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Need some hope right now....


Throwaway79

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Hello. I'll keep this short. Just came out of a relationship recently. Only was for only a few months but I fell hard. Anyway now I'm thinking I have nothing to look forward to in life and my best option is to do something radical to take this pain and loss away.

 

But it's not just this breakup that's causing this. Basically I am fearful of the future, dreading what's coming next. Been so many hard years in a row and I don't want to have to endure anymore. I dread what will come in 2014, feels like I have nothinG I look forward to.

 

I attended 4 funerals before I turned 18, my life has been such a struggle and so much pain. I just don't know if I want to continue.

 

Before anyone asks, yes I will be seeing a professional.

 

I was hoping someone could tell me an inspiring story of overcoming adversity, of finding love after a heart break, of finding happiness after thinking they never would. Something that gives hope

 

Thanks for reading

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I have found love after heart breaks. It takes a bit of time and working through the pain but love has come around again for me. I've had some really difficult things happen over the last couple of years, one of my daughters almost died and dealt w/ some serious health issues for months, my other daughter had some horrible things happen to her and as a mother it rips your heart out. I lost my house, my dog was hit by a car and killed, I lost my job. I had to come out to my family and coworkers, etc. as an addict which was embarrassing, humiliating, extremely painful. My kids moved clear accross the country to live w/ their dad so I'm living alone for the 1st time in my life. Today my children are doing well, I have another job that I love and I live in a small apartment which means I have plenty of money for other things. I'm learning to be comfortable having so much alone time. For 6 or 7 months it was living one nightmare after another and I cried every day. Today I smile and have accepted myself and what life has dealt me. I didn't do it alone. I've had to reach out to others even though it's uncomfortable for me.

 

Bad, sad things happen in life but there's nothing you can do to control that and it can hurt really bad. I'm almost 40 so this is just the past couple of years, I've had much pain over the years and things always turn around and get great again. I'm sorry you're hurting so bad, I know it isn't easy, keep moving forward, you can do it!

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Here's another one. One of my good friends from high school had a horrible break up w/ a man she loved and planned to marry. After several years together she found out he was sleeping around w/ many different women. Around the time of their break up he also beat her up until she had a concussion and then went out looking for her w/ a loaded gun. She loved and trusted this man with all her heart. As you can imagine, her heart was crushed. Since that time she has met a wonderful man who is faithful, kind, respects her, and they mean the world to each other. They are getting married in April. She is happy and has a full and contented life.

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Hi there! I've never answered this type of question, but I hope I can help you.

 

First of all, I'd like to say it's a great idea to seek professional help, it's a great step.

 

Now, the story: my parents have always been very loving to me, but not towards each other. I remember being ten and wondering "why don't they get a divorce?". My childhood best friend's parents almost got divorced around that time and I was actually jealous of her because of that. Growing up in that environment wasn't very easy, though a lot of people have it a lot worse (that's what I kept in mind at the time). I was also bullied until the 4th grade, but again, nothing very violent, a lot of kids have it worse.

 

By the time I was 14, I was feeling really lost and afraid of the future. I thought I was disgusting, both physically and in terms of personality. I thought no one would ever love me, I didn't completely trust my friends because of past betrayals, I thought I was too dumb to ever accomplish anything...I was a mess.

 

I contemplated the idea of dying once in a while. Not exactly suicide, though sometimes I wondered "what if". But usually I contemplated the thought of just dying...in my sleep, for instance. At the time, I thought that my life was terrible and if it was going to be like that, it was pointless. But you know what? Things change and you don't even notice it. And you change too without really realizing it. At 16 I found friends who mean the world to me to this day (I'm 20 now). But I still felt disgusting and still thought about that whole "falling asleep and never waking up" routine.

 

But something changed me, changed that way of thinking. My best friend had a friend (a girl) outside school who was super in love with him, but he didn't return her feelings. He told her this over and over, with all the patience and kindness possible. But she couldn't take it, I guess. She sent him an e-mail, later we realized it was her suicide letter, and killed herself. The damage she caused showed me how suicide is so horrible to the ones that care about the person. At that time I realized that even if I had to suffer throughout my entire life, I would always do my best to stay alive.

 

Over the past four years my great friend had his girlfriend (now ex) cheat on him, lost his father and lost another friend to an aneurism. He obviously got severely depressed, but he got up. He stood his ground and now, he's super happy. He still thinks about the ones he lost, but he lives a happy life. He has a girlfriend who adores him, he got into the College he wanted and has a great group of friends.

 

Witnessing his strength showed me things do get better. Maybe they get worse before they get better, but there's always something worth living for. Maybe it won't present itself to you, maybe you have to search for it and find it. But it's real and it will give your life meaning.

 

About my life, well: my parents got divorced a couple of years ago, which made my life a lot less rocky. A few people fell in love with me, proving me wrong. And I got into Med School, which I never in my wildest dreams thought was possible. It turned out that if I tried my hardest, pushing the fear of failure aside, I could do things.

 

Fear of what's to come is one of the worse things in this life, trust me, I know. I'm still crippled by it some times, I'm still insecure. But suicide means going out before your time. Means throwing away time you could've had to find happiness, even if right now it seems impossible. It isn't. I'm not saying you're not going to suffer, because we all suffer throughout life, but somethings are worth waiting for. Don't dread the future, as scary as it may be sometimes. I tell myself that if I do my best, even if I fail, then it's okay and tomorrow is another day to try again. I know this sounds cliché as hell, but it helps me.

 

I don't know if this helped you, I'm a messy writer so this post isn't very well-planned and written, but I wanted to tell you to hang on. Please hang on!

 

Best of luck,

HelloSunshine

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