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-me and this girl were going out for 3 months, then made it official

-we dated for a month, she liked me much more than i liked her, we ended up taking a "break" because things were going downhill(all my fault) in the end, she started crying

-i realized it was a mistake and asked her back a few days later, she said too soon and she still likes me but i need to show that i changed, i tried but the more i did the more she pulled away

-eventually she said we should just be friends and she still likes me(2-3 weeks ago?)

-she starts hugging me whenever i see her and telling her shes confusing me i thought she wanted to break up, she said she's hugging a friend and that she's over me

-a week ago i find out that there's some other guy in her life that she likes, they were friends before we officialy dated, they've been going out but they're not official now

 

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO it's eating me on the inside i'm so depressed i've already lost like 2kilos, i barely get 4-5 hours of sleep at night, i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about her and how she could move on so fast. i've been NC ever since i found out about the guy. i'm depressed 24/7, all i do is think about her, the past week has been MUCH worse than the first three weeks post breakup. i feel like this pain will never go away, i also have to see her everyday in school. PLEASE i need help i'm hurting badly

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Eh, I've been there and I know firsthand how much it hurts.

 

Try to stop thinking about what she is thinking. It sounds to me as if she is confused and torn between both of you. You did NOT do yourself any favors by trying so hard.

 

Her you need to make it a goal to form yourself into a better man. Surely there is something in which you could improve. Maintaining No Contact has definitely been good for you so far. Keep that up. It will force her perception of you to change, as she will begin to eventually wonder what happened to you. You want HER to think, "did he move on?"

 

As far as having to see her, try to act happy. That's hard, I know, but essential. You want her to think you're doing just fine without her.

 

You sound young. Feelings shift and change all the time when we're young. It might do you some good to try to talk to other girls, casually date.

 

All that pain and depression will pass away in time but you have to go through it all. Feel each emotion - don't deny them - and you'll be better on the other side.

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she said she's over me and us when i asked, so how can she be torn between the both of us? i just don't get how she could move on THAT FAST, when she wanted us to be official so bad. i want her back but i don't want to hold onto false hope , i can't get the image of them doing what we used to do out of my head. i wish i treated her better, she used to be SO SO HAPPY in the beginning telling everyone, now she doesn't even give a damn

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Firefly is spot on. Listen to his voice of reason. People say all sorts of things. She's doing you a favor by saying she's over you. Take her for her word and process these emotions and move on. You'll be a more attractive individual. You guys were only together for a few months which gives you great news. Here's the good news.

 

1. You will get over her probably a lot more quickly than you imagine. Date other women and eventually these feelings will pass.

2. Moving on will more easily change her mind. If you guys were together for years she already may think whatever about you and it will be more difficult to change her opinion. 3 months is not enough time for her to have formed a solid opinion about you. Move on, improve yourself and know that whatever she thinks about you is based off of those 3 months and that opinion can be easily swayed.

3. The rockiness of this relationship in 3 months shows that you BOTH have a lot of growing up to do to even consider being a good match for each other. Take this time to process that, learn and grow. If you are her are meant to be then this isn't over, but honestly you need to move on and stop focusing on all that.

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You're still at school, you're young, so it's okay, you have some learning to do. Remember that life is life-long learning process. You didn't want to be with her when she wanted to be with you. She's moved on with another guy, and now you want her back. Maybe you never really wanted to be with her, and it was only after you saw her hanging out with another guy, you wanted her back. I did the same exact thing with a guy I was friends with for six years, and I'm in a similar situation, except that we're both at uni now, but it still basically feels as if we're in high school, as well. I agree with mbee, take a mental break from her, you need to start focusing on yourself, giving yourself self-compassion, relaxing, eating properly, sleeping properly, hanging out with your friends and your family, and becoming a confident person again.

 

When she or someone else sees your confidence, she or someone else will come back to you. If you are meant to be, it isn't over, but be a friend to yourself, in the mean time. People seem to regularly forget that there are 3 billion girls, or 3 billion guys, out there, 'the one' thing is just a mental construct we create for ourselves. There is no 'one', they just seem to become the one in our minds after we've started hanging out with a person. There's 3 billion amazing girls out there, dude, and you're still in school, so they'll be plenty of opportunities in your lifetime to meet them. Remember all the things in your life that you have outside of her, your friends, maybe sports, the interests like specific video games or albums that you might love to get lost in, and someone will eventually be attracted to the confident, independent, version of you, and you'll be alright. Good Luck, blug.

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She asked a mutual friend how i am and he said good, what does she want? Her ego to be satisfied or what. Just 2 weeks ago she was crying over me. Now she doesn't even care, i just want her to come and hug me and hold me tight telling me it's a joke and she isn't over me

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