Jump to content

Ending the first date?


tallydoo

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone! I'm hoping for some advice about ending a first date. I'm going on a date tomorrow evening with a man I'm acquainted with through friends, but I don't know him very well. Up until he asked me to dinner, I'd never thought of him that way but I'm willing to give it a shot and see what happens. Anyway, I went on a date earlier this year with the same situation--a man I was acquainted with through friends, didn't have any opinion of my interest one way or another--and ended up not being sure if I wanted to go on a second date with him. So I ended up just sort of awkwardly hemming and hawing my way through an answer when he asked when he could see me again.

 

In your experience, what's the best way to deal with that? I'm not sure how the date tomorrow is going to go--if it's great or terrible, I know what to do, but if I feel just meh I don't know what to do (I know I dealt with it terribly last time).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got a date tonight with a girl who told me (after she confirmed our date) that she's meeting a BFF for a drink later that night. That excuse could work for you, as well. The old standbys "I'm feeling really tired" and "I have stuff to do tonight and have to get up early tomorrow" are also appropriate.

 

As for a 2nd date invitation, just smile and say "I'll have to check my schedule."

 

If he pushes you for further clarification on ANY of those responses, it's none of his business, and you *may* have a potentially clingy/needy person on your hands.

 

That said, if you're NOT into him... let him know 1-2 days later that you're not interested in anything beyond friendship. Don't do the cowardly "fadeaway" (as shown in the link in my signature)!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Definitely just be honest with him if you aren't into him. I've always appreciated the rare days when a guy lets me know that he's just not interested in me romantically and it's usually done tastefully with them saying they think I'm a great person but just don't feel we are compatible.

 

Like mhowe said if you are unsure go for a second date. I felt the same way about my ex, and the 2nd and 3rd date helped me realize how much I liked him romantically but the first date I wasn't quite feeling it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got a date tonight with a girl who told me (after she confirmed our date) that she's meeting a BFF for a drink later that night. That excuse could work for you, as well. The old standbys "I'm feeling really tired" and "I have stuff to do tonight and have to get up early tomorrow" are also appropriate.

 

As for a 2nd date invitation, just smile and say "I'll have to check my schedule."

 

If he pushes you for further clarification on ANY of those responses, it's none of his business, and you *may* have a potentially clingy/needy person on your hands.

 

That said, if you're NOT into him... let him know 1-2 days later that you're not interested in anything beyond friendship. Don't do the cowardly "fadeaway" (as shown in the link in my signature)!

 

Thanks! I'll keep the later plans in mind next time--he's picking me up tonight, so that's not an option, but it sounds like a great idea, just in case. I certainly won't do the fadeaway if it comes to that, but I just wanted to make sure it was appropriate to say something like, "Let me think about it".

 

Definitely just be honest with him if you aren't into him. I've always appreciated the rare days when a guy lets me know that he's just not interested in me romantically and it's usually done tastefully with them saying they think I'm a great person but just don't feel we are compatible.

 

Like mhowe said if you are unsure go for a second date. I felt the same way about my ex, and the 2nd and 3rd date helped me realize how much I liked him romantically but the first date I wasn't quite feeling it.

 

Thanks for the advice! I'll keep it in mind if I end up unsure tonight

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...