If a guy used prostitutes, do you think less of him?

[mrfloydian]

Hey! Its something Ive been wondering recently, and thought it would be interesting to see what you think.

So yeah, if a man has visited a prostitute and you find out, does it alter your opinion of said guy?

[mhowe]

That he pays for sex.

[Edmund Exley]

It only matters if it bothers you.

[Iggles]

Yes. It's not something I could get past. Signifies we don't share the same values about sex/physical intimacy at all.

[happpybear]

Oh hell yes.

[Bunney]

It is kind of filthy. yuck....

 

definitely not a very attractive detail to share with a love interest, if I were you I'd keep it to myself and make sure to not let it happen again.

[clueless11]

Oh heck. I wouldn't get past that either.

[savignon]

Yes. It's not something I could get past. Signifies we don't share the same values about sex/physical intimacy at all.

 

My thoughts exactly!!

[Lambert]

Yes. I mean really, he has to pay for it? Pretty pathetic and just scary.

[DancingFool]

Yes, except that it's not so much about thinking less of him as simply realizing we don't live on the same planet when it comes to certain important lifestyle choices. Of him as a human being, my opinion would stay the same. The only difference is that any romantic or potential romantic involvement would be completely off the table and out of question.

[Rmbrmelover]

In my opinion it's pretty gross. But exley is right, to each their own. Does it bother you?

[shelty24]

I think its the lowest of the low. Scum. I had this conversation with my bf and his friend recently and they agreed with me 100%. His friend works abroad with a bunch of men at a coal mine (i think) and the stories hes told us about some of these men (mostly married) is sick! He said half of them go to a strip club regularly or to brothels and ask him to go but he never would and hes single. He said its bad if youve gotta pay for it which it is.

 

id have no respect for a man who does this. I see it as an addiction or deep rooted insecurity. They should pay a therapist instead. If i found out my bf had ever done this (even single) id run a mile. Id never trust him again. To me sex is personal-it should only be shared with someone you care about and if hes capable of paying a prostitute then his values are totally different to mine and were simply not compatable..

 

some men make excuses (havnt had sex with my wife for years etc) soooo have you never heard of a freaking divorce? Seriously? Those pathetic excuses dont wash with me.. leave her if she wont sleep with you!!

[LC8328]

If it was a male friend, it wouldn't bother me because it's his life.

 

If it was a guy I liked or was actually involved with, then yes. It would disgust me actually. Every time I touched him I would wonder if one of those ladies touched this way. Or if they did things better than I did. And if he's thinking about it right now.

[MasterPo]

Probably not, but then I grew up in the military so it was a common thing. It was asked of me by potential girlfriends and I'd tell them, you tell me your number and name them and we can start interrogating me. Some answered ... some didn't. lol

[itsallgrand]

Depends what my opinion of him was to start out with. lol.

 

But would I ever, ever sleep with a man who had seen a prostie? No. Never would consider him an option for sex nor a relationship.

Ever.

[Batya33]

Depends what my opinion of him was to start out with. lol.

 

But would I ever, ever sleep with a man who had seen a prostie? No. Never would consider him an option for sex nor a relationship.

Ever.

 

Same here.

[ParisPaulette]

I'd have a hard time getting past that one. Not only for what it says about his character, but also that he happily paid a woman who might have been desperate and in very bad straits to get to that point. And he took advantage of that. Fine if someone wants to be a prostitute, but let's face it ladies and gents, most women and men who find themselves there are close to gone one way or another--emotionally, spiritually, physically. It's not a profession most choose happily and of their own free will and it always makes me wince when I see these articles and tv series that make it sound like the most glamorous thing instead of the dangerous, soul-sucking profession that it really is.

 

Yeah, sorry no. I'd look at him the same way I look at people who hunt lions in Africa--it's not okay with me and it's you getting something at the expense of another living being.

[tiredofvampires]

It would depend on how young he was when the incident happened, if it was just once vs. several times or a habit, and how he felt about it now.

 

Once when he was very young, very confused, very inexperienced, having emotional issues, but never again and looking back on it, he feels it was a product of misguidedness combined with immaturity? I can deal with that -- the statute of limitations has run out in that case. Provided he is currently an evolved and self-aware, mature person on my wavelength in other ways.

 

But if he did it several times or had a habit of it at any point, and/or he was past the teens/early 20's (very young adult period) when it happened...no. That shows a coping style, a personality, and a value system that doesn't jibe with me.

 

(I'm only relating this post to potential romantic partners, not friends. I can have friends who have done a variety of things I don't approve of, and this would be one of them -- to a point, I guess. If a married male friend was secretly seeing prostitutes, that's not someone I'd have much in common with or want to consort with much, but there are many variables in a friendship, so I have fewer hard-and-fast rules when it comes to friendship.)

[Fudgie]

I think it would show that he and I have different values when it comes to sex. I don't think there's actually anything morally wrong with two consenting adults exchanging money for sex. It's just not something that I myself would want to participate in for a variety of reasons. Increased risk of STDs for example and I personally only like have sex in LTRs because I only like sex when I love and am committed to the person. Outside of that, to me, it is not worth it or desirous. I get that other people, both men and women feel differently. And that's totally fine....I just wouldn't date them at all. We wouldn't be compatible.

 

So I guess, in other words, I wouldn't stop being friends with a guy for visiting a prostitute, but it would show me that we are incompatible and I wouldn't consider him for anything more than friendship.

 

Like TOV, I could forgive a one-time stint with a prostitute if he was young, confused, and kind of naive. Provided that he didn't want to do that again and didn't pick up any diseases.

 

 

My boyfriend and I are actually friends with a guy who is almost in his 30s, and he goes to strip clubs once in a while and pays girls for lap dances and whatnot. I know he has paid prostitutes too. To be honest, I just feel pity for him because he has to pay for a female to pay attention to him like that. He used to be engaged at one point. It's a pitiful thing, really. I am still friends with him though.

[shivamoon]

My boyfriend told me he has been with a few prostitutes. At first I was like 'gross', etc, then just teased him about it. I don't really care. Sex is sex, love is love.

[jonny15]

Yes. I mean really, he has to pay for it? Pretty pathetic and just scary.

 

Do you really think they're pathetic? Some guys just have to resort to it because they can't get it any other way.

 

Is it really any worse than some guy waiting for last call at a bar to try and bang some drunk woman?

 

Atleast the hooker/escort is sober.

[Fudgie]

You're right jonny it's really no better or worse than a guy who goes to bars and waits for a woman drunk enough to say yes to him.

 

I would not date a guy who picks up random girls for sex. To me, it says that he doesn't value sex like I do. We wouldn't work out.

[chitown9]

Men use prostitutes for various reasons. One of the reasons is because they have an avoidant personality disorder and using a prostitute takes the emotion out of the equation. So, for me, I would see using a prostitute as a red flag. In addition, I would see it as a problem because a person who uses a prostitute is engaging in risky behavior by exposing themself to the possibility of contracting some of the various diseases that are out there. ...chi

[jonny15]

You're right jonny it's really no better or worse than a guy who goes to bars and waits for a woman drunk enough to say yes to him.

 

I would not date a guy who picks up random girls for sex. To me, it says that he doesn't value sex like I do. We wouldn't work out.

 

I'd consider the guy at the bar to be worse. Not that i'm saying the escort loving guys are great, but the guy gettin with drunk women is far worse.

[rosephase]

I have had a couple of male partners who have seen sex workers. It doesn't bother me. And I really like a guy who can be honest about there sexual past. I have a couple of good friends who do sex work. Personally I find it interesting.