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Dating after heartbreak


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I understand why its best to take some serious time after being dumped and heartbroken from a serious ltr. I met a girl and although i was very upfront about my situation and emotional availability, she still got very attached and very quickly which led to me having to break things off and hurt her and in the process it made me resort to the feelings of loneliness and anger over what my ex has done to me and taken from me. I never mislead this girl and hid nothing but i guess when someone feels strongly it doesnt matter. Im just here to say if u are badly broken by someone you once loved, take time and dont succumb to the instant gratification of having anothers affections because if u arent truly ready, it will only hurt someone and make u feel bad and bring back some of those hurt feelings u might have moved past. Its obv different for everyone but atleast for me i just wasnt ready and likely wont be for a while.

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I have to be very careful I don't do this. I'm really feeling like I need someone to be there for me emotionally. I have passed on a FWB opportunity mainly because I miss my ex so much, I feel like it's cheating still...if that makes sense. Ughhhh. Never felt this desperate need to have someone before.....sad.

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I have to be very careful I don't do this. I'm really feeling like I need someone to be there for me emotionally. I have passed on a FWB opportunity mainly because I miss my ex so much, I feel like it's cheating still...if that makes sense. Ughhhh. Never felt this desperate need to have someone before.....sad.

 

It'll pass.. work out and eat some Ben & Jerry's. Feel for you, awful to feel that way. It will pass though.

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Unfortunately, you can be really upfront about where you are emotionally, really clear about what you have and haven't got to give - and there are some people who still can't accept it. The kindest thing to do is not to lead them on and, if necessary, cease all contact. Some hurt is inevitable, no matter how kindly you let them down.

 

I was fairly newly out of a long term relationship a few years back, met a nice chap at a party and met up for coffee/drinks a couple of times after that. I was totally honest about where I was at, but realised that it hadn't got through when he commented that "Once we've been on four or five dates, it's OK - I won't insist that you sleep with me!"

 

Needless to say, we didn't have the rest of the 'dates'...

 

Sometimes we need time to heal. Feeling angry with the ex, angry with ourselves, is part of that process, as is learning from the whole experience. We can be honest with others - and there were a few male friends I wouldn't have been without during that time - but ultimately we are not responsible for other people's feelings. If someone tells us they aren't ready for a relationship, and we continue to pursue it anyway - we are likely to get hurt. Hopefully your poor girl will be sadder and wiser for the experience!

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Im just here to say if u are badly broken by someone you once loved, take time and dont succumb to the instant gratification of having anothers affections because if u arent truly ready, it will only hurt someone and make u feel bad and bring back some of those hurt feelings u might have moved past. Its obv different for everyone but atleast for me i just wasnt ready and likely wont be for a while.

 

Yes. People who are broken up seem to think it's ok to date and/or have sex with someone new while they pine for the ex and then get surprised when the new person falls in love/gets attached. Really? Dating and/or sex is designed to explore and intensify feelings. That is actually natural. So inevitably someone gets hurt.

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