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Is there a limit / boundary I should respect regarding teachers?


elsenyor

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2 girls, both my teachers, different time periods.

 

Girl 1, a while back (2 years ago) I went to an academy to study for a college entrance exam (since it was in a foreign language I needed the help) and I got along with the teacher, eventually we started talking and at this same time I met my ex. It got to a point without sleeping with either of them where I had to decide between her and my teacher... but then I thought "it's better to stay away from my teacher" and so I did... it wasn't a lost opportunity nor do I regret it but we have now started seeing each other more frequently (no hooking up or kissing yet, but if I keep seeing her it's inevitable, she did a lot of chasing back in the day and she's still very receptive to me). However if I ever need to go back to the academy or anything of the sort... this might not work in my favor.... Also she's 28 and I'm about to turn 23, so we might be looking for different things in life.

 

Girl 2, a year ago while I was with my ex I had a very attractive teacher in my uni, I sat in the back but it always felt like she was observing me, then eventually I went to set in the front row. I still had the same sensation, sometimes we talked and she was very intrigued by me and then I had dropped out of uni but I did keep in contact with some friends. Apparently she asked frequently about me to my friends and today I ran into her before going to take my exam. She was walking down the hall with another teacher and she stopped her conversation short with the other person and came to talk to me, we had a 10 - 15 min convo about life, where she's living, she was asking a lot about me, saying she heard i had dropped out and she's happy to see me (etc) and she started saying she remembered certain facts about me. She was my monitor for my exam to ensure the students didn't cheat or anything but even during this whole time she kept looking at me, and while walking around the class she would post up next to me and just stand there. Lots of students think she's into me so it's not just my imagination. Would it be absurd for me to ask for her # considering she was my uni teacher and/or that it could affect my studies in some other way I'm currently unaware of? (she's also in her late 20s, don't know the exact age)

 

I feel like I always find reasons NOT to go for a girl I find attractive unless I'm out partying and meet a girl as a byproduct of me having fun. In these cases I feel like their could be repercussions of some sort.

 

Note: I'm not looking for anything serious as I'm still emotionally unavailable.

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Students frequently confuse a teacher's interest in helping their students with some kind of romantic attraction. In fact, most teachers are NOT supposed to date any active students, and can be fired for it.

 

I suggest that you look elsewhere for people to date. I could be very awkward if you proposition a teacher and they have to reject you. If you are no longer a student at the school you could try it, but don't be surprised if you get rejected.

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Students frequently confuse a teacher's interest in helping their students with some kind of romantic attraction. In fact, most teachers are NOT supposed to date any active students, and can be fired for it.

 

I suggest that you look elsewhere for people to date. I could be very awkward if you proposition a teacher and they have to reject you. If you are no longer a student at the school you could try it, but don't be surprised if you get rejected.

 

i'm fairly good at not projecting my own interest levels on someone and actually reading their signs.

 

the first girl i've already been seeing, she's done a lot of chasing, texts me plenty outside of the educational environment, always insists on meeting up, going on dinners etc etc

 

second girl, this isn't a case of mistaken attraction I'm certain of it because she's very flirty with me, and she's no longer my teacher nor a teacher she did it for 1 year. now she's doing TA work, however I do agree that she may HAVE TO reject in any case because she's still a part of the staff and that would definitely cause an awkward situation. it's a shame she's quite a catch heh.

 

thanks for your response, it looks like i'll stick to the rationalizing of it not being a good idea

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First... I hope these aren't 'girls', but women? lol

Second.. I suggest YOU slow it down.. you've gone from interest with 2 women.. to keeping up with a past teacher and NOW to ask about another teacher?

 

Can u not just 'like' one you've held an interest in for a while?

Also, like other poster mentioned^^, Don't mistake their 'assisting' you with anything more.

 

AND, don't think it's all about you. Some of these women may actually already be 'involved'. IF you think you shld even go there- with a 'teacher'.

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First... I hope these aren't 'girls', but women? lol

yeah they're women lol, I find it hard to call a woman in their 20's - 30's a woman... they just don't seem like it to me... I think it happens to some females too that they don't call 20 year olds "men" they're still pretty much boys. Physically though I look like I could be 28 - 30, I just ooze masculinity or so I've been told (I'm like a heterosexual version of Zachary Quinto), and other women don't stop telling me they can't wait till I hit 40 because with age I'm of the type that's likely only to get better looking xd. So I often feel like I'm dealing with "younger" women. Women are just so tiny and small and cute

 

Second.. I suggest YOU slow it down.. you've gone from interest with 2 women.. to keeping up with a past teacher and NOW to ask about another teacher?

 

Can u not just 'like' one you've held an interest in for a while?

The interest I've held is mostly from an attraction stand point, I want to get to know them outside of the work environment. Like woman #1 I've started getting to know her, if I LIKED them I wouldn't be looking for another interest, i give them a chance to see if they meet my "fun" criteria if not I lose interest. I'm looking for someone who attracts me and is fun to be with, same sense of humor, etc etc, doesn't even have to be romantic interest just the interactions have to be that way. My FWB right now does not do it (she's aware of this though, so there's no surprises).

 

Just keeping my options open.

 

Also, like other poster mentioned^^, Don't mistake their 'assisting' you with anything more.

I'm not, MAYBE with woman #2 I could be projecting to some degree, but the conversation was heading towards meeting up in the town center before another teacher interrupted our convo because the exam had to take place. I wasn't going to follow up on that in front of other students / teachers when turning in my exam

 

AND, don't think it's all about you. Some of these women may actually already be 'involved'. IF you think you shld even go there- with a 'teacher'.

They're not no worries there, woman #1 is looking forward to me getting back from my ski trip so she can see me again, hell she even sent me an email a while back to move in with her while I was with my ex, I never responded, just deleted it.

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I think you are definitely projecting in the case of woman #2. I think she genuinely likes you as a person and her conversation doesn't suggest anything more. You had dropped out, so she was curious about what happened is all.

 

I think you should go join other activities where you meet women other than those that are your teachers.

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