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Boyfriend chose to go out with his friend on our 1 month anniversary.


Msunstood

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I don't like to celebrate every month as an "anniversary", but I think the "1 month" is a little important. Anyway, he comes over the day before the anniversary to hang out for only an hour and a half, and he has to leave early because he has school the next day. But he bought me flowers and says it's because tomorrow for our 1 month anniversary he won't be hanging out with me, that he's going out to the movies with his friend. He asks if I want to go, but I say no. You might say: "hey, well he invited you, you could've went". But the fact that he wants to spend time with his friend during that day is what's upsetting me. Do you think I'm overreacting, or should he have spent the time with me?

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I would lay off. He brought you flowers. That is his way of celebrating. And a one month dating anniversary is not really a formal thing. Because what do you follow that up with that on month two or six months? You guys have been dating 4 weeks. that might be 2-8 dates?

 

Also, did you make plans with him? No, you didn't. Otherwise he would have told his buddy he already had plans.

 

I would have gone to the movies with them and appreciated the flowers. But then that's just me.

 

I think you should be careful or you will come off as high maintenance to him

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Did you ask him in advance to spend time with you? Sounds like no. Did you make plans? Sounds like no. So, he had no reason to spend that time with you other than your uncommunicated desire to do so.

 

A month in is pretty trivial in my opinion. One year ... which is the actual length of an anniversay ... is more important.

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I think it's sweet he brought flowers! He made an effort the day before and acknowledged it which is thoughtful. Let it go and if you want to make sure you have plans for another anniversary, mention it in advance and make plans together.

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Yeah...I've never really heard of anyone celebrating being together for one month. In my view, anniversaries commemorate a significant period of time together, that you feel accomplished in some way in the relationship, and one month seems very forced to me - you're still getting to know each other. One year? yeah, totally. 1.5 years? cool. But a month? Uh...him bringing flowers and even acknowledging that is enough.

 

If you expect someone to be dropping everything because you've seen each other for one month (30 days), I think you need to re-evaluate your expectations.

 

Be thankful he brought you flowers. I am sure you reminded him to? Not trying to be mean or rude or anything at all, it's just I've never heard of ANYONE celebrating that unless they've been pressured to. Concentrate on the positive in your relationship and moving forward - not small 'milestones' that have to be 'recognized.' Recognize each other for now - in 11 months, go all out and celebrate once you've grown together and cultivated an actual genuine, lengthy relationship. And, thank him for those flowers. That was sweet. Let him see the movie and back off.

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I have to go with the others on this ...

 

one month anniversary ....

 

you need to pull your own reigns in on stuff like this , this is high maintenance already and you have only been with him a month .

 

with respect ,

instead of creating bad feeling , arguments , dissapointments and upset over an event you have made up in your head , why don't you enjoy this relationship and appreciate that he did actually buy into this and got you flowers . Just appreciate THAT and the fact that you have no other problems in your life .

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At one month you hardly know each other and have no clue whether this relationship is going to go anywhere serious or not.

 

and you need to dial back the romantic fantasy and DON'T be that girl who is always sniffling in tears because your BF doesn't live up to some unrealistic romantic fantasy you've seen in the movies, where you expect him to hang on your every word and treat you like a princess on a pillow. Really, guys find this kind of behavior really tiresome, and if you're already expecting him to act like one month of dating is a wedding anniversary, you're way off the mark.

 

just chill and dial it back a bit. you're just getting to know him at this point, and you need to take this a lot less seriously than you are or you will spend your life constantly disappointed because you're not living in a romance novel and getting hurt again and again because you are getting way too serious way too fast before you even know the guy or whether it is a relationship that can turn into something long term or not.

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I never 'celebrated' 1 months.. or 6. Why for? Wow- was a nice guy to give you flowers! Very thoughtful.

With HIM actually inviting you to the movies.. I think I would have gone too....

 

Don't 'expect' so much. Ease off on YOUR expectations. Always remember MOST guys do NOT 'think' like us women.

They may not be as 'sentimental' or sensitive as us.

And IF you're trying to explain something? (drop a hint)- Just be blunt! Don't beat around the bush. They will not 'get it' most times.

 

In a relationship, there is much needed such as 'respect; understanding, caring, sharing, and you always need time apart. Do not expect them to ALWAYS want to be with you- vise versa. Do not rid of your friends over a partner.

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any month, year anytime is great for celebrating how long you've been together, i think even if it's 1 month you two should have been together, i for a sure fact would not put my mates first in a relationship. im not good at giving advice but comeone anyone should understand how you feel, i would feel pretty down if i had a girlfriend do that to me. hope all works out well on your next celebration.

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any month, year anytime is great for celebrating how long you've been together, i think even if it's 1 month you two should have been together, i for a sure fact would not put my mates first in a relationship. im not good at giving advice but comeone anyone should understand how you feel, i would feel pretty down if i had a girlfriend do that to me. hope all works out well on your next celebration.

 

I agree that there is a lot to celebrate, as long as both parties like to celebrate everything and it is in perspective. He DID celebrate their one month of dating by giving her flowers. To most people, 4 weeks of dating is 4 weeks of dating. You might say in your mind "cool, we've been dating four weeks" but 99% of people don't celebrate it like its your 10th wedding anniversary.

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I agree with everyone in regards to the one month anniversary. The only time people commemorate a one month anniversary to my knowledge is when they are in high school. In relationships that have more permanence than a high school ones, the year mark is the key. Relax and put realistic expectations on him and your relationship. You guys are just getting to know each other still. Good luck!

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Some people just really don't care for anniversaries. My guy hasn't celebrated one with me and we're past the two year mark! Then again, he may not be a great example ^^

 

I reckon at one month, you should be flattered you got flowers and that you were invited. Take it slow, real relationships aren't Disney

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I agree with everyone in regards to the one month anniversary. In relationships that have more permanence than a high school ones, the year mark is the key.

 

Thats a broad generalization. Depends on the couple really.

 

My boyfriend and I celebrated the first month and many after that in the beginning (flowers and/or dinner etc). Over time we still acknowledge the day but with less fanfare, haha. Next month is our two year anniversary so we'll definitely do something nice for that.

 

I do think after you've been together for long time years are key. But within the first six months of dating are shorter milestones to celebrate as well.

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