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Slept with my Ex.......she has a boyfriend, help!


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Ok so my ex moved in with me and another room-mate from college since we all go to the same place for college, but over the summer while she was working abroad she got a boyfriend, and had been trying long distance until a few nights ago, when me and her were at a gig we got back to the hotel room and well one thing lead to another and it was an insane night. I had been with this girl for over 3 years and i clearly still had feelings for her. I asked her the day after that since that had happened that I assumed she was planning on breaking up with her BF, to which she replied "yes, the long distance is just too difficult" It has been over a week and she still has said nothing to him about it and is pretending like it didn't happen (i.e texting him all the time and the odd skype call). Where as I am on the sidelines feeling like if she doesn't tell him soon then I will because he needs to know what happened. I was cheated on before and never ever in my life thought i would be the guy who sleeps with someone else's GF. But the main thing I am conflicted on is to whether or not I tell him if she decides to say nothing because I will not be happy about that one bit at all.

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Wow! What a non sequitur!

 

I don't understand how you made the leap from having a night of good sex to it meaning that she wanted to leave her ex and get back together with you? Apples and oranges. And besides, it's only a matter of time before she would cheat on you to sleep with him.

 

You cheated with her on her boyfriend--was that a fair thing to do to him seeing that you've also been on the receiving end of that level of deceit and treachery?

 

No, it's not your place to say a thing to him. You went into sex with the assumption that her spreading her legs for you meant she wanted you back. Honey, you were just scratching an old itch, that's it. It meant more to you than it did to her, clearly. While you may cause a rift between them, it in no way means she's going to take back up with you and she certainly is not going to appreciate you interfering in her relationship with him. That would be you putting the final nail in the coffin that was your relationship with her.

 

Looks like you're going to have to be unhappy for a while. Leave her alone, get on with you life. Quit driving while looking in the rear view mirror---you've run your esteem into the ditch now and need a winch to get out.

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Where as I am on the sidelines feeling like if she doesn't tell him soon then I will because he needs to know what happened. I was cheated on before and never ever in my life thought i would be the guy who sleeps with someone else's GF. But the main thing I am conflicted on is to whether or not I tell him if she decides to say nothing..

Don't be a Drama King.

 

Here's why this idea with immensely backfire on you:

 

1. You are an ex. Is he really going to believe you with that status?

2. You would be posing a threat than being helpful.

3. What prof do you have to show she cheated with you? Word of mouth from an ex boyfriend... Really?

4. Her relationship with her boyfriend is none of your business. You are just "the other guy that causes drama" if you tell him.

 

No one is going to take you seriously and it only causes drama BECAUSE of your status.

 

I have ratted out my ex about him trying to cheat with me to his ex fiancée and it backfired on me because of my ex status. I 110% guarantee that you are not going to win by running your mouth to him and only just to get sucked in unnecessary drama. Let the guy figure out who she is without you getting involved in the drama. It's his problem, not yours.

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well to be fair it's a lot more complicated than just one night i mean when she moved back 4 months ago to here she wasnt "officially" with him and me and her hooked up a few times and had sex a few times then. I know the girl very well and we were just trying things to see how things would go between us if we just focused on being around each other and having fun, than focusing on a relationship. Then about a month ago we stopped it since she decided she wanted to try things with him. And well then we went to the gig and the hotel room happened..........to be honest I'm not proud of it since yes it was what we both wanted and it was a great night but i do know how it feels to be on the receiving end of it. guess i just gotta back off and expect she will tell him the truth.....

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