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Hey guys, gonna try to keep this as short as possible.

 

My gf (abroad) broke up with me due to loss of feelings and we ended our relationship 7 months ago (we dated for almost a year). To my surprise she was visiting the country and I saw her by chance last monday. My heart sank when i saw her, she had a huge smile on her face as I approached her. The meeting was short and mature and quite pleasant, I told her I had to go and left.

 

A few days later (im in a band) she came alone to watch the band and basically sat alone till the end of the show. Afterwards I went up to her and told her I would give her my goodbyes that same night since she was traveling the next day. We hugged, and it was quite intimate and intense, the chemistry was definitely still there (we used to have this thing, she would always place her hands on my head, it was the equivalent of holding hands i guess? sounds silly), and while hugging she placed her hand on my head, which was shocking to me...so we backed away, I just said it was good to see her and left but was very tempted to go back to her.

 

I went home and the next day to my surprise she messaged me and asked to meet up with me before she left...it was one of the hardest thing in the world but I said no it was not such a good idea...she said she understood and that it was great to see me, and hopes to see me on her next trip.

 

Can someone please tell me whats going on here? I mean, we broke up 7 months ago, it was her choice, not mine, she made her decision and I practically thought she was over me a week after we broke up. Why did she msg me to see her even though i made it clear that i wanted to say goodbye that one night. Am i missing something here? Im thinking of opening my lines of communication with her again via text, I dunno. Bit confused. I know im not over this girl, and from our chemistry while she was here, I had a feeling she wasn't either. Any help would be appreciated.

 

Sorry for the short post ;D

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I think it was for nostalgic reasons on her side. It didn't mean she wanted to get back with you or anything. After all, it was only by chance you ran into each other. There can still be chemistry and there can be feelings, but she broke up with you for a reason and there's nothing to say that that reason no longer applies, otherwise you would have heard about it. You did very well to say no to meeting up at the end. I would not text her, it would only open up the old wounds and throw you into chaos. She would respond for nostalgic reasons but not for the reasons you would be hoping for.

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It wasn't by chance (sorry for the misleading sentence i wrote, by chance as in, I ran into her there without prior plans) that I ran into her, she was at my favorite hangout and knows I will be there eventually. And on top of that,the last night i said bye to her, she was kind of sad/pissed that I would not be seeing her on her last day.

 

And i Know this girl, she doesn't show this kind of affection, and shes quite a proud person, on top of it, the last thing I could ever imagine was her messaging me after I clearly told her that I would be saying bye.

 

These thoughts just don't add up to me.

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It is normal to keep 'feelings' for the other, after a break up- which can go on for a while...

BUT, remember, the break up was for reasons.

 

She knew you'd have feelings to and asides from 'happy to see you'. The reasons are still there.

 

For your own health & heart, I suggest you keep going- away- from her. Do NOT go backwards with this. Do not 'open' communications again.

 

She is gone again... and this 'time' you spent with her is done now. It may have 'set you back' a few ways, is all.

But- keep going forward... right?

 

tc

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That's exactly what Im thinking, I need to move forward and our meetings DID set me back a bit.

 

However, the only reason I would have wanted to meet up with her, is to find out what she wants.

 

Maybe I don't want to move away from her. What if she regrets her decision? Id like to think that as long as she's abroad, we can't be, and maybe one day when shes back, and our feelings are still there, id like to think that maybe we can work it out.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You know what? You experienced a great little blast from the past. View her attention as just an intimate moment in time. Ex partners are still allowed to care for each other. You care, she cares, thats nice. But leave it there. No bad blood, but no possibility for a relationship. You seem to know this.

Don't initiate contact. Don't predict the future. Don't dwell on maybes. Keep on living your life. Smile at a girl or two when you play your next gig

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You know what? You experienced a great little blast from the past. View her attention as just an intimate moment in time. Ex partners are still allowed to care for each other. You care, she cares, thats nice. But leave it there. No bad blood, but no possibility for a relationship. You seem to know this.

Don't initiate contact. Don't predict the future. Don't dwell on maybes. Keep on living your life. Smile at a girl or two when you play your next gig

 

I will. Thanks for the advice.

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