Roommate issue

[Amandacast57]

What do you guys think about this? Am I being unreasonable?

 

I have 2 roommates who are a few years younger than me and they are currently not speaking to me.

 

The story:

 

Both girls think that it is a good idea to get a dog. Not a small dog, but a pitbull/english bulldog mix. They keep going to the SPCA and "falling in love". I have told them they need to stop because getting a dog is not a good idea.

 

Rewind back to Sunday. I was out of town at an NFL game. On my way home, one of my roommates sends me a text telling me that they were seriously thinking about getting a dog and they wanted to know what my thoughts were. NO NO NO NO NO NO were my thoughts.

 

First of all, I have furnished the ENTIRE house. One of my roommate's cats has already clawed a hole in the side of my sofa, to which my roommate did NOTHING about. I bought these sofas brand new with my hard earned money about a year ago. I plan on keeping them for a while, until I can afford nicer sofas.

 

My first response to her was that I thought it was a horrible idea. I do not want a dog at the house, climbing on my furniture. They don't even know this dog. What if it chews up my sofas? Or claws on my coffee table. I know neither one of them will pay to have it fixed. When I told her my concern about the dog on the furniture, her response was "well you didn't have a problem when the 2 other dogs were on the sofa". Well, those dogs stayed at the house for about 3 days. Not 24/7. I wasn't going to make a huge deal about dogs being on the sofa for 3 days. Some arguments just aren't worth it. But regardless, why do I have to justify what I allow happen to my sofa? Its MY sofa!! If they are ok with having a dog climb all over it, then go buy the sofas and I'll put mine in storage.

 

Secondly, neither of these girls are responsible. I know first hand how much work goes into having a dog. When I was 22, I had "dog fever" and HAD to have a yorkie. It was like having a new born. He slept 4 hours at a time. Whined and cried. He was expensive. And I couldn't have a social life because I had to take care of him. Luckily, my grandma took him in.

 

Both of my roommates are always out partying. They sleep in late. They sometimes don't come home until midnight. I KNOW that I'll be the one who ends up having to take the dog out and walk him.

 

So after I said NO through text to my roommate, she said she wanted to talk about it later that night. I said ok.

 

Well, it took me a LONG time to get back home due to holiday traffic. When I get there, I walked in and saw they were both watching a movie. I said hello and neither one of them said a word. I was tired so I just went to my room and went to bed. It was 10:30 anyways. I didn't want to talk.

 

Well the conversation about the dog was not brought up again, or any conversation for that matter.

 

Neither one of them are talking to me. In fact, the other one uploaded a picture of the dog on Facebook and when someone asked who the dog was, she said "it is a dog I want to adopt but my roommate won't let me".

 

Today, I sent a text to the roommate who originally said she wanted to talk and asked if we were just not going to speak to each other. Long story short, it is my fault because she said she wanted to talk and I didn't go out of my way to talk to her about why she wanted the dog.

 

Am I wrong for thinking this is absolutely ridiculous? I couldn't care less about getting a dog so I'm not going to go out of my way to try to have a conversation about it. I don't think that is my responsibility. When I told her we could talk tonight she responds "I have happy hour. And then I'm having people over. Maybe tomorrow".

 

Thoughts?

[emma34]

They are being ridiculous and immature. Everyone goes through a "i want a puppy" phase at one point or another. I did, and ended up getting a puppy and giving it back a month later...I was also like 23...big mistake. Anyway, they will get over it...you are being responsible...absoloutely you are right. My advice...wait...it'll blow over.

[and so it goes]

If it were me, then I'd say "no" and if they don't like it then they can move (or I can move depending on the situation). Your roommates sound really immature, they are behaving like you are their mother.

Actually as I'm writing this, I'm thinking you should ditch them period - dog or no dog. Lots of people in this world, don't have to put up with passive-aggressive facebook status' and teenage nonsense like that.

[Edmund Exley]

If its all your furniture you have a very fair case to say no. That said, it may be time to move. I have a feeling your are about to get democratically screwed.

[alli]

I think you are totally in the right in this situation. I like dogs but I also don't want one for the reasons you listed. My parents have two big dogs and their presence has put significant wear and tear on their house. The front door is clawed up. The slider door is marked. The carpet is in rough shape even though it was replaced not too long ago. If I had a dog I think I would want ceramic floors or something similar. Dogs and carpet don't mix. Likewise, claws would probably put marks in hardwood floors. Potty accidents, throwing up, dirt and mud from their feet to the floor and flung all over when they shake their fur. Not to mention furniture as you said.

 

Are you renting a place together with them? I'm guessing the owner or company you rent from must allow dogs if they are pushing to get one.

 

This is part of having roommates. You don't get pets that other roommates aren't okay with. If you don't like it then you wait it out until the lease is up, then you can move and get different roommates who are okay with pets.

