At work I have gone from being really cheerful to quite miserable

[water777]

Hi

 

At work I am normally very happy, cheerful and playful and and engaging.

 

Since the BU (4 weeks ago) I am struggling with depression. I'm flat, introspective, quiet and everyone is saying "what's wrong with you?"

 

I have told some of the people I work with about BU so that word will get around that I'm experiencing a marriage breakup.

 

In the meantime I've just been telling people that I'm very, very depressed and just leave it at that.

 

I can't believe how much this BU has floored me.

 

I'm going to work, but I feel like the walking dead. I have a really flat affect and I am quite embarrassed that my vulnerability is on display to everyone.

 

I work in a very large department and I have people who aren't my best fans, they are quite enjoining schadenfreude at my expense.

 

When all said and done I'm feeling really embarrassed about my loss and it makes it all the more difficult to carry on.

 

Pain is still over whelming.

 

I hate this pain.

 

Each day I wait / hope that there will be a lift in my mood.

 

Best cliche I hold onto is that attributed to Winston Churchill, I'm sure I've read it here in ENA, "when your going through hell, just keep going"

 

I feel very zombieish.

 

Sorry, just need to rant

 

w

[Ms Darcy]

Do you have a counseling program through your work? You do not want to be so noticably depressed that everyone at work is noticing. I think you should try to fake it til you make it. Try to smile more. Be deliberate about it. And focus on the things you are grateful for. I would suggest keeping a gratidute journal. Finally, make sure you are exercising at least 30 minutes a day at a high intensity. It will not only improve your physical health, it boosts your mood as it creates natural endorphins in your body.

[Edmund Exley]

Do you have a counseling program through your work? You do not want to be so noticably depressed that everyone at work is noticing. I think you should try to fake it til you make it. Try to smile more. Be deliberate about it. And focus on the things you are grateful for. I would suggest keeping a gratidute journal. Finally, make sure you are exercising at least 30 minutes a day at a high intensity. It will not only improve your physical health, it boosts your mood as it creates natural endorphins in your body.

 

This. You need to talk to someone.

[sammi87]

Your marriage just split up 4 weeks ago... Is there anyway you could take a little time off? Not just to deal with the depression, but also the many other difficult things that go along with it (meeting with lawyers...finding a new place...sorting out possessions).

 

And don't feel bad about people seeing the change in your disposition. I don't even think you need explain you are depressed- most of them have probably been through a rough patch themselves and will already understand this. They may even go out of their way to make things a little easier for you.

[lavenderdove]

I think some short tern counseling in the midst of a marriage breakup is very important and useful. When I separated, I went to the counselor for about 6 months to help me through it and talk about it with someone who was neutral and it served as my safety valve that allowed me to continue to focus on work while getting support and time to talk about what was going on in my personal life.

 

You can also try to join a support group for separated/divorced people. and make a promise to yourself that you will leave your personal life at the work door, and refuse to dwell on it on work hours. If thoughts of it pop up during the day, remind yourself 'I can think about that at lunch or after work, but I am working now and need to focus on that.'

[Newbuck80]

I know what you are going through. Before my breakup I was very outgoing at work, now I just mope around so to speak, and people have noticed. I always took my breaks in the break room joking and conversing with people, now I go sit in my truck. Ive tries to "fake it" as far as acting happy goes, can't pull it off yet. I'm sure this will pass for us and we will be back to our old selves again