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Question: What does it mean when a girl knows how to have fun?


notsomature

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Is it a subjective question? Because there is this one guy who claims he wants or likes a girl who knows how to have fun. Those are the type of gals he genuinely wants to get to know. My qualitative research (mostly Google-ing images, blogs, articles) on what fun means sends me to images of women who have their bras and panties on laughing their faces off, sitting or lying in bed seductively, doing crazy stuff, drinking and dancing at the club, etc. Is this just a generic idea of what fun means or is there more to it?

 

The guy I'm talking about tends to gear towards these women who I've mentioned in my qualitative research as well...assuming we just go off looks first. Of course it matters if the girl can hold a conversation. But I assume a girl who knows how to have fun can hold a conversation as well.

 

I am just curious because I also want to be the fun type. People say I'm too serious, or I take myself too seriously. I want the 'fun' type of guy too, whatever that means, because 'like attracts like' and the one's I attract are serious and tend to scare me off. Ironically, however, I am the serious creepy type when it comes to dating guys and I scare them off! But I don't want to be the 'skanky' type either. I don't want to have to pretend to be a bad girl, because honestly, that's not me. I'm responsible, I care about school and sometimes I think about school & my future too much because I fear if I have too much fun I will lose sight of what's important. Do I have my priorities set straight? Is that what's wrong? Idk!

 

What do I do to change this? I'm in a rut. I also fear that if I don't let loose every once in a while and just date the hot guy without worrying what we should label ourselves and just be spontaneous, live in the moment, enjoy...I might miss out on an opportunity to actually develop something special with this guy. It's too late now..but for future reference...I need advice.

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It could mean different things depending on the guy. It might mean he likes super outgoing girls that enjoy partying and clubbing. It could also mean he likes spontaneous girls that are game for random adventures, enjoy the same hobbies that he does, are laidback, funny etc.

 

You shouldn't change who you are for a guy though, if you're not into partying and going out then that's perfectly fine. However, it's totally possible to both do well in school and let loose once in awhile. I'm in professional school and I do really well academically but I still make time to go out. I wouldn't go out the night before a test/exam or anything but it's fun to have a night out every now and then!

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Ok, that's not even helpful. Like some type of constructive criticism would help. I'm actually trying to change my mentality to attract more of the people I want in my life. I do engage in a lot of Philosophical discussions on the regular, so maybe I just think too deeply? Maybe it's better to just do things without over-analyzing? Though sometimes it's good to be rational too...so you don't end up in jail, drunk on the street, pregnant, flipping burgers at McDonald's instead of working a real-job. Or maybe there is just a difference between fun and stupidity.

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There is nothing wrong with the way you have fun as long as you are having fun! Fun is subjective. It depends entirely on the experiencer. Yes you are over analyzing. To some, fun is jumping out airplanes in the sky, to others fun is reading a book...how can we possibly define this for you?

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Ok, that's not even helpful. Like some type of constructive criticism would help. I'm actually trying to change my mentality to attract more of the people I want in my life. I do engage in a lot of Philosophical discussions on the regular, so maybe I just think too deeply? Maybe it's better to just do things without over-analyzing? Though sometimes it's good to be rational too...so you don't end up in jail, drunk on the street, pregnant, flipping burgers at McDonald's instead of working a real-job. Or maybe there is just a difference between fun and stupidity.

 

That was constructive criticism. Its called "relax". You wont end up pregnant or flipping burgers.

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@SocialStigma: So far I like your comment. I think the ladder of what you say a fun girl means is more of what this guy is looking for. I'm was just curious. Thankfully, I know he's not interested in me anymore because I was in the mentality to conform to what he wants...I just thought he was so great.

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Or maybe there is just a difference between fun and stupidity.

 

^Ding! You got it. Don't confuse fun with doing stupid things, illegal things or being sleezy.

 

You can go to a party, have a drink or two, socialize, have a good time, laugh, flirt, make new friends - that's having fun. You don't have to be the girl that gets wasted and f..cks with some guy in the bathroom who gives her an STD, and then ends up balling her eyes out for a month on what a wreck she is - that's stupid.

 

Anyway, what people think is fun is going to be different for each person. It's more about matching interests and ideas. That's why people are saying just be who you are. I think your biggest issue is that you see life as extremes - you are either super serious and successful or you are having fun and homeless. Between these two extremes there are many many many shades of gray.

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Frankly.that's.exactly what I think of when I hear that: drinking and sleazing it up. It's so vague and sounds like such a generic thing people say when they have no idea how to label their.interests(or maybe they don't have any real ones) and qualities a potential partner would possess.

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Frankly.that's.exactly what I think of when I hear that: drinking and sleazing it up. It's so vague and sounds like such a generic thing people say when they have no idea how to label their.interests(or maybe they don't have any real ones) and qualities a potential partner would possess.

 

I guess its all about perspective and stereotypes. As a guy I would never thought that.

 

Most of us aren't as into sleazy like you ladies think.

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You're asking what is fun to an unknown guy to us? Doing qualitative research about an arbitrary word is just funny to me.

 

 

When I hear the word fun, I'm thinking of a girl that will join me for an activity, have an open mind, attitude and be smiling and laughing.

 

Fun is so subjective, my fun will be different from Edmund's fun and be different from your love interest's fun. The best way to find out is asking him and probing him with questions; a google image search will not yield the answers you seek.

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When I hear the word fun, I'm thinking of a girl that will join me for an activity, have an open mind, attitude and be smiling and laughing.

 

Exactly. I like girls who are game for new experiences (not talking sexual / drug / dangerous here) and won't complain if things aren't 100% the way they want or expected.

 

I've taken girls hiking who laughed, talked, and enjoyed the experience with nary a complaint.

 

That was FUN.

 

Then I've taken other girls on the very same hike and they complained 5 minutes into it that they're tired, it was too hot, it was boring, etc.

 

That was NOT fun.

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A girl who can have fun is a girl who is just chill. She's not asking a million questions when he wants to go out, she's not telling him he can't talk to girls, she's not complaining about not getting enough attention, she's not constantly worried about ruining her hair/makeup. She can enjoy what she's doing, whatever she's doing. Go with the flow, don't read into things.

 

Edmund said it best.

 

@ Edmund: tried to give you reputation points but you were the last person I gave them to so I guess you'll just have to wait

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