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Reading these threads has been so helpful the past couple of months, never used any site like this before

 

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago after 2 and a half years together, we had the perfect relationship, our parents met and loved one another, we were best of friends spending a lot of time together and being there for each other during family issues the past year. We were planning on moving into our own place in the new year. We had our fair share of arguments always over silly things but always made up, until about 3 months ago, we had an argument over something silly and he used this to say we needed a couple of days apart to cool off. I gave him this but once a few days had passed he decided that the relationship was no longer what he wanted, that I was the 'best girlfriend' but he just wanted to spend some time on himself, his new job and his family. I was absolutely devastated, did the usual begging and pleading and then realised it was not helping. I then proceeded to do NC, this lasted 2 weeks until he broke it and messaged me saying he wasn't happy and he made the wrong choice, but still wasn't saying he wanted to get back together, so for the next 2 weeks we talked a little here and there until suddenly out of the blue on Facebook I see he's in a relationship with a girl I had never even heard of in the 2 years we were together, she's in university and lives 4/5 hours away from us so a LDR relationship (he doesn't drive either) this crushed me, and now months later I still can't get my head around it, I have a good job, a car which I drove him round everywhere in, and he's left me for a student who lives hundreds of miles away. We spoke recently after he found out I was talking to a boy and he completely flipped out, we are now back in NC. I am trying so hard to focus on myself and just hoping with a bit more time I will start to feel better

 

Is this classed as a rebound? We are both in our early twenties, at first I thought it could be GIGS but I'm not sure.

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It definitely sounds like GIGS to me. The man isn't kidding when he says he has no idea what he wants.

 

I know how much it hurts. My ex left me for another man.

 

The important thing here is to stay in NC and do not break it. He is in a relationship with another person. If you try to talk to him, you will just push him further away from you.

 

Give him time to realize what he has missed, and in the meantime make sure what he is "missing" is something great!

 

Improve yourself!

 

You're gonna be fine.

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The important thing here is to stay in NC and do not break it. He is in a relationship with another person. If you try to talk to him, you will just push him further away from you.

 

 

This hurts really bad. It is true.. stay NC because you will just be pushing him away. You are at an emotional state right now and he may have been cheating on you near the end of the relationship to rush into a relationship so quickly after. Talking to him while he is with someone else will only bring you pain and tears.

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Thankyou firefly2613, it makes me feel sick to my stomach I think no contact is for the best it just kills me that he's telling everyone he's happy and that everything's perfect when I'm the one picking up the pieces, I guess he's still in the honeymoon phase of his new relationship?

I'm worried that he'll only remember the arguments from our relationship and not all the good times we had over the 2 years we were together

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I'm so sorry this has happened.

 

I wouldn't say it's a *rebound* though.... and I wouldn't call it GIGS. It sounds like over time his feelings changed and, when faced with the decision of moving in together and committing to more of a future, he decided it wasn't right for him. Most likely this other girl popped up and became the final push of motivation he needed to end things.

 

It's VERY important that you give yourself a period of time without being in contact so you can start to heal from this without constantly re-injuring yourself -- and that includes NO MORE FACEBOOK!! Either BLOCK HIM -- not just "unfriend" or "delete" -- or just de-activate your account for a while until you can deal with blocking him (and all mutual friends).

 

I know this hurts now, but you CAN and WILL come through this a stronger, happier person in the end! You don't want to hear this, but he actually did you a favor by getting out now. If he had continued to stay with you out of obligation or convenience, while deep down not thinking you were someone he wanted to be with forever, it would hurt you even more down the line.

 

Here's a guide written by a member here that will help you: link removed

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I understand this but he was the one always pushing for commitment, a year ago he wanted to get engaged and we talked it through and decided we would wait a bit longer, and the past couple of months in our relationship it had been him pushing to get our own place together not me

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Everything he told you before the breakup.... is no longer in play. His feelings changed.

 

Many times dumpers are even MORE loving in the months before the breakup. It's like they're trying to convince not only you but themselves as well that everything's fine and nothing's changed.

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Yes I guess so, the last time we talked he told me the only reason he got into a relationship with this girl is because I went no contact and had been going out and hanging out with new people, just think everything he says is a load of BS!

 

Will continue NC and and carry on working on myself, he works around the corner from me, haven't seen him in 2 months so hopefully won't be bumping into him anytime soon!

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Nice of him to try and blame-shift about this other girl..... but I really hope you're not buying into that. He's just trying to feel less guilty and *pretend* he met this girl after ending it with you.

 

And yes, continue No Contact -- and that includes Facebook!!

 

Block him, for your own sake.

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