no and no. Please don't do that. When I used online dating I absolutely hated it when people did that, because it was just so silly. You're trying to attract people to the real you remember, not who you think they want you to be. If the whole relationship thing bugs you just don't put it on there to begin with. I never answered half the questions those stupid profile things ask and that one always seemed sort of pointless to me.

[Realitynut]

I remember that question. I was in luck...i had been married for 20 years! Miserable for 19 1/2. lol

 

If i hadn't been married, i would have been broke up! But i have to admit, i was in a 3 yr. relationship by 22.

 

I have looked at guys (50's) and if their relationship status said less than a year...i would pass them by. Something would really be sending out red flags!!! I did think, "what is HIS problem??"

 

But with that being said, I had a cousin who never dated ANYONE...ever..and at 40 met his future wife. She was 41 and living with her mother. They were 'set up' and married and have a darling daughter! He was super smart and shy. They are still married over 10 years later! Plus, he was very good looking, in a nerdy sorta way!

 

So i guess you shouldn't judge a book by his cover...or his dating experience.