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Conflicted About My Relationship...Help!


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I posted on here a few months ago, seeking advice on how to repair my relationship with my boyfriend. I got a lot of good feedback, and tried to implement a few things to turn my relationship around. For the most part, they worked. He no longer belittles me, acts (as) selfish as he did, and takes more of an interest in things that I am interested in myself. He's been doing really well lately, and I'm very happy he's chosen to put the effort in and fix things. The issue, however, now lies with me.

When I originally posted asking for advice, I desperately wanted to save my relationship. My boyfriend was falling away from me, we didn't really interact, and all I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. Now the issue is that despite his efforts to make things right, I don't want to fix things anymore. It's almost as if the damage has already been done for me emotionally, and no amount of making up on his part will repair it.

I tried to break up with him last night. We have been dating for 3 years, and have shared so much together over those years, so it was no easy task. It went about as terribly as I could have ever imagined. He became hysterical, crying, tripping over himself, begging me not to go. Because I still do care about him deep down, it was killing me to see him like that....

I wanted to sleep in our guest bedroom last night, but he begged me to sleep in our room, even if it was on the floor. I agreed, and slept (as much as I could) on the floor in our room. I woke up early this morning, my heart felt like it weighed 1,000 lbs. I crawled up into our bed and told him that I had made a big mistake, and want to try to move past it.

I think I made that decision a little prematurely, because now that I am fully awake, I'm still not happy in the relationship. I know that on some level I do still care about him, but again, something tells me the damage is done, and I, for some reason, can't get over it.

 

What should I do? Am I just being oversensitive and need to move on from the past with him, or do I follow what I think is best and break it off? I love him, but I'm not really in love with him anymore. I don't want him to disappear from my life completely, but I can't continue on the way things are now.

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What should I do? Am I just being oversensitive and need to move on from the past with him, or do I follow what I think is best and break it off? I love him, but I'm not really in love with him anymore. I don't want him to disappear from my life completely, but I can't continue on the way things are now.

 

You need to break up with him. It's awful I know, being the dumper can be just as bad as the dumpee. But I well understand there's just a point where the trust and feeling is gone if they've hurt you one time too many. Don't do what I did the first time that happened and stay trying to make them feel better, it'll only get worse for both of you. End things cleanly, explain what you're feeling, and go. Sometimes it just is too little too late no matter what gets done. Either that or you both try couples counseling, but in the end I think the result will still be the same.

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