 

I once had a roommate that got a small dog and didn't tell me or my other roommate! I don't remember if dogs were outright not allowed or if they required an additional deposit, but either way she wasn't in line with the rental agency's rules. We only knew because we heard it bark. Then one day, she had her other dog from her hometown in her room so they were BOTH in her room. One of them was just sitting there scratching at her bedroom door. I knocked and asked her to get him to stop because we would have to pay for the claw marks. And she acted annoyed with me!! Hello, you didn't even ASK if you could bring a dog home or TELL us when you did it!

 

They will get over it. Hopefully they won't just go get one like my roommate did.

[Snny]

If all roommates do not agree with getting a pet, it will cause a major rift in relationships. Guaranteed. I moved out of my last roommates house because I could not stand living with a total of 9 aggressive dogs that did nothing but bark, growl, and get into fights with a pack mentality. The house was ALWAYS trashed because of their dogs (plus the owners were sloppy too). It added a lot of stress into my living environment.

 

My best friend has a pit bull/bulldog mix and her dog is VERY high energy and difficult to restrain because of the dog's strength. She is 8 months and she has already chewed furniture.

 

I agree they are very immature. You should not be bringing a pet home if you have to put up with roommates who don't want a dog nor be apart of any dog responsibilities. I'd tell them to go pack their bags for leaving snide teenage comments on Facebook or if they want a dog because you won't be having none of their crap.

 

Also, why in the hell are they going to an animal shelter anyway?

 

I did not get my own dog until I had my own place. I never sleep in or go out very late anymore because of the dog.

[Kendahke]

Who owns the house?

[happpybear]

I agree that this is a bad idea if you all are not on board. Owning a dog is a lot of work. I'm not even kidding, I have a dog and when he was a puppy for the first 6-10 months I never slept and entire night through because he would wake me up to go to the bathroom at 3am (he's a small dog) my BF at the time wanted nothing to do with the dog after we got him (it was a mutual decision to get the dog BTW) so all the dog duties fell to me. If these girls are irresponsible YOU WILL end up being the one that takes care of that dog. That means, you're social life, dating life will take a huge hit.

 

Who will actually own the dog? (have it registered in their name) and what happens when you guys decide to no longer live together, who owns the dog?

[LC8328]

I agree that your roommates are being immature.

 

They asked you about the dog and you said no, and instead of actually discussing it with you like adults, they ignored you and are now whining that you won't 'let' them. Huh?

 

It's hard to live with anyone, but it looks like you've been the responsible one for a while. You have my sympathy. I think this issue is bigger than the dogs. How permanent is your living arrangement? I truly hope for your own sanity that you find a way to live independently, and soon. Good luck.

[catfeeder]

A dog was not part of your agreement when you moved in together.

 

When is your lease up? I'd find new roommates or a new place, regardless of the dog--these two are flakes.

[Amandacast57]

They are being ridiculous and immature. Everyone goes through a "i want a puppy" phase at one point or another. I did, and ended up getting a puppy and giving it back a month later...I was also like 23...big mistake. Anyway, they will get over it...you are being responsible...absoloutely you are right. My advice...wait...it'll blow over.

 

That is how it was for me. I wanted a yorkie so bad and when I finally got him, I regretted my decision. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE him with all my heart. But I was young and wanted my freedom and he didn't allow that.

[Amandacast57]

Who owns the house?

 

So we have somewhat of a different situation. There are 3 roommates - me and 2 other girls. Me and the girl who had a text argument exchanged moved in at the same time with another girl. She happened to be good friends with the landlord so none of us are on a lease. We paid no deposit, nothing. We just pay month to month.

[Amandacast57]

 

Who will actually own the dog? (have it registered in their name) and what happens when you guys decide to no longer live together, who owns the dog?

 

NOT ME! and that is all that matters

[Amandacast57]

I agree that your roommates are being immature.

 

They asked you about the dog and you said no, and instead of actually discussing it with you like adults, they ignored you and are now whining that you won't 'let' them. Huh?

 

It's hard to live with anyone, but it looks like you've been the responsible one for a while. You have my sympathy. I think this issue is bigger than the dogs. How permanent is your living arrangement? I truly hope for your own sanity that you find a way to live independently, and soon. Good luck.

 

Actually, you are right. Ever since I lived in the house, I felt like I have done most of the cleaning and replenishing of the supplies. The roommate who is actually making this a bigger deal got mad at me over the summer because I wasn't cleaning up as much as I normally do. I was single and going through one of my "going out" stages". The problem was not that I wasn't cleaning at all, but that I wasn't cleaning enough for her not to clean.

