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How to proceed when the semester ends?


psycho magnet

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Ok, so in my last post I mentioned that I am a TA and my current student has a crush on me (I'm pretty sure). I also mentioned that I have been very careful to keep her at a distance and be nice and accommodating but professional. I think I have pulled that off pretty well, but with difficulty because I do like her and we have a lot in common.

 

We had lunch at school a few times recently, and both times the conversation got progressively more personal. For example, she told me that she took an online test which suggests that she would be best matched with a man at least 7 years older than her (I am roughly that much older than her and she knows it). She's said many other things like that. Even when I try to get the conversation back to professional stuff, she keeps inquiring into my personal life.

 

BUT, she will no longer be my student in a little over a week. We even have an informal plan to take a hike together a couple days after class ends.

 

What I'm asking for is advice on how to proceed once the class ends. I don't want to screw it up, as I have done in the past. Should I just take the hike and take things slow, just to see what develops?

 

That's an option, but on the other hand after that we will both be going home for Christmas and won't see each other for at least a couple weeks. That almost makes me want to confess my feelings for her before then, but in a way that is not awkward and gives her options. For example, once we are alone, I was thinking of telling her that I've really enjoyed talking with her this semester and that I hope we can hang out more in the future. I want to tell her that I think I like her in a way that goes beyond friendship, but that if she does not feel the same way I would still like to be friends with her (which is true—either way I want her in my life).

 

She could think about this over the break, if she needs to. After all, despite all her compliments and personal questions for me, it's still possible that she does not want to date me.

 

Advice?

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I vote for telling her on the hike. I also agree, tell her you really enjoy talking w/ her and you want to hang out in the future but for me telling her you like her beyond friendship might be a bit much. If you start w/ I really like your company and I'd love to spend more time together it lets you see how she feels and you can take it from there. That's just my opinion and everyone is different so you have to go w/ your heart. During the break you can still text and talk and have some fun making plans for when you return. Good luck!

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Thanks for the advice folks. I'm pretty much with you Lionhuntress. But I guess I am still torn on what/when I should tell her, but let me add some more info.

 

Social Stigma, we already have exchanged numbers (it started on a professional level so we could meet to discuss her work) and she's been texting me from time to time with pretty informal stuff (which I never initiate). In fact, she asked if she could meet me after class via text last night, I said why not, and we met and just talked. She was absolutely glowing to see me (I know the look), and she was more dressed up than usual.

 

jjkk, considering this, do you think I should still not tell her I might like her beyond friendship?

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Good point Greatone. In fact, recently we were talking and she mentioned some movies she wants to see. I jokingly suggested going to one in the theater and she immediately said yes and asked when. I even told her that she could say no and I wouldn't be offended if she had family stuff to plan or anything. But she insisted that she really wanted to go. So now we are going to a movie before the hike (but still when she is no longer my student).

 

I'm definitely going to tell her now after the movie!

 

That's something I've really learned in the past year: when a girl is into you she will not say no, and if she does she will have a good reason and want to reschedule. I used to waste so much time with girls who weren't interested because I thought her no meant yes, or some such nonsense.

 

Anyway, I'm excited.

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