Jump to content

I don't want a LDR = feelings are not strong enough?


Anya28

Recommended Posts

I am wondering about this. There are men that have said it to me and distance was really big, like another continent.

 

This was after we established a connection. I just think that people are wired so that if they are in love, they would go to any lengths to keep that person.

 

Am I wrong?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is true, but I think in the case of long distance, there really can't be any other obstacles. If there are other things they don't like about you or are concerned about, then it may not be worth the work. Distance, in my opinion, only works if you're "soulmates".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LDR of that distance requires FAR MORE than just love. I think this depends on the individual, the relationship and the type of connection. There are also successful LDRs where they weren't soulmates or super in love. Mainly it worked as an LDR, someone moved to be with the other person and the relationship failed for other reasons. I know a couple of people personally who had that situation happen, the distance was quite great and it was surprising to see it end once they actually lived together. It also depends on the circumstances... for instance cultural differences, permanent vs. temporary moves, job opportunities, medical issues, etc.

 

I'm personally dealing with a similar situation (about to move to Australia in a couple of months from the USA) and have no idea if we are going to do the LDR thing or not. However, my situation is much easier because this is for a job relocation. I'm in a very high demand field and am in my mid-20s. I could easily quit my job after a year of working in AU (a dream come true for me) and come back to the USA. A year is long but doable. I'm not sure how other people could do the LDR thing without an end in sight or plans to make the big jump and move.

 

I really think LDRs of this level should be on a case by case basis. Also you should have spent quite a bit of in person time before attempting an LDR of that scale. These are just my thoughts, and I've been thinking about this a bunch recently.

 

EDIT: For the record me and the guy I'm seeing (have been seeing him for 3 months) have not even said "I love you." We are tip toeing around it, but even with that in mind, we have talked about an LDR and whether we could handle it for a year and what that means to us. Us verbally saying we love each other is not necessarily a prerequisite to doing this.

 

Also, in the past I attempted an LDR with someone of 3000 miles a few years ago (same country, different coasts). We never said I love you and this was after a short summer fling but he was super serious about the LDR. It didn't even end because of the distance either. I'm just telling you this because I think if you have a genuine connection with someone and feel strongly about them, think it can work and see an end to the long distance sometime in the next year or so... well I think that matters far more than just saying you love that person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would only commit to a LDR if we were actively working on HIM relocating to my city. In regards to two people living on different continents (assuming the two are native to the continent on which each lives), this would mean I would be actively petitioning a husband or finance to receive a spouse or fiancé visa to the USA because I'm 99.9999% sure that I don't want to live anywhere but where I live.

LDR...what a hassle... no thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...