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Third Date - How to approach this? Can the girl innitiate?


alfalfa

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Hello,

 

So I have been two dates with this guy within the last 2 weeks. He initiated both dates. And both dates went absolutely amazing. We had good conversation, great chemistry, same sense of humour, and a lot of fun. It actually felt like we had known eachother a lot longer. He said a good 5 times during the second date that he really enjoys my company and wants to see me again very soon. We also ran into a couple of his friends at the lounge and he was not shy with putting his arm around me and being affectionate in front of them which I thought was a good sign. But in-between dates he is weird and hard to read with his communication and followups! He'll text me every couple of days but just general chit chat. I have texted him first a couple of times but usually it's him. 2 days ago we made third date plans for tomorrow (I mentioned doing something again soon and then he suggested the specific day), he said he is looking forward to it... I am supposed to make him dinner (I did not offer this on my own; it was a bet we made on the second date, whoever loses the bet has to make dinner on the next date lol). But that was 2 days ago and we didn't make specific plans for this dinner and I have not heard from him since.

 

Does this mean anything and what should I do now? I don't know if he's just taking things slow and assuming we have plans tomorrow and that they will happen, or if he doesn't really care. I don't want to appear needy because I'm the first one to followup on third date plans, even though he suggested the day and was the first to ask me out again on our second date (he also invited me out on the weekend but I said I had plans). So should I just wait until tomorrow and if I have not heard from him, text him then to make solid plans (though I will be annoyed if I have to do this as I feel like he should)? Or should I just text a "hey hows it going" today and chat but not mention plans tomorrow? Or... say nothing at all. I'm the one making dinner so I don't know if the ball is in my court to call him or what...

 

He seems VERY interested in person, and somewhat interested in-between dates but also a bit elusive. It's confusing.

 

Just some opinions on how I should proceed would be helpful!!

 

Thanks!

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OK, thanks guys! So you don't think it means he is un-interested that I haven't heard from him in a couple of days? I would like to at least get a hello from him before I reconfirm tomorrow's plans... But I might not get that. Should I wait until tomorrow (day of dinner plans) to text him to reconfirm? I feel like it might seem eager to do so today.

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OK, thanks guys! So you don't think it means he is un-interested that I haven't heard from him in a couple of days? I would like to at least get a hello from him before I reconfirm tomorrow's plans... But I might not get that. Should I wait until tomorrow (day of dinner plans) to text him to reconfirm? I feel like it might seem eager to do so today.

 

That's a different story. Personally, I would also like to at least hear from someone between dates and since you're like that, too, I'd suggest if you keep dating this guy, to bring it up at some point.

I would text today...it's not a matter of eagerness but a matter of confirming you have a date tomorrow. It's up to you how you'll word the text.

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That's a different story. Personally, I would also like to at least hear from someone between dates and since you're like that, too, I'd suggest if you keep dating this guy, to bring it up at some point.

I would text today...it's not a matter of eagerness but a matter of confirming you have a date tomorrow. It's up to you how you'll word the text.

 

I have heard from him in between dates. He texted me the next morning saying he had a great time, and we chatted a couple of times in between (our last date was one week ago). But just not as much as I would hope to. I'd still like to see him again though!

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On another note - Is dinner at home OK for a third date? I know I don't want him to spend the night. Just dinner and wine, maybe a movie, and then I hope he gets a sense of when it is time to leave as I have to work in the morning and don't want to rush it either. Do you think this sounds good for a third date or too personal?

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maybe should i ask if dinner is what he even wants to do first? like text "hey so is dinner what you would like to do tomorrow?" ..... or how should i word the next contact?

 

this is how the convo on sunday went:

 

blahblahblah chit chat

 

me: well enjoy the rest of your night, and let me know when you would like your dinner ;P

 

him: lol i'm off work monday and wednesday?

 

me: i could do wednesday

 

him: sounds good to me, i'm looking forward to it

 

The end.

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On another note - Is dinner at home OK for a third date? I know I don't want him to spend the night. Just dinner and wine, maybe a movie, and then I hope he gets a sense of when it is time to leave as I have to work in the morning and don't want to rush it either. Do you think this sounds good for a third date or too personal?

 

For me (and I stress the for me part), it is too personal, yes. One reason being that I wouldn't trust someone in my house unless I'd been with him for a while. In general, I avoid inviting guys that I don't know too well because I'm not sure if they'll expect sex or something...and another reason being what you said, that I won't be sure if they'll leave when I want them to leave! However, if you feel comfortable, that's all that matters.

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For me (and I stress the for me part), it is too personal, yes. One reason being that I wouldn't trust someone in my house unless I'd been with him for a while. In general, I avoid inviting guys that I don't know too well because I'm not sure if they'll expect sex or something...and another reason being what you said, that I won't be sure if they'll leave when I want them to leave! However, if you feel comfortable, that's all that matters.

 

I sort of agree with this. I kind of wish that I had suggested one more outing date before this at-home dinner date. But too late now... I can't really UN-invite him lol. I know it will be fun but that's why I'm a little hesitant what to text him about tomorrow. I do know that I don't want to sleep with him yet, so will stop before it gets to that point. Maybe if it gets to that point, suggest leaving the house for a beer or something? I hope he's a decent guy and won't disappear after I don't have sex with him!

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