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Do believe in one soulmate for each person?


milly007

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A wise friend of mine has always told me that who is for us, or what is for us (i.e. love), won't pass us by.

 

I met an amazing man over a year ago and we hit it off instantly. I pulled away because I was scared. I can't remember the last time I felt that way about someone, if at all (and I've met many men). He became frustrated with our situation (we met online) because we weren't spending as much time together as he wanted. I also acknowledge that I found myself pulling away. Not only was I scared of getting close to him (because I didn't want to get hurt), but he wanted live in a small town where I couldn't see myself living, and I've been hoping to move into the city. He met someone soon after me and now they're engaged (as of a month ago). I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, because I am. I keep telling myself that it just wasn't meant to be, and that I'll eventually find someone just as great, or better.

 

My question is, do you believe that we each have a soulmate, or that there are multiple soulmates for each person in this world?

 

I'm hoping I have more than one, because I really let a good guy go.

 

Thoughts?

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I don't believe there is just one... I think there are many people that you could possibly connect with and feel that. Furthermore, I think people throw that soulmate word around all the time and when I hear someone say it, I think it's a little weird. I can't live my life looking for a soulmate... That's a lot of pressure. At this point I just hope to meet someone cool that treats me well and I do the same....

 

There have been men in my life that either I wasn't into at the time or they weren't into me.... Call it timing was off. And sometimes when I don't have a boyfriend I find myself saying maybe I missed my mr right. But if I am really honest with myself, I know they just weren't for me.

 

I thin you might be remembering things as better than they were...because really if you think about it, why would you be scared of your soul mate? You wouldn't because that goes against the definition of soul mates.

 

If it was meant to be it would. Maybe you are just pining for a love like that and knowing he find someone to spend his life with and you haven't yet, makes you a little sad.

 

You have not missed your soulmate.....

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No, I don't. I think it's a very bad habit to think that and quite possibly a dangerous view to take in that it can fool people into thinking they must stay with someone who's abusive, because he/she is their "soul mate." I don't think love is a finite quantity and I think each person we love and have a relationship with can bring something new that enhances or detracts from us in some way that no one else ever will. I do think there are people who are more righ for us and others who are more wrong. The trick is to find the ones who are right, who enhance our lives and make us better, stronger, happier people for knowing them. To that end I've known a fair number of people who qualify and not all of them have been lovers or BFs or even husbands.

 

I also think that we are each of us complete in ourselves from the beginning. And we should focus on that as our base of happiness then be happy when we get to share that with anyone who adds to what we already are. I think it's a bit arrogant to assume that someone else has to come along to complete your soul or match it in some way. That's just my own take on it and I know my views aren't always the popular one.

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I don't believe in soulmates, period. There are many, many people you could be compatible with. There are also many people that you could be happy with. I really cringe at the idea of "soulmates" because it's this sort of thinking that makes people "stuck" on exes and unable to move on. How many times have we read "My ex was my SOULMATE! *cry*" on here? Really, I think that sort of thinking is actually harmful.

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Thank you for the replies. I know it wasn't meant to be with him, but we were more compatible than anyone else I've ever met before (but more than anything, he was the sweetest guy I've ever met). I've never met anyone like him before. I was so scared of being hurt, but at the same time, it bothered me that he was looking to move away from the city (and he did move away; he moved to my small town from the city), whereas I was looking to move out of our small town and into the city. Sometimes I blame myself for not compromising on something so small (i.e. - living in a small town), but I do think I made the best choice for me. When I explained my reservations to my mom, and the fact that I couldn't be with someone who wanted to live here, in our small town, she had a hard time believing me and said "It must've been more than that. That couldn't be the reason why things didn't work out. Must be more to that story." And when she asked me that, I thought about how surprised I was at myself when I first came to realize that I'm about to possibly let a good guy go because he wants to live in small town. I guess it may seem like a small reason, but it wasn't. I'm sad at how things worked out, but I know it was for the best. Here's hoping an even sweeter guy (who wants to live in the city) is in my near future. I'm not about to compromise though, that's for sure.

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I think there are multiple people that everyone is compatible with/can be happy for the rest of their lives with.

 

I thought my ex was my soulmate and I couldn't imagine being happier with anyone else. Until I met my current boyfriend, who makes me happier in ways that my ex never attempted to.

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I don't know that I necessarily believe in "soul mates" because I think that would be too impossible to imagine that there is only ONE person for everyone on the planet. I think there are people that are more compatible for them than others, but can you imagine how difficult it would be to find that ONE person if only one exists? And if anything happened to that person, then what?

 

That said, I fully believe that my husband is the only person I ever want to be with. I was more than happy single before I met him and if anything were to happen to him, I can't imagine ever wanting to even bother attempting to date again. I would probably just live out my life single. But that's just me.

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I think that feeling of having a soulmate is just a combination of reaching a certain degree of intimacy with someone and being fixated with them to the point of being blind to anyone else. It's a subjective thing; a trick that love plays on us to overcome the reality that nobody is truly perfect and given enough time people will change, but you have to look beyond that to have a long term relationship with anyone.

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I heard once that a statistician actually did a statistical study on the probability of finding a soulmate. I don't have any of the details so I don't know what variables or indicators or data he or she used. The number he or she calculated was somewhere around 6 000-ish out of a population of about 6 billion at the time. So that's about one in a million.

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"Soulmates" is basically a term used for someone with whom you are completely compatible with - and connect with - on many levels. I DON'T believe that you find this in just one person alone. You can find it in many people who cross our paths at a particular time and I believe you can find a "soulmate" in a friend as well as a partner. The only difference with a partner is that you also connect on an emotional level.

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I think people who believe in soul mates are in danger of becoming co-dependent. I think its very harmful to think only this person can make me this happy or I will never love someone that much again or nobody else will love me like that etc.. it leads to people fighting to make something work that is already well and truly broken.. it prevents people from moving on and getting over the past, it encourages people to stay with someone who has hurt them etc

 

no you dont have one soul mate. Soul mates dont exist. You could be compatable with numerous people. You could love the next person ten times more and realize what you taught was love-really was not love at all.

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