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I hate this feeling so much I miss him like crazy but I know I don't want him back right now. He dump me and play games and gave me hope that he was still interested. But I just wanted to move on.

He still wish me happy birthday on my birthday but I wish he said nothing because then I know it's over...

 

We were together for 1 year and 3 months and after he broke up with me, three months later he in relationship with another girl who looks like me. 2 weeks later he unfriend me on facebook. But his Facebook is still covered in all photos of us and pictures of me. And it hurts so much and nun of the new girl or he just hiding them...

 

I don't want to be a stalker and I just want to move on. But I'm so confused because he broke up with me like we could get back together one day but couple days later ask him why and sound like he move on and no chance we getting back together but then played games with me. And before we broke up he said we need brake and we could get back together like our mates did...

 

I'm hurting for him but hurts me more like he doesn't give a . He will always be in my life because of our mates but i want to move on and get on track and pay attention to my future but I have him still im my head. ..

 

Please help. ..

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Its difficult, when your in the same circle of friends.. its really best to go no contact for as long as possible.. just so you can move on.. its difficult to do.. but it helps to remove reminders of them.. Facebook is one of the biggest reminders, and it not great when they pop up on your news feed...

 

My advice...remove anything that reminds you of him from you house.. put it in a box.. give it a friend to take care of.. With my breakup at the time.. I was fuelled by hate.. I threw everything away, and it felt good to do so.. Because he unfriended you.. you can go one better.. block him.. its not about him contacting you.. it just means if he is tagged in a status with one of your friends its less likely to appear you will never see photos of his.. it really helps to do that.

 

Being the one who was dumped is really hard.. you don't know where you stand, you tend to think maybe they will change there mind.. honestly that ship has sailed, he had his chance.. he moved on quickly, more fool him. He has created a rebound relationship they hardly ever last.. and if it doesn't.. You wont be there to be the door mat.. As now your going to move on.. When I was devastated over being dumped.. I remember sobbing on the phone to my best friend.. now im a man.. I shouldn't be doing this haha but I was.. and he said to me.. "its going to be difficult, but you will pick yourself up and you will find the one you should be with, someone far better.. because she never respected you by just dumping you" So I started the slow journey back to normality.. I was single again, I could do what I wanted, and I had fun (im not suggesting one night stands) 6 months later I was chasing a girl I really liked.. over 2 years later we are together and very happy.. the point is.. I was where you were, when everything was so raw, and I wanted her back so much.. Looking back now, I realise that she was never right for me, though I was so convinced at the time.

 

Be angry with him.. how dare he just end it and move on with his life, not giving you thought.. that anger is a great fuel and motivator to live your life, and its a great way to stick it back to them.. though my problem is I cant turn that hate off, I moved on, but she crops up from time to time in my head.. is it regret that im not with her? no its the fact that I was treated so badly.. how dare she.. So I moved on, while she was getting into crap relationships.. Karma is a B! itch haha

 

Good luck.. and read the advice on these pages.. just don't look for the loop hole or the way to get back with them.. its not there don't go looking for it.. I did for a while go looking, all you find is false hope and a diversion off the path of getting your heard right and finding the real one!

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I did block him and I want to move on... time will tell i take each day how it comes. I'm not going be the option he has when he lost everything. he didn't want me so he can get a life. My ex can play as much mine games he wants I'm not going be there to see them.

I'm going stay away from group but right now how my ex treating them, they not happy with him so I copping it.

 

Thank you for your help and all best for your relationship

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I feel your pain....I am just under 4 months post breakup. He finished with me and at first said that maybe we needed a break and then back in October we had an encounter where we ended up kissing etc. Anyway he has stuck to what he has always said that he cant cope with a relationship and I brought too much emotional baggage into our relationship from a previous one. Maybe thats true, maybe its not. I think that in a relationship you help each other through any insecurities and accept to bad as well as the good.

 

He has now met someone else, deleted me off FB, deleted all photos of us from both Instagram/Facebook and basically deleted me out of his life. Everything he has done shows that he no longer loves me and does not want me but I cannot help but want him back and want him to be with me.

 

I dont know whats wrong with me! I am trying so hard to get out there, see friends, exercise, I have a trip planned at the end of the month etc but nothing is working. I feel so sad and worthless.

 

Is time the key? Help please

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I wish he deletes all photos of us off Facebook but he still has them there and there's so many of them. Some people still think we still togather its crazy.

 

You know where you standand you can move on. It's just confusing because he kissed you. It just means he doesn't know what he wants. You are a girl he wants but emotionally you not. You don't need change but work through your issues and move on because if he wanted you he never let you go. Just take each day how goes and you find a guy that stand by you

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KSM1988

 

If you ignore a problem or fear it just doesnt go away. You said that your X said you brought in baggage from a past relationship. What exactly did he say it was and are you doing the same thing with this most recent X?

Its been 4 months and you dont have pictures, but do you have emails, texts, his phone number in your phone, what do you have that reminds you of him and why are you holding on the them?

