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Don't know what to do?


Natasha27

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Hi,

 

I have started talking to this guy, it's been five to six weeks as of now. He pursued the interest at first and would ring me all the time. He is a very busy man but would still make the time to call me. At the start it wasn't like this, where he was calling me all the time, which is totally understandable. In the past two weeks he started saying that he is developing feelings for me, as he feels very comfortable talking to me. He suggested that we meet up a few times, but i refused as i want to be comfortable and ready before meeting someone.

 

On friday, just gone by, he called me as usual and we were talking, he asked me what i am doing, and i told him that i am just relaxing and alone and he asked how my kids are, and i said that they are at their dads. He was about to fall asleep, but as soon as i said this, he woke up, and jamp out of his bed and said to me that he is coming to see me! i did not know what to say, as i did not feel ready plus the time too, it was very late and i was not looking my best either, more of a plain jane. He said he does not care, about anything and wants to say a quick hi as he has been waiting over five weeks. So, he reached my town and rang me asking for my post code, which i gave as i then felt, no harm in saying a quick hi. He did not ask me to invite him in. Instead he parked up near my house, right infront and i went out to say hi.

 

I sorted myself out a bit, and put a bit of make up on, not much. was just myself, really. He talked to me, and said that he is glad to see me finally, and he asked how i am etc. Until he asked me to give him my hand, which i did, then he hugged me, which a pretty long hug, Then he kissed me, saying he missed me. It felt real, i don't know, but it felt like something? he then said to me that i am very beautiful and gorgeous and i apologised for not making an effort, and when we meet next i will wear something nice, put some lipstick on and do my hair, he said you don't need to, with a smile. I have a scar on my forehead,, which was caused by my ex partner and he asked what happened here, i just made some story up, that i had an accident when i was a kid, he kissed my scar and said there it's better now.

 

He came closer to me and rested his head on my shoulder and we just spoke, and after every few minutes he just pulled me in for a kiss. we did not have any other physical contact, whatsoever. His hands did not go anywhere else either. Until it reached 3.30 and i said that we should leave, he walked me to my door and before i left, he hugged me and kissed me and said call me when u get in. He gave me flowers too, red roses, and apologised it's nothing expensive, i said i don't care and even if he tore a flower of some bush, i would treasure that. I rang him and i spoke to him on his way home, when he got in he still spoke to me for another half an hour, until we both fell asleep.

 

That night, i asked him what he is doing on saturday evening, he said that he has got to go to a meeting and has a few things going on, which i knew is the truth as he told me this last week. I said that it would be nice to see him again properly on saturday evening, he said that it's a bit late notice but he can try. Saturday morning he text me saying morning, and told me that he missed his training for his fight in two weeks. I text him back and then fell asleep as i was too tired from night before. He tried calling me, but i was asleep and missed his call. In the afternoon, i tried calling him but he did not answer, he text me saying that he will call in 30 mins, i waited for over an hour he did not call. until i text him asking what the plans are for tonight, if he does not want to see me as he is busy then i can get my kids back and spend time with them, he said he has left a meeting and he is going to see his mum and he will call me. He did not call, and it reached past 7pm, so i assumed he is busy and left it, until he text me at 8pm, saying he fell asleep on his mums sofa, as he was v tired and got in at 5 am, and did not get no sleep as he was up at 9 and then had a busy day. He said he has a headache. i called him at 9 to see how he is, he picked up and he was at his mothers, as i could hear her talking in the background.

 

He said he will call me back, i said i am at my mums, he said ok, text me when ur home and i will call you, i text him as soon as i got in, and no reply i rang him, no answer. I received a text the next morning saying sorry, i was not well, i took tablets and went straight to bed, and he apologised for not talking to me last night. I text back after 5 hours, saying don't worry, i understand and that i am glad he has now recovered. I only took 5 hours to reply because i do not want him to think that i am desperate or my life evolves around him, though i very much like him and i am not playing a game but one has to value themselves and put their needs first too we all want to feel wanted and someone to make that effort.

