Girl keeps making excuses / never texts

[t510]

I could use some reassurance.

 

I had a first date and after the date the girl said she had fun and wanted to go out again. I've asked her out twice now and both times I got excuses like she's out of town or she had to work..she never offers a counter time and never mentions getting together. also, she never texts me first...

 

 

This time I just wrote back and said "it's ok, it's such a busy time of the year"

 

She must make more effort if we are going to go out agian... and I feel like telling her that...

[missmarple]

I wouldn't tell her anything. If she really wanted to go out with you again, she would have offered a counter time, just as you said. I would stop contacting her and move on.

[guynextdoor]

Cut her loose. Remember the saying don't put all of your eggs in one basket man.

[greta96]

I would just say something along the lines of "if your schedule opens up some, drop me a line and we'll figure something out" and let her be. I don't think she sounds all that interested, so just leave the ball in her court, and if she wants to, she knows she can contact you.

[ParisPaulette]

Cut her loose yesterday, she doesn't want to go out with you but just doesn't want to say it. Instead she's just passively going to let you keep chasing in hopes you'll eventually go away. You don't need that, so stop calling/texting/anything and move on to the next one. It's dead in the water when you ask twice and they come up with excuses and don't offer alternatives. People do have crazy busy schedules, but if they want to see you badly enough they work around and make some effort. She doesn't, sorry.

[Thorshammer]

It could be anything, she lost interest, or she gained more interest with another, there wasnt enough interest, or she believes she can be more interested in someone else - or several men at the same time.

 

Who knows... what IS a given is that shes not matching your level of focus and attention. Thats all that needs to be said. Unless she has issues, she should know what impression she is leaving.

[Ms Darcy]

She's not interested. It was only one date. Just keep it moving.

[jjkk]

I would just say something along the lines of "if your schedule opens up some, drop me a line and we'll figure something out" and let her be. I don't think she sounds all that interested, so just leave the ball in her court, and if she wants to, she knows she can contact you.

 

I like this idea. Maybe she is really busy/distracted, who knows. This way you let her know if she is interested she needs to act. I wouldn't contact her again after this, unless you hear from her. It's rough waiting but you'll get your answer and won't have to worry that you dropped the ball.

[wilyone 11]

I agree with basically making it clear that the ball is in her court.

 

Being out of town or having to work are legitimate excuses. Even if I'm interested, I won't necessarily counter-offer because it feels assertive/masculine to me. I would NOT have said I had fun and suggest doing it again at the end of the first date if I wasn't actually interested. Also, I very rarely text first.

 

If you just disappear, she may assume you weren't interested enough and not chase after you even if she is interested.