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I canceled our date


Frosted_Cherry

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So I have been talking to this girl on OkCupid and it has been fine. Texting etc.

 

I set up a date on Sunday for this Saturday and she agreed but I needed to check what time (I was going into the city later). I told her around 12-1.

 

2 days later, I texted her the exact time

,etc.

 

No response for 2 days. Well my gut kick in. She's gonna flake. I have had this happen MANY times before and most all girls will ignore the next then just text you later saying they can't make it

 

So I told myself I am done with getting flaked. Done playing games. I want to go into the city earlier that day. I texted her today and told her I can't make it this weekend (2 days before date). She said okay but she didn't see the text before until now.

 

I was like are you kidding me LOL. The ONE time. So I asked to reschedule and she said that is fine.

 

Now, I know what it is like to get flaked on, but it usually hours before, not days.

 

I need to be in the mind of girl. What would you girls do?

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Hmm. She doesn't seem exceptionally interested but do some damage control. Reschedule, apologize, tell her the truth about people flaking on you and ask for a fresh start. I've flaked on people before via okc and by being honest they've forgiven me. Didn't work out in the end, but we went on a few dates.

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Hmm. She doesn't seem exceptionally interested but do some damage control. Reschedule, apologize, tell her the truth about people flaking on you and ask for a fresh start. I've flaked on people before via okc and by being honest they've forgiven me. Didn't work out in the end, but we went on a few dates.

 

I would not do that. You don't need to apologize for anything, you asked to reschedule, she said sure, done deal. Not sure she could be interested or not at this point. You haven't even met yet. Meet her, then go from there.

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Leave her alone. If she really wanted to meet you and something unexpected came up, she would have called or texted you (and I agree--get off the texting and call her and listen to her voice-that's how you can gauge her interest), apologized profusely for the interruption and suggested the reschedule. She didn't.

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I think I might of confused people accidentally.

 

- Set up date. She agrees. Needed to text her time later in week.

 

- Text her time. She never responded

 

-I cancelled date because I believed she was gonna flake cause she never responded to date confirmation text

 

-I text her I can't make it. She said she didn't see my message before.

 

-I offer to reschedule. She says that is fine

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i think you should go with your original instinct. people who use texting to communicate regularly do not generally take 2 days to respond, especially to someone they are keen on going out with. granted, it is difficult for some (like me) to be keen about meeting anyone when you are talking internet 'dating', so there is that to consider.

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While I agree, I am 23. And every time I try to call a girl, they never answer and just text you back.

 

Girls my age hate it

 

If you call and they don't text back that is a bad sign.

 

I say she wasn't interested because she did not make a big effort to respond back to you in a more timely way.

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Yes, it seems the younger the people are, the less likely to talk but still not a bad idea to try phoning. Once my bf sent me a text at around noon and he asked me about it a couple hours later when we were together and I had not received it. We were watching a movie later that night around 10pm and I suddenly got the text. There was also an entire day I didn't get any of his texts for some reason. Texting not completely reliable that's why I think giving someone benefit of the doubt once is fine. Now, if it's a pattern then that's different. Best of luck.

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She was ignoring you. It's weak, and it means she isn't interested enough.

 

I wouldn't bother with a follow through. If she honestly had some malfunction or problem in between that time; she would have chirped up and offered to reschedule the date when you two last texted. You wouldn't have had to offer again.

 

my two cents. And people are people - young, old, men, women. When they want to see ya and talk to you, they find a way. Goes for anyone. Anyone.

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when I'm not interested, and for some reason the guy has not been smart enough to realize that, I let him text me, and I answer to one out of 4, 5 texts. if I text him immediately, he's got me - if I take my time to do it when I'm completely not busy, but still the same day, I'm amused but not really into him; if I take more than a day, dude...

 

and I like guys who call to schedule dates. all else can be by text, but scheduling is something that really demands assertiveness, and texts are sometimes too vague, or leave me thinking I'm not really talking to a human being.

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when I'm not interested, and for some reason the guy has not been smart enough to realize that, I let him text me, and I answer to one out of 4, 5 texts.

 

This type of fadeaway is the approach of a lot of people (see my sig below), and though I understand it (people don't want to hurt someone's feelings, girls may have had abusive experiences with spurned men, etc.) it's infuriating & confusing for the other person.

 

If you don't like a guy, why not just tell him? Or just stop texting altogether?

 

Otherwise it's this endless dragging out of one person thinking "well, they texted me, they must still be interested!" while the other person is thinking "I only reply every 4-5 times, why can't they get the hint!"

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I think I might of confused people accidentally.

 

- Set up date. She agrees. Needed to text her time later in week.

 

- Text her time. She never responded

 

-I cancelled date because I believed she was gonna flake cause she never responded to date confirmation text

 

-I text her I can't make it. She said she didn't see my message before.

 

-I offer to reschedule. She says that is fine

 

Did she say when would be a good time? Did she suggest anything or did all she say to you was "that is fine"?

 

She's not interested. She would act like someone who is interested and trust me, you'll know when a woman is interested.

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I am "old" but I hate talking on the phone, too, and I never pick it up when somebody call me, either.

 

However, your first mistake was not setting a firm time time for the first meeting. She hasn't even seen you in person yet, so saying "I need to check what time but it'll be around 12-1 and I'll get back with you later with the real time" is just starting out WEAK and giving a wishy-washy first impression before she even actually meets you.

 

Why not just say "I'll meet you at 12:45 on the dot!" At least that shows some backbone!

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