I dont think I am good enough!

[AMRD]

So, I just recently got a job and there is this guy, I have seen him at the store before because I shop there on a regular basis and I never thought he was attractive. I have been working at this store now for about a month and I have talked to him maybe 15 minutes combined and I was REALLY awkward about it. After talking to him I find him consuming my thoughts all the time. I want to see him and when I go to work and he isn't there I get a little bummed out. My problem is, I am younger than him he is 21 and I am 18 so its not a HUGE age gap and allot of people have relationships with age gaps bigger than this but what I am struggling with, is I dont think he could ever find me attractive because I am overweight and he is rather thin... to be in my target weight zone I need to lose about 100-120lbs. I have been trying to for a long time to lose weight and in the past few months I lost about 20lbs and have gained back 10 I feel like a total loser about it...I wont say I am in love with him because I am not I have a crush and I would love to explore a possible friendship and oneday even a relationship... The other thing I think about is I cant go do the things he can like go out to the bar or drink or whatever, so we really have nothing in common that I know of at this point and I know I should be confident but I am shy through and through and I feel slightly comfortable with him, I just dont know how to talk to him or be friends or even if he would ever like me because I am so fat the only hope I have seen is that whenever we have talked he has started the convo so maybe he is trying to be my friend or just be nice to the new girl.......I dont know I just feel like I am not good enough fat.

[zentoCC]

Of course your good enough fat. Losing weight wont change your personality or your moral values. You're still just a good a person you just lack confidence which you've realised.

 

Do things to up your confidence get yourself some nice clothes and wear some make up. Also lose some weight for health reasons, there's loads of help on the internet though getting off the internet would be best. Go for power walks they're great for losing weight and find fruits and vegetables that you like. Healthy food can be delicious plus to stay healthy you only really need be 'good' 80% of the time so give yourself the occasional chocolate bar otherwise you may break and eat loads of junk food.

 

I hope this helps and remember do this for you nobody else. If you need any help feel free to contact me.

[RomansEmpire]

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! YOU'RE AMAZING! This is what you need to be saying to yourself. Fat is not who you are it is simply a physical state you happen to be in and you can change that if you want. As clingyconfused stated, losing weight won't make you a different person it will only change your appearance. Being thinner won't guarantee this guy or any guy will be attracted to you and losing weight alone will not give you confidence. Confidence comes from within, from knowing who you are and what you stand for.

 

Get to know yourself and don't be afraid to show that person to the world. Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking "I'm so fat" start telling yourself positive things. Find something about your appearance that you love and compliment yourself. Tell yourself how good you are at whatever skill you excel at. Remind yourself how special you are and how lucky anyone is to have you in their life.

 

As for this guy, take it as it comes. If he is friendly then be friendly back. If he starts a conversation, talk to him and ask him questions to get to know more about him. You may find something you have in common to build on. Shut those negative thoughts down and remember you're a person and he's a person. Both of you have good qualities and both of you have flaws. Nobody is perfect. Don't stress about getting to a relationship status because your ultimate focus should be building your relationship with yourself. If you can't see how great you are then how can he or anyone else?

[SooSad33]

YOU ARE a Good Person

I have 2 sisters, overweight and they still married. Both guys were thin....

 

For your own health though, there are ways to lose weight. Look online for 'natural ways to lose weight'. I think there's things like apple cider vinegar, to smoothies and coconut oil. You can the coconut oil (solid) in health food stores or bulk stores. It's amazing stuff! 2-3 tbs a day and let it melt in your mouth.

Also keep up with your needed nutrients in your diet. Get 'natural' sweetners- NOT sugar. (try xylitol or natural 'plant' derived sweetners) @ bulk food stores.

 

Good to keep up with your vitamin's as well. The C's, D's, B's and K's. Your body NEEDS these nutrients.

 

Lots of things to try.... don't give up and give it time.

 

While you're at your own 'improvements', keep chatting up with this 'nice' guy at work and just get to know him. No one says you NEED to look at him as a bf. I suggest you do NOT go there. It is NOT nice to get involved with co-workers.

 

gd luck! tc