 

Until he text me straight after my text saying how busy his day has been and he has trained hard for his fight in two weeks, how he went down to his office to sort out some paper work and then he took his aunt and mother out to do some shopping, i replied back saying that's nice. He did not reply, until i accidentally dialled his number last night, and then text him saying that it was an accident. I felt frustrated as to why is he not calling me? so i sent him a text saying, though i accidentally hit his number, it would be nice to hear from him as we have not spoken much, and its not usually like him, and have i done something wrong or is he having second thoughts. After sending that message i felt like a complete idiot. but left it, as i could do nothing about it now as it had already been sent. I was going through an emotional whirlwind last night, thinking what is going on? does he like me? but then i though if he did not like me, he would not have kissed me, stayed parked up for two hours, called when he was going home and spoke to me once home, called the next day and kept texting me letting me know what hes doing? but then i thought maybe he is doing all this to hint at me, hint at me that he does not want to call me and i should get the message? i dont know. but in his messages hes referring to me as baby and gorgeous? so i am a bit baffled.

 

I thought my message would freak him out, but in the morning today at 8.30 am as soon as he woke up he sent me a text saying good morning gorgeous, its freezing outside, i am going to drive to scotland today have a meeting, then he text me saying please call me when ur awake and free. I did not reply until after an hour, i said morning back to him and that that's bad he has to go as its more cold in scotland? (as weird as that may sound )lol. He read my text at 4.pm as i saw that from the iphone message receipt, he text me saying baby it's freezing here, and he forgot his hands free kit like a dope in his other car. (Other car is in the car he come to see me in on friday night) well, i am guessing as he had his hands free kit in that car that day but he took his other car, four wheel drive to scotland. i have not text after that and neither did i call him. I seriously dont know what to do. I don't know what to believe, part of me says that he likes me then another part of me says he is trying to hint out to me that hes not interested in me, by promising to call but he never does and comes out with excuses, later for why he did not call and cannot call. But then a part of me says that cannot be true? because he would not text me then? I feel down, don't know what to believe.

 

I am not no needy or desperate person and neither am i insecure, i genuinely like this guy, and i have been in the company of a male in a very long time, plus those kisses meant something to me, hence i feel so upset. Am i doing the right thing by not calling him? though he asked me to call, i still did not call, as i felt he should pursue it now, plus he has been saying since two days he will call but hasn't. I don't know whats going on..any advice would be much appreciated please.

 

thanks xxxx

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He just sounds very busy to me..which you knew from the start. It's just that after you met, everything takes on a different meaning in your eyes.

If I were you, if I felt like listening to his voice, I would call him. His reasons for not calling sound valid. And another thing..you'll know for sure if he's interested if/when he makes plans for a 'real' date. If, say, a couple of weeks go by and he still hasn't suggested to meet again, then, I would be worried. For now, I see no reason to.

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Hi,

 

thanks for that, very kind of you to reply. Yeh, maybe your'e right, but the thing is i know he is busy, but in the past he was busy too but would still ring me? he was always on the phone to me, hence i feel what has changed now, that all of a sudden he cannot even find five minutes to ring me? or maybe it's me just over thinking it. I am going to wait for him to ring me for now, as i have attempted many times, though he did ask me to call him today but i felt i should not, as i rather he ring me, do you think that would be ok too? coz if he does ring then i will know it was just me and my brain thinking that, but if he doesnt then i will know maybe he was trying to hint at something. I stilll dont get why he texts me though, makes no sense and in his texts he refers to me as baby????

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I think some of it is overthinking,because trust me I do the same thing and have to step back and look at things from 30000 feet. If he asked you to call him I would, if you play the he should call me think he might not know he is playing that game. If you get no answer leave a message with a simple tag you're it call me when your free. By not calling he might be taking it as you are not interested in him any long so a no win situation for both of you.

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Hi Kas2323, thanks for the reply, very kind of you also.

 

Yeh, i guess u are right, i did not think of as it like that? hmmm i will call him tonight later on in the evening since he asked me to call, plus he could think that i am also not interested because ever since we met he has been the one pursuing the contact, i.e he has been the one who has been texting first, and then i have been replying. N yeh me not calling may as well give him the impression that i am not that interested in him any more. And him suggesting the "real date" thing, is so true. I guess i should call him as he asked me to, if he does not answer, i will then wait for him to call me back, if he still doesn't then i will just leave it and see what happens? i guess it's too early to judge now.

