am i being unreasonable?..advice please.

[missy321]

i have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years already, and every time i hear about couples getting engaged or married i get a little sad and jealous. especially when they are with that person for a couple of months to 3 years. don't get me wrong we are only 22 and 23 years old and i am not in a rush to get married just yet. i just feel like he has it too easy i do some wife duties and he likes to say that i am like a wife to him already. it just upsets me with the comments he makes for instance last month i told him that i felt as if i was being interviewed by him because he had sat accross from me. and his response was "i'm interviewing you to see if you are wife material. don't give up you'll eventually get their". he was joking but i did not find that funny because it hit to close to home for me.and more recently we were watching a movie about a guy that dated a girl for three years and did not want to purpose to her. he turned to me and asked if that is what i was expecting him to do. i told him no, and he said "okay good" like nothing. i'm just confused because two weeks before he had sent me a link of a guy purposing to his girlfriend at the movies and said that the guy stole his idea. i just feel that after 6 years of being together he should know if he wants to be with me for the long run by now. should i tell him how i feel?

[mhowe]

Why did you tell him you didn't expect him to propose?

[Batya33]

If you knew he was never going to marry you how long would you stay? That is your ending date. Tell him that it's not an ultimatum but that if you two are not engaged by that time you're going to have to move on and find someone who wants to be married. Also you have to decide when you want to get married -if you want one of those unofficial engagements where you tell people you're engaged but there's no wedding date in the near future/within the year that's different than an official engagement where the purpose is to make wedding plans.

 

Also why are you doing "wife" duties?

[missy321]

i told him no because i was frustrated. if hes going to ask me it will be because he wants to on his own and not because i'm telling him. i hear of too many girls pushing their man to commit and that doesn't always end well.

[pippy longstocking]

maybe he was probing to know you wanted this , so asked the question to see your response ..yours was negative , so he followed suit .

 

it seems that some hard core honesty and communication is needed here

[mhowe]

Well...then I would have said:

 

I would love it if you proposed when you are ready.

[missy321]

because we are young im willing to wait longer. i dont want to be like one of those girls who leave an ultimatum but if it comes to waiting another 3-4 years that's where i draw the line. as far as wife duties go we spend a lot of time together so its natural for me to want to help him out..thanks for the advice!

[missy321]

shooting star you are right. i need to be honest with how i feel. thankyou

[Batya33]

If you've been together 6 years why not propose to him? (no, I wouldn't have, but why not?)