Im losing control of my anger

[James1607309258]

A couple days ago i made a post that lately ive been losing control of my composure and have almost lashed out in some of my uncontrollable anger moods and lately ill a can think when i look on peoples smiling faces is that we all deserve to die. Im SICK and tired of this world of ignorant, self righteous, lying, decieving, abusive s in this HOLE we call society. IS IT ONLY ME THAT SEES THIS DEPRAVATION IN THE WORLD THAT WE ARE LIVING LIES AND WE ALLOW IT? WE LET PEOPLE CONTROL WHO WE ARE AND WHO WE NEED TO BE AND WE JUST LIE DOWN AND TAKE IT?!?! I WOULD TAKE EXTREME ING PLEASURE IN BURNING EVERY INCH OF THIS ABUSED AND MISUSED EARTH TO THE DAMN GROUND. SOCIETY LEAVES US HERE TALKING TO OURSELVES ASKING FOR SELF HELP WHILE THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US??? WERES THE GOOD IN THAT? WE ALL ASK FOR CHANGE AND RAGE OR GET DEPRESSED BUT DOES ANYBODY ACTUALLY DO ANYTHIN??? IM NO EXCEPTION AND DONT PRENTEND BE SOME PREACHING MASIAH AND I HATE MYSELF FOR NOT ACTING ON THIS EARLIER. WE AS A HUMAN SPECIES DOES NOT DESERVE WHAT WE HAVE, WE DONT WORK FOR ANYONE EXCEPT OURSELVES, WE ARE A PARASITE ON PLANET EARTH AS WE DESTROY OUR OWN KIND IN THE RACE FOR OUR OWN SELF DESTRUCTION. BUT ALL PEOPLE CAN THINK OF IS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN HOLLYWOOD? WHILE THE GOVERNMENTS SPEW MORE CRAP AND WASTES EVERYONES LIVES? THE GREATEST INJUSTICE TO HUMANITY IS OURSELVES AND WE DENY IT AND LIVE AS IF WERE ACTUALLY HEADING TOWARD A BRIGHT FUTURE WHILE THE ONLY FORSEABLE OUTCOME IS SELF ANNIHILATION BY OUR OWN WEAPONS OF WAR!!!! AND I HATE IT AND I HATE EVERYONE WHO CARRIES ON THINKING TOMORROW WILL BE DIFFERENT WHEN ALL THEYRE WALKING TO IS A MEANGINGLESS DEATH.... and thats through one of my moods... Lately theyve started to become more frequent but nothing has been able to help. Ive seeked counseling but its turned no results, as like it did in this post my outbursts are spontaneous through converstion or thought. I havent got any diagnosed mental disorders other then depersonalization. Please, can anyone help? Any advice?

[mhowe]

More therapy.

[globalnomad]

More therapy.

 

This, and/or think smaller. I have to admit, I have a hard time following your rant, but what jumps to my eye are big entities - society, earth, all and everything. Well, there is certainly a lot to be frustrated and angry about in this society and world, but at this global level you cannot help but get overwhelmed by it, particularly if you're already in an upset/angry state of mind. If you focus on small things and the interactions you have with individuals, you can (if you're open to it at all) begin to see the goodness in things, which is also present: small acts of kindness, a smile, a flower, a tree, a recycling bin, solar panels, an interracial couple, a dog with a wagging tail, just to name a few random things. Simply note their presence. No need to compare the number of good things you are aware of to the number of bad things. As long as you can perceive one single good thing, not all is lost.

[James1607309258]

Yeah i dont follow my own rants much either, the times i feel most in control of my anger is always when im away from everything or with my friends. In many ways its not who i am at all, but whenever i lose control my mind feels like its about to explode if i concentrate on a singular object. Its really gotten out of hand and my friends are scared to be around when ive lost control as i get physical with it too. The only thing thats really helped ever is isolation. But thats obviously not always preferrable when i am happy.

[staysound]

maybe you feel, although you are for a certain amount, too entitled to your anger. Especially when it comes to environmental issues and global issues. You, as we all are, are very entitled to be angry about our society and what goes wrong. Yet, you need to humble down a great deal when it comes to thinking you can get physically angry (and therefore abusive, even to material stuff, unless it is your own) simply because you are angry about *the world*.

This is a world we all have to live in and live it, whether it is passive or angry or happy. You can not invade other people's opinions or emotions on that particular issue, and although it is sometimes hard not to get very upset about it all, I have this too, who am I to say where other people get their little smiles and happiness about?

Not me, not you.

 

Search for what really honestly upsets you, did you get neglected when you were younger? It doesn't have to be a big trauma, sometimes our anger comes out in strange ways without us even knowing the real basis for it. And a lot of the times that anger stems from childhood.

 

Your anger will not change anything about the world or your immediate environment, anger has not changed anything unless it is channeled into something constructive.

 

Maybe you could try and express yourself in an other way, maybe something creative? Something people will feel drawn to, instead of pushed away.

Just an idea..

[pippy longstocking]

You have concerns and anger for this world

 

but

 

people don't want to be around you James , friends are frightened , the negativity oozing from you is apparant even over text ..

 

so in the world of irony ,you are infact adding to what you are complaining about ...

 

can you view it like that ?

 

make sure you are one of the people in this world who give something simple ..friendship , a smile , the door open for a stranger ....just start with little "feel good" things .

[SooSad33]

I understand all you're saying James....

 

I agree with a lot here. As we sit and 'think'.. we see so much crap going on. Not sure how much WE can do about it?

The World is changing so much and Life seems so 'fast paced'. Yes, it can be scary & overwhelming.

 

Sounds like today, you're just in one of those 'moods'. I get them now & then. How EVERYTHING is just too much to face and I dont want to even get out of bed.

 

You sound frustrated with a lot.. and yes, you do a lot of 'thinking'.

Do you write down your thoughts at all? Other than here? I have written thoughts in a cpl of books with me. I tend to need to 'vent' in my own sense, as well.

If not in tears.. or getting out of these 4 walls, i will write it out.

 

I've been noted with past 'severe mood swings' but I am on something for my Depression and anxiety to work on being able to 'manage' my challenging, overwhelming Life. Same as you- way too much going on, in the mind.

 

Like I said.. I read & understand much of what you've said here. And yes, I agree...

Now.. how about YOU go have a shower.. clean up a bit, go for a walk.. or write?

 

You're not alone.

 

tc

[Liraele]

It's not only you that sees it, no.

 

However, if you focus on the 'big picture' constantly, and a negative one at that, you will be crazier than a crap-house rat in no time.

 

If you don't like what you see in the wider world, focus smaller, and focus on the things you can change in your little corner of the world. Yourself, your circle, your community. Do good things just because. It's pretty amazing how much of a difference the small things can make, and when you focus on that and making a small, local difference you teach others to do the same. It just grows from there. Things don't change overnight, and we shouldn't expect them to. It has taken us years to get here... it will take us years to get to someplace better.