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ok, he just tried calling me! i was meaning to call him in the evening but he just tried calling me now. i wanted to answer but didn't as i feel too scared to answer the phone now. I Know it sounds a bit crazy but i don't know why i am feeling scared to answer the phone.. i dont know.

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Update, i finally mustered the courage to call him back, after 30 mins i rang him back, and i got cut off after 6 seconds of the call. I then tried to call him back, he answered and said "love i will call you back, sorry, one minute, i am sorry...." n i said ok and he was talking saying he will call me back sorry and i cut him off.

 

Im just starting to think, that is this some kind of a joke he is playing on me? i am seriously getting annoyed now. Since saturday he has been saying he will call me back? he rings me today, i miss his call then call back n he says again he will call me back??

 

I'm getting confused now, seems like its some kinda pathetic joke

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I think, sorry to say, he wasn't so dazzled by seeing you in person and he has lost a lot of interest. I doubt he is really that busy but rather dating others. Just my gut.

 

I think you two spoke for two long before meeting. He might have had this fantasy built up and it's very easy to feel disappointed when the fantasy is not what you imagine in real life.

 

I would keep it moving. He seems like he is trying to fade on you.

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Hi, thanks for ur reply, very kind of u. I totally understand what ur saying but if that was the case then why would he keep kissing me when we met? he even took the red roses out from his boot and gave them to me and again gave me a deep passionate kiss before we left for home? And after that he has been texting me referring to me as baby and gorgeous, that's what i am confused about? he even gave me a love bite before i went in, saying i am his now???

 

I rang him today morning and he called back saying, it's nothing like that, and that i am being silly, n i just left it at that, lets see what happens. i totally get what ur saying and even i was thinking that too, but then when i think about how he kissed me etc, it kinda does not add up?

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oh and another thing that i forgot to mention when we spoke in the morning, i said to him that i have missed him, and he said "that's excellent" whats all that about? i said to him if he doesnt want to talk to me no more, i will not contact him, he started shouting saying shut the f up and dont be silly, i would never want that or say something like that in a million years if i dont mean it, i said it again and he said will u be quiet before i come there n kick shi* out of u?? he said he has to go train now and will call me back but he didnt.

 

He said he is taking his sister n brother in law to the hospital today, round abouts 1.30pm his call come through he accidentally connected me, but wasnt talking? i could hear him talking in the background asking someone what time is their appointment? i just kinda figured out that he must have hit my number in error. so i cut him off.

 

i seriously am confused n dont know what to do? so many mixed signals?

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UPDATE I was very down today n thought that's it, i'm moving on and ending all this head baffling situation,i txt him saying that i hate how i am feeling, and that i am hurt and said to him that i will make it easier for him and never contact him again and bye. that's the txt i sent him. He rings me at 8pm, i did not answer, after his fourth attempt i picked up and spoke to him. He sounded quiet upset and said he did not even read my text, as he knew it would be upsetting, he only read the last line which said good bye. He then asked me to read my text, that i sent him, i refused as i felt rather embarassed. He told me to hold the line, and read my text to me and after reading it, he asked me what is this nonsense. I just told him, it's how i felt, he was surprised as he could not understand what he has done wrong, i explained to him how i was over thinking. He said he is very sorry and asked me to forgive him. He explained how he has been running around like a headless chicken.

 

Saturday he was tired and not well, because of staying up till 5 when he met me, sunday he was busy with his mother and aunt and monday he spent 6 hours on the road driving to scotland, he sent me snap shots of how many unread txts he had and missed calls from others, i did not ask for them he sent them himself. He said he adores me and he feels awful that i was feeling like this. He said he does not want to lose me, and he is coming to see me tomorrow and dedicating tomorrow to me i am so excited and i am sooo happy, i guess sometimes we over think things. Wish me luck, i am sooooo happy wooo hoo!!! xxxx

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