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mourning and loneliness


B1OODSHOT

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For the last five months my whole life has been dedicated to band. For any of you who have been in nice marching band would understand how much time goes into it. In this time I stared to bond a lot with my section. There was one guy who I perticularly took an interests to. We had the same music taste, the same interests, and the same goals and ideas. We became quick friends and started to hang out all the time. One evening we were at rehearsal and it was going normal . Everything was fine when we all went home for the night . However, in the morning my heart sank when I walked into the bandhall and saw him crying. Up to that point he was the happiest person I had ever seen. He always had a smile and was making everybody laugh . Later that day he told me that his friend (ex girlfriend) had killed herself . And that they wernt on good terms. It has been about eight weeks since and he is doing a lot better . When she died he opend up to me. He became my best friend and I was determined to help him through. We have gotten so close since then. I also let him in deeper than Ive let anyone else. We both have a lot of scars and hurt that we have been through . Lately he has been the reason I uget up in the morning. But I can't shake this feeling of loneliness . I need someone there for me all the time that I can turn to for everything. I couldn't think of a better person than him. I told him I liked him and he feels the same way . But he is not ready for a relationship and I completely understand. But for me , I can't be alone anymore . My ex boyfriend whom I was still with at the time killed himself about a year ago. I haven't even touched a man since. I need it . And this guy who I have come to love can't do it for me . And even though he means so much to me I can't wait. I am a pretty young lady and I will have no trouble to start dating . But its not what I want. I just need to feel something. I know I won't loose him as I friend if I date other people but I will probably loose any chance of being more than that in the future . I feel like I'm being selfish , but I'm trying to put myself first for once in my life . And I know I'm young (17) but I have been through so much. I know there will be other men but none that can say the things him and I can . The things we've worked through together. For the first time in a long time I'm happy . So is it worth it to wait however long it may take and be lonely to the point of severe depression. Please help me gather my thoughts.

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Do you think that maybe you can do some therapy? I suggest the BOTH of you look into this, as this can 'help' you deal with such traumatic events that has now occurred in both of your lives now.

 

IF you're feeling really down all of the time-to the point of depression. I suggest you go see your doctor and explain yourself and see if they'll give you something for the depression/anxiety etc.

 

You've come a long way.. you're a strong person and have been a good friend for him, whose just lost someone who was very dear to him. Is always nice to have someone in our lives, like that.

Just try NOT to over do it in that sense, as you, yourself are having some issues and you cannot get 'lost' or caught up overly, in HIS issues. Always take care of yourself too!

 

Don't look at ending anything .... keep going as you and I feel if you can get in for some counselling/therapy and one some anti depressants, I think things WILL start to turn around for you in a good way.

Never give up- it's just NOT your time....

 

Think about it.. he needs you and you know you're loved by many.

 

tc

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Lately he has been the reason I get up in the morning.

 

Um, this is troubling to me. Nobody should be the reason another person gets up in the morning. I am seeing some issues with self esteem here, you are letting this guy take too much of a toll on you, I think you should distance yourself until you start feeling better again.

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It's quite strange that you both have exes who have committed suicide. Is it common at school these days?

 

You are 17, I understand the thought that a boy will make you feel better if you are going out with them but it's just wrong. Your self esteem is very low and boys will not fix this, sorry. They could actually make the lonliness a lot worse. I got with my ex because I was lonely, he seemed alright, a bit too into me and overly physical-but I wanted attention, like you. He was very emotionally abusive it turns out and he actually dumped me after all the stuff he put me through-just to hurt me-he knew my brother's death meant I couldn't handle people leaving me and he threatened to leave a couple times then said sorry again and again then he actually did go and I am now on forums about suicide because I wake up everyday and I want to die I feel so alone and heartbroken.

 

So, don't go into relationships because you just want one. You'll end up even more hurt.

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