My ex says he misses me a lot.

[Fount666]

He broke up with me after month ago. He kept texting me i ignored. But he tried so hard to get in touch with me. He texted me again say he misses me alot. I do miss him too, but i want him to know how hurt i was. Should i just say i miss you too? Or something like "awwww thats so sweet" what would you guys reply...thanks!

[lostgirl123]

don't say "awwww that's so sweet"

 

why did he break up with you?

[lavenderdove]

You do the adult thing... You ask him what he wants. Do you want him back? If you do, then you need to talk to him and ask him if he is calling because he wants you back. If he doesn't want you back, then missing you is irrelevant and he is just wasting your time. Plenty of people 'miss' their exes, but it doesn't mean they will change or even come back. You should only be talking to him if you want him back, and he says that he feels he made a mistake and wants to come back. Otherwise tell him you're not interested in the drama if he's not going to be your BF again.

[Kendahke]

He broke up with me after month ago. He kept texting me i ignored. But he tried so hard to get in touch with me. He texted me again say he misses me alot. I do miss him too, but i want him to know how hurt i was. Should i just say i miss you too? Or something like "awwww thats so sweet" what would you guys reply...thanks!

 

that's a sure fire way to squash any meaningful and transparent communications if you're just going to play him by saying "I miss you", blah blah blah when you want him to know how hurt you were by his actions.

 

I would ask him why he was contacting me; that it's nice that he's missing me, but the fact of the matter was what he did hurt you and until he coughs up an apology and does some atoning for it, there is nothing more to be discussed. Why are you sparing his feelings when he didn't spare your feelings?

 

Own your voice and tell him what you need out of him. Ask him what his intentions are in getting in contact with you. If what he says falls short of what you need, then hang up and go NC.

[tallydoo]

He broke up with me after month ago. He kept texting me i ignored. But he tried so hard to get in touch with me. He texted me again say he misses me alot. I do miss him too, but i want him to know how hurt i was. Should i just say i miss you too? Or something like "awwww thats so sweet" what would you guys reply...thanks!

 

I've always wanted to reply with "Okay, what are you going to do about it?" Regardless, whatever you say you need to find out what it is he wants. But don't just say "I miss you too" or "That's so sweet", it'll kill any chance of conversation.

[amipushy]

I agree with asking him what he wants. I wouldnt get my hopes up though. he knows where you live and if he REALLY wanted you back he would come knocking at your door and beg you to take him back. I know I would if I felt that I had made a terrible mistake.

[mhowe]

I had a guy (decades ago) break up with me. Afterwards, before I packed up to leave --- he said "you know I still love you".

 

My reply was: a fat lot of good that does me.

 

He didn't want to "take back" the break up. He continued to miss me, and our relationship. We never got back together.

[ParisPaulette]

What lavenderdove says, ask him what he wants. He may just be fishing for compliments or an ego boost or he may be regretting his decision, but you have to make him voice why he's suddenly contacting you. He'll either jump at the chance to reconcile or he'll back away and disappear when he realizes you want him to state what he wants. Either way you win, but remember "I miss you" isn't thee same thing as "I want to try with you again." Make him say it if that's true and don't accept the breadcrumbs otherwise.

[SooSad33]

I'm getting that now.. " I still love you" and " I miss you lots" etc. BUT he is not with me. He's still seeing someone else, so now, I don't even respond.

It's been just over 7 mos now. We had a 5 yr relation... IF he wants to 'be back in my life', he's NOT going to do it with another woman present!

I also informed him I can NOT be friends at this time... as I am trying to 'heal now & move on'. He may not be 'happy' about ti all BUT he made this bed, he can lie in it... oh well!

[Fount666]

What lavenderdove says, ask him what he wants. He may just be fishing for compliments or an ego boost or he may be regretting his decision, but you have to make him voice why he's suddenly contacting you. He'll either jump at the chance to reconcile or he'll back away and disappear when he realizes you want him to state what he wants. Either way you win, but remember "I miss you" isn't thee same thing as "I want to try with you again." Make him say it if that's true and don't accept the breadcrumbs otherwise.

 

Can you please give me an example way to ask him why is he

Contacing me? Should i just be direct or let he be the one who speaks.

What whould u ask him. Any answer would greatly appreciated.

FYI: I've moved back to my own country now. We're not in the same country now.

[mhowe]

Then ignore him. You aren't going to move back.

[Fount666]

I have a plan to go back someday and he just asked me when am i

Going back?? I'm so confused.

[mhowe]

He broke up with you. Someday isn't soon. Stop replying to him.

[ParisPaulette]

Can you please give me an example way to ask him why is he contacing me?

 

Just ask him, "Why the sudden need for contact, are you looking to get back with me or just feeling lonely?" And then see what he says. If he says anything and doesn't just go radio silent on you. However now that I see you're both in different countries I am going to tell you that you're probably better off to let it all lay where it is and move on and do nothing. I say that because he broke it off with you before you left and now, even if you both pick it back up, you won't be there to really and truly reconnect with each other. And sooner or later one or both of you will get frustrated by the distance thing and break it off again. Long distance relationships are hard at best when two people have been together for a long time. Trying to rekindle something with someone who's a continent away that broke it off with you? Nearly impossible.

 

I think you're better off to ignore him and move on. Yes, you'll be going back but it sounds like that isn't for some time. Both of you can and probably will find people right there who can be with you in person building a relationship, not clinging to the remnants of something that was with a promise of someday. I know it hurts, but he hasn't really shown you he wants to get back with you. Just that he misses you. And someone can miss you and still not want you back. I'd think it over pretty heavily first. There's also a possibility that now he feels "safe" in reaching back out to you since he knows you're too far away to really do anything--i.e. make him give up his newfound freedom. And getting lured into a time-sucking long-distance relationship with an ex is not something that usually ends happily. I've seen more than one instance, okay alot, that came down to one of the parties just being lonely and bored and starting it all back up over long distance. Until the other person is back in town or moves back and then suddenly they're nowhere to be found again, because the intention was never to have a real relationship--just a fantasy where no real work or day-to-day living togetehr was involved.

 

No, on second thought I'd say don't respond