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Betrayed and heart broken


dark angel9

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I got involved in an intense online relationship 7 months ago. I found out literally few hours ago that he has been going behind my back and doing the same with other women (which we agreed at the start not to do). I dumped him but I feel utterly miserable.

 

Today is my birthday and my parents are throwing me a party they have been planning for a while. All I want to do is curl up in the ball and cry in my room. I don't want to make my parents unhappy so I don't know what to do. Should I cancel the party? Attempt to put on my happy face and go?

 

My eyes are swollen from all the crying

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You dumped him for a darn good reason. I know it hurts but your not the bad guy here. Don't let his horrible actions take away your wonderful day. Your parents and those at the party love you. Be where you are loved. They could also be there to comfort you as well. I know exactly how you feel right now. Your hurt because not only do you feel taken advantage of, you also feel very betrayed. It's understandable. While it will be hard to put on a happy face.... you could benefit from all the hugs and happiness waiting for you... just for you. You need that right now. Go to the party.... you can allow yourself to cry later. It's okay.

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Online relationship? You mean some fantasy with a computer robot you have never met in real life? I think you need to get out more and find a real life bf..

 

Now, was that really necessary to belittle her like that? You can develop real feelings for someone you haven't met yet, and although there are elements missing (the physicality) and it's "not the same" as in person (at least until you meet), it can be a relationship all the same and hurt just as bad.

 

OP, I agree with Skyhop, you let him go for a good reason. I would feel miserable too. I would go to the party and cry later, like suggested.

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When you do the online dating thing, you have to expect this type of situation will arise, regardless if you two met in person or not (but especially if you didn't). The vast majority of those on those sites lie, so always have that in the back of your mind, until someone proves (with actions not words) that they are trustworthy.

 

Having said that, good for you for dumping him!

Go to your party, because you only get one chance to celebrate each birthday, and there will come a time when your parents won't be around to throw you parties...and when that time comes, you'll look back and wish you'd made the most of the time you had with them.

They love you and they have your best interest at heart. That guy was a superficial jerk looking to score and get ego boosts from as many women as he could. I think the choice is clear...go with the people who truly love you and don't give a second thought to an idiot who soon will be just a faint memory. Have a drink, enjoy your party, and don't waste precious time on such unworthy creatures.

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yeah that sucks, however when I read back your threads you have been dating on and off for the past few months with real guys so how is that any different then? you didn't stay exclusive to him either, and rightfully so, the online thing is often not real anyway....

 

We both agreed to be non exclusive in real life until we met (so he was aware of my multidating) in fact I tried to talk him into exclusivity many times but he didn't want to.

 

He wanted us to be "online exclusive" because he didn't want me carrying similar types of relationships with other men. Yet he was doing it behind my back with other women and on the same common interest board we met. We women started talking and that's how it was discovered. I never so much as PM-ed another guy on that board since our agreement.

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We both agreed to be non exclusive in real life until we met (so he was aware of my multidating) in fact I tried to talk him into exclusivity many times but he didn't want to.

 

He wanted us to be "online exclusive" because he didn't want me carrying similar types of relationships with other men. Yet he was doing it behind my back with other women and on the same common interest board we met. We women started talking and that's how it was discovered. I never so much as PM-ed another guy on that board since our agreement.

 

Not a real distinction to me. If you agreed to be non-exclusive in real life, that means he was able to connect with other women. I think you shouldn't have ventured into the "online relationship" path. Focus on someone you can be exclusive with in real life.

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We both agreed to be non exclusive in real life until we met (so he was aware of my multidating) in fact I tried to talk him into exclusivity many times but he didn't want to.

 

He wanted us to be "online exclusive" because he didn't want me carrying similar types of relationships with other men. Yet he was doing it behind my back with other women and on the same common interest board we met. We women started talking and that's how it was discovered. I never so much as PM-ed another guy on that board since our agreement.

Seems a little of to me that both of you could date others in real life but you draw the line at his online communication with other women...

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