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Sort of messed up the first kiss - disastrous?


davzi

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I made a post a few days ago about being afraid whether a girl was still interested after our first official date. Turned out I was just a bit paranoid, but I'll give a brief overview.

 

I came to the UK to study at Uni and met a girl there. She's in my group, so we see each other pretty much every day. I really liked her the moment I saw her and it just kept getting better. We started spending time together, nice and friendly at first. We visited each other's places, did some cooking etc. Then I took a step forward and took her to see a movie - I paid for the tickets of course. Nothing else happened, but we did start to get more comfortable touching each other. This took place over the course of about 2 months.

 

Then I took another step forward and just asked her out "on a proper date". She said yes, so I took her to a nice restaurant. After a very nice evening of talking and hand holding I alked her home and we had a brief lip/lip kiss. After that I got slightly worried because she was slow to reply to my texts over the next two days (weekend, didn't see her at uni). Oh, and she also said she was too busy to spend another evening with me until Christmas. My fears were laid to rest when she sort of snuggled up next to me during lunch at uni and started ruffling my hair etc. She also invited herself over to my place (and it's not Christmas yet!).

 

I cooked her some dinner, then we spent the rest of the evening cuddling on my bed, plenty of cheek stroking, hugging, arms over shoulders, belly rubbing, that sort of thing. Have to say, it was extremely pleasant... When she was leaving, I decided it's time for the next step and went in for a longer kiss. That's where things started going slightly sour. I have absolutely no experience with this so I was quite nervous. Also, I had NO idea what I was doing, even though I read up on the technique...

 

We tried once, both our mouths and we just sort of fumbled around with our lips. Then we tried again, with quite a bit of lip smacking on her part. I gave up, pulled away and automatically said "oh well..." to which she replied with a quick "sorry"... Walked her out of the building and we hugged goodbye =P I sent her a "good night kiss" text, to sort of limit the damage and make sure she knows I don't blame her, just in case. She DID apologize, even though I'd say it was my fault. She didn't write back though....

 

So I'd say the first proper kiss went rather badly. Does this happen often? And how bad is it? I've really got no one else to ask...

 

I doubt a single bad kiss is enough to ruin the whole thing after all this time (hope not!), but just in case, what can I do to fix my mistake?

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what can I do to fix my mistake?

 

nothing , because you havent made a mistake .. you are two inexperienced people who fumbled your way through a first kiss and there is NOTHING wrong with that .

 

the best thing you can do is just forget it ...honest ...no need to bring it up , say sorry , debate it , argue whose fault it was ....just carry on as normal .

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On next date make a joke.about it:

I think we need to practice and synch up our kissing.

How about kissing practice?

 

As you get older...it becomes non issue. But it would behoove you to learn how to kiss well.

 

mmm now you just made me think about that in a different way

 

like if it isn't mentioned it's like the elephant in the room .

 

 

so ...putting myself in her shoes ...If you do want it to be brought up , I think I would probably like the man to just get -a- hold of me , have a laugh about it and give me another kiss ...so I wasn't sat dreading it for the full duration of the date.

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So things are all right? That's a relief, thanks! I felt a bit uneasy when she didn't text me back, but I guess we ARE far enough along the way where I can stop worrying about the details... The cuddling part was really nice, at least!

 

I will see her tomorrow at uni. Guess I'll ask her when she's free so can practice our kissing or something. I'm not sure how to behave, some people prefer to hide relationships in public before they become "official". But I guess she's not one of them, touching my hair and leaning on my in front of our classmates... Could probably just ignore the audience and always act like we're dating, eh?

 

Thanks again though!

 

And reading up on kissing theory really isn't very helpful...

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This is my first time, so any other useful tips? I'm trying hard to not be too clingy, show TOO much attention, be too dependant etc. It's a bit hard, because I feel like this might be the real deal. It's way more than just physical attraction... We'll both be home during the Christmas holidays, I guess a two week break can be a good thing? I don't want things to cool off during that time. And I'd like things to get nice and stable as fast as possible, because the current euphoria/anxiety cycles are having a negative effect on my studies...

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This is my first time, so any other useful tips? I'm trying hard to not be too clingy, show TOO much attention, be too dependant etc. It's a bit hard, because I feel like this might be the real deal. It's way more than just physical attraction... We'll both be home during the Christmas holidays, I guess a two week break can be a good thing? I don't want things to cool off during that time. And I'd like things to get nice and stable as fast as possible, because the current euphoria/anxiety cycles are having a negative effect on my studies...

 

chirstmas is one of those times that we all tend to go off in our different directions , just keep up the contact ..nice pleasant happy contact and look forward to seeing each other .

 

it only goes bad on breaks like christmas when one out of the couple starts to get jelous , or needy , texting every ten minutes and hitting the roof when they don't get a reply , not understanding that a person is busy and having family time . It is about mutual respect and understanding , while still showing you are interested and missing her company .

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