 

Ever since the new roommate moved in, both girls have been going out and getting drunk on a regular basis. I don't care what they do, until it disturbs my living. I've never told anyone they can't go out but for example, last weekend, they both came home after the bar at 2:30am with guests and were loud until I finally got up at 3:30am and went to ask them to be quiet. When I did, the roommate that is making this all a big deal was said "We are going to bed soon". OK???? I don't care - just stop being so dang loud.

 

Another example - the douche roommate and I share a bathroom. Well the other morning I used the last of the toilet paper. I texted her to let her know that I am acknowledging that there isn't anymore and I will pick some more up. Instead of her saying "Ok thanks" she says "Yea, you used the last of it this morning". UMMMMM, have you never used the last of anything??? I don't know - maybe I am just being testy but her tone just acts like she is entitled, like HOW DARE YOU USE THE LAST OF SOMETHING!!!!

 

SO yes, it is overall a lot of things, not just the dog.

[Mesemene]

I wouldn't even consider it.

 

And I would have insisted on repair or replacing the sofa, or at LEAST getting a decent cover for it to prevent more damage for now.

 

I wouldn't even bring it down to dogs on the furniture - but to their schedules and lack of responsibility. Tell them bluntly that they haven't even properly dealt with the destruction caused by their cat (not sure how they are about keeping the litter box up) and a dog requires at least 10 times more care than a cat. A puppy requires more like 50 times the care for potty training.

 

Did they even bother to speak to the landlord, friend or not, and get approval for this harebrained idea?

[happpybear]

Lol, oh god, your post brings back bad-roommate memories lol. Ya, If you can find a way out of this situation it would probably be best for you. These girls are just stupid selfish and disrespectful. Since you are not on a lease then you are free to leave whenever you want (and take all the furniture with you!). Maybe start looking for a new living arrangement, this current one sounds stressful, its never fun to come home to stress.

[Batya33]

I wouldn't say another word about the dog. I'd move out ASAP because if it's not this situation it's going to be something else where they act irresponsibly and your property is damaged. In the meanwhile, if they get a dog tell them that they are responsible for any damage to your property. But move out fast.

[Amandacast57]

I wouldn't say another word about the dog. I'd move out ASAP because if it's not this situation it's going to be something else where they act irresponsibly and your property is damaged. In the meanwhile, if they get a dog tell them that they are responsible for any damage to your property. But move out fast.

 

Moving out isn't an option right now, unless it is back home with my mom.

 

I want to move to another city and am currently applying for jobs. I can't sign a lease somewhere because if I'm offered a job I want, I am going to take it.

 

Also, I don't make enough money right now to be able to pay for my own apartment. That is part of the terms for any future job I am offered. I need to make enough to be able to pay for my own place, in addition to my other bills (my student loans are KILLING me!!!).

 

This whole situation is just ridiculous.

 

I stayed at my mom's house last night to avoid me probably strangling them. I knew once the one roommate said she was bringing people back to the house that it was probably best for everyone that I didn't stay there. But how bad is it that I feel like I can't even stay at my own house if I want to get a good night's sleep?!?!?

[Amandacast57]

Lol, oh god, your post brings back bad-roommate memories lol. Ya, If you can find a way out of this situation it would probably be best for you. These girls are just stupid selfish and disrespectful. Since you are not on a lease then you are free to leave whenever you want (and take all the furniture with you!). Maybe start looking for a new living arrangement, this current one sounds stressful, its never fun to come home to stress.

 

It is extremely stressful. And right now, my life is stressed to the max with my awful working situation. It just makes me more mad that on top of my career stress, I am having to add to that because of some stupid, childish situation.

 

I just can't even believe that the one roommate is trying to blame this on me. I can't believe she thinks I am supposed to go out of my way to talk to her about a situation she created.

[Mesemene]

If it is an option, can you stay with mom and put your things in storage?

 

It is nuts that you can't even sleep comfortably in your own space, and that you have to feel hounded by these girls if you don't do what they want.

 

Maybe if they're stuck with just each other for a while they'll have to grow up.

[Amandacast57]

If it is an option, can you stay with mom and put your things in storage?

 

It is nuts that you can't even sleep comfortably in your own space, and that you have to feel hounded by these girls if you don't do what they want.

 

Maybe if they're stuck with just each other for a while they'll have to grow up.

 

I'm really considering it.

 

I am really struggling with what I want to do with my life. I hate my job SO much and am fighting myself on putting my 2 weeks in on Monday, moving back home and finding an in-between job until I can find something else.

[happpybear]

I really think you should move back with your mom for the time being. No shame in that ok, honestly. It's temporary. Especially if it is stress free. I really believe that "home" should be a place of calm and one should work really hard to make it so (I realize that can be impossible at times--but you still have options) especially if the rest of your life is stressfull.