 

 

Rabbit

You seemed to be focused on thinking that its a competition between you and this other chubby girl. You feel you lost out to a girl who was less worthy and its really bothering you. Relationships (before/after) is not about a competition, its about difference. You didnt 'lose' to this girl that you say kind of looks like you. She is different and its what your X wants right now. It makes you feel better to compare her to you saying "she kind of looks like me" thinking that your X is seeing another version of you. He is not seeing another version of you, if he wanted to see a version of you, he would see you.

He just did not want to be with you anymore. I dont know why and its perhaps nothing you did.

Just maybe God removed him from your life to make room for someone better...

Dont look at his FB or care...

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KSM1988

 

If you ignore a problem or fear it just doesnt go away. You said that your X said you brought in baggage from a past relationship. What exactly did he say it was and are you doing the same thing with this most recent X?

Its been 4 months and you dont have pictures, but do you have emails, texts, his phone number in your phone, what do you have that reminds you of him and why are you holding on the them?...

 

Basically I was with my ex ex for 6 years and during that time he broke up with me 3 times, text other girls behind my back and was not particularly interested in our physical relationship. This was my first serious relationship from 18. So eventually I broke up with him. Got into a disastrous rebound relationship whereby the guy ended up not being interested in me. I then waited a good few months and met my most recent ex M. Everything was great and I confided in him about my fears of physical rejection and how I had been made to feel. I felt we both opened up about our insecurities, generally and with ex partners. I admit I could be very sensitive about this issue and probably put pressure on him...anyway as the relationship began to deteriorate he became colder and colder, which hurt me more and more and he would say things that were so blunt that would play on my insecurities. It all came to a head when we were invited to go camping with his friends and he told me that he wanted to go adn he didnt care if i was there or not. In the end he went on his own....I should have walked out then (we lived together) but stuck it out for another couple of weeks until we got into an argument as he made me feel completely unwanted physically and wouldnt even put down his iPad and he ended it and I moved out 3 days later.

 

He says that I brought a lot of emotional baggage into the relationship and wore him down with arguments and didnt give him freedom.

 

That is the long and short of it......

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I hate this feeling so much I miss him like crazy but I know I don't want him back right now.
When you drop the "right now" part and change it up to "I don't want him back, ever"I think is when you'll finally stop missing him and you'll have ACTUALLY reached the stage of acceptance.

 

Work on that "right now" mind set and you'll start feeling better.

 

he doesn't give a . He will always be in my life because of our mates
If it takes you not hanging with your mutual mates then so be it. You don't want to stagnate yourself by being unable to emotionally unengage yourself because you're still involved with him in some way... even creeping his FB page is keeping you mired in this mess.

 

Stop ALL contact and all creeping activity and work on your recovery.

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Sounds like you have had a rough time to say the least. Have you tried just being single for a while? This way you can really find yourself and who you are. You started dating at 18 and went 6yrs, then rebounded to another guy then rubberbanded only a few months later into your most recent X. IMO you being non committed to anyone is good for you. You never really got a chance to be your own identity and its hard to find yourself when you are so into someone else.

Have you thought of getting professional help? Just to talk to someone who can sort out your feelings and thoughts because you might not know how to do that. Seeing a professional is rather liberating. But if that is not an option, then really focus in on yourself and you need to reflect and be honest with you and see how can things be better.

It takes two for a relationship to work and the guys you dove into were not willing to do that. Take time for you. Getting lost in someone is a good distraction because you dont have to look within yourself and solve problems. So use this time.

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Thank you! I have been seeking professional help since about May now. I thought that I was destrying the relationship with my ex and so sought professional help. I did make significant changes but it still wasnt good enough. He wasnt able to get past anything from the past and just withdrew further and further. It was very hard as I was working hard on understanding where my insecurity came from and then I would go home and he would reinforce the insecurity if that makes any sense. I know I am not perfect and I probably did bring problems into the relationship that I need to work through. I do believe though, that if he was 'The One' he would have wanted to help me with this and would have supported me and put as much effort into it as me. Maybe that is naive of me but I hope that is what I can find one day.

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Dont put too much weight on your shoulders. A lot of people go thru multiple heartbreaks before they find the right one. And I dont think that you should carry the burden of blame. No one is perfect and we all have problems, and the point is not trying to be perfect, we have to find the one that is perfect for us. You know you have issues you have to deal with and thats good you are facing them. In the long run its going to help you and your future guy tremendously.

But for now, work on you. Take a step back and find yourself and when life says its ready, someone will find you.

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The girl looks like me when I was chubby. I thought I was losing the plot when i first saw this but i know she looks like me so I show it to my mother and she agreed with me. I show it to my friends that were close to me and they agrad. I gave hints to why I don't want hang out with my ex to my friends that friends with him and they put it together and they all find it creepy.

 

The fact is, i feels like I been replaced. Why would anyone date someone that's looks like there ex but down graded. This coming from guy who chase me and never gave up, said i love you, i was the most important thing in his life but now he let me go. It's just confusing because is he letting go of me or he just playing games with my head because he could date anyone in this world and I wouldn't care but not a girl that looks like me.

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