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A little confused...help POR FAVOR


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I am condensing this considerably:

 

The ex and I don't speak (no animosity, we've had cordial AND downright friendly conversations since the final separation a few months ago, we just don't speak anymore).

She removed me from facebook (not a problem, I understand we need to heal), though we did still exchange facebook messages, and she sent me the "fluke" message that was meant for someone else (though, given the content of the message, it is believable) weeks ago (I didn't respond).

 

Alright, I randomly get a text from her the other day...week saying that her mom says hi -- that's where I become lost. My question I suppose is three-fold: Why hasn't she told her mom about our breakup/lack of communication; is this some lame way of her reaching for conversation, AND if so...why not just say hello like a normal person? I reiterate, we have had a number of friendly convos since our breakup, there would be no need for that slick stuff.

 

I have no problem with "her mom" or whomever saying hello, but that just clearly shows she is unaware of the situation between me and her daughter -- my ex has not taken the time to inform her...which I find odd.

 

By the way, I did not respond to that aforementioned text message either.

 

Thoughts?

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...she sent me the "fluke" message that was meant for someone else

 

You can easily misdirect a text message. You can't misdirect a facebook message.

 

It wasn't a fluke, it was lazy communication.

 

Alright, I randomly get a text from her the other day...week saying that her mom says hi -- that's where I become lost.

 

Thoughts?

 

More lazy communication. She clearly wants to contact you but this is all she can manage. She may even be bored or at loose ends at the time.

 

It gets you trying to figure out what she wants, but if she wanted more, she'd do what needs doing.

 

Ignore it or call her out on it.

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I would guess she was talking with her mom, your name came up, and her mother asked her to tell you "hello".

 

The two of you seem to have an okay-ish *friendly* boundary established, I would say passing on a casual greeting from her mother -- especially this time of year -- is within those boundaries, no?

 

Why is this message so puzzling to you?

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Well, if *just friends* doesn't work for you OP, that's easy enough to fix! Go No Contact.

 

I guess what confuses me is:

 

My question I suppose is three-fold: Why hasn't she told her mom about our breakup/lack of communication; is this some lame way of her reaching for conversation, AND if so...why not just say hello like a normal person? I reiterate, we have had a number of friendly convos since our breakup, there would be no need for that slick stuff.

 

Because:

 

(a) OP, you're making the ASSUMPTION she didn't tell her mom about the breakup. I'm sure she has, after 3 months. As I said, your name probably came up recently and her mom said to tell you "hi" -- which even after a breakup isn't strange, as your ex probably considers this within the boundaries of your current relationship.

 

(b) I wouldn't assume AT ALL this is her "lame attempt" at communicating. I would just assume her mom said to tell you hi and your ex felt it was harmless to do so.

 

© The fact that she ISN'T just saying "hello like a normal person" should tell you that she's not interested in beginning a dialogue, merely passing on a message from her mom.

 

Again -- given that it's the holidays and you all might've even spent them together last year -- I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibilities that your name came up and her mom asked her daughter to say hi! It's most likely the MOM'S way of saying "no hard feelings, happy holidays."

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Oohhhhh, I'm so confused. It must be my age. It seems to be happening more and more lately.

 

How do you know she hasn't told her mum if you haven't been speaking? Maybe she was telling her at that point.

 

I'm not sure how she can get away with NOT telling her mom or why she wouldn't.

 

I'm also not sure why her mum couldn't text you herself, regardles of whether you are or aren't together.

 

I guess it could be an excuse for contact. She may think you will feel compelled to respond given that it was her mum's message. IDK, it all seems a bit weak to me and not worth worrying too much about. If you have decided not to respond then leave it at that and try not to assume anything